Hello Darkness My Old Friend

I sit here raging an internal war.

I saw your face far too many times in the crowds, so I had to leave.

Beaten and broken when I came into your life, forsaken with a sputter of life left in me, my fire inside flickered in and out.

Living in the dark with a collar so tight that I could hardly breathe is how I was.

I obeyed, I acted on orders I saw unfit for me at last.

After years of being kept in the dark, I saw a slim chance to come out of this hellhole once and for all.

However, as I sit here crying in the dark in the corner of nowhere and everywhere, I only feel regret and more fear.

The light you promised was only temporary.

I need a full makeover, not a Band-Aid to fix me.

A taste of peace in this world, in this life, a small ball of hope led me out of my hole into the light.

Your hand held onto mine, and your smile led me to believe it was the right thing, the best step to take.

You promised freedom, but it only ended up being a different hell for me.

Hell of dark and light, I fell hard out of sync with all I knew.

Disowned now and can’t go back unless I were to harm you, I can’t do this, but you could do it to me.

Do you not even see what you’ve done?

Where is the light that you promised, the love and laughter that would echo long into the nights?

A sudden surge of emotions kept me grounded, but your poison keeps leaking out of me as you grow further away, not to be hurt.

Was it all lies? Was it a mistake?

Words slipped and spoken back, giving false hope and making the inner fire burn once more; the poison comes flooding me once more.

Once I received the poison, I’m alone again, perhaps forever.

I ignored the warning about this and all about the light.

Staring into the vast void of darkness, I embrace it back into me.

The light was wrong; the poison didn’t hold, but my heart did break, and my fire blew out.

Empty once more, I go back to those who forsake me for my pledge to the light.

Dark and light will always battle, but neither is truly good or evil.

The only good is what you make of them, and the only evil is letting one control you entirely.

My feet drag as I make my trip back to my hole.

This time, there will be no hand there to pull me back.

The fire of mine that burned you I had no control over, but once I did, no chance to embrace it with you ever.

Sometimes the only path is no path.