Chapter 1-Busted Hips and The Woes of Riding Buses
, step, tap, step. Repeat. I was trying to drown out the pain in my hips and numb my feelings by focusing on my walking rhythm. My anxiety and PTSD made my thoughts extremely loud inside my head. My boyfriend noticed this and was trying to hold my arm in a supportive gesture.
“Baby, I have you. Stop being bullheaded. I know your hips hurt,” he said.
“They do, but it doesn't matter. I still have to do physical therapy in the morning. I really hope that the bus ride is gentle, but it's probably not going to be.
Not to mention, it's usually before my medicine kicks in, so no matter whether I use the lift on the bus or use the steps, my hips are still stiff, and some of those drivers are really inconsiderate and make me almost run to the bus, else they leave without me, then blame it on me like they couldn't see me walking out there to it. The roads going to Charleroi suck also, not to mention that Perry puts my hips through their paces. After all, he is trying to undo what happens when you stop going to therapy for almost twelve years. I probably should have done a few exercises for my hips before I came up here, so the pain is my fault.
I was having trouble with my bladder before we left the house. I knew the strain on my pelvis would spell disaster. Ay, my damn leaking bladder makes me feel like I'm three times my age. Running to the bathroom every three minutes and barely making it before my hips clamp my legs shut and I'm peeing on my feet. So embarrassing, even in my own house.
Oh, Sweet Baby Jesus, I'm regretting that decision. That and the last two cortisone injections. Having your orthopedist drive a needle into your hip joints is not something I would recommend doing unless it is absolutely necessary either.” I said this with a pained glance at my boyfriend.
“That's where you were last Wednesday morning? Why didn't you tell me? I would have come with you.”
“You can't, remember? My doctors didn't say that I needed someone to escort me when I applied for Go Westmoreland when I was still at Victoria House. Watching Dr. Hennessy administering the injection probably would have sent you into an emotional tailspin too, and the process is hard enough for me as it is without dealing with that.”
As if proving me right, he started crying uncontrollably and screaming at the top of his lungs, threatening to call his surrogate mother.
“ See, if that would have happened while I was in Dr. Hennessy's office, you would have embarrassed me and made him question having me as a patient. Thanks for proving your immaturity one more time.”
The Pennsylvania weather was also my enemy. Drastic temperature swings in the fall and the wind make sure that
I feel every inch of my lower body.
My hips are the worst of it, especially when I finally get to sleep after an extremely long day because my chosen profession as a writer requires long hours. I'm never completely done writing. When I finish one piece, another one follows and the bilateral hip pain doesn't help much.
My experience is a proving exercise because I experience the pain almost daily. It leaves me almost crippled in the morning and makes sleepless nights consistently part of my life despite treatment. My goal is to make my passion for writing my true career. My notebook and tablet are usually laying on the desk in my office. I never miss a Wednesday evening on Twitter, no matter how exhausted I am because that's LinebyLineTime and I know that I still need the practice to improve my craft and abilities.
Nights like this made the pain worth it because I loved the way everything was awash in fall color. The air was crisp and cold, especially where I had my hands gripping my crutches. It turned my fingertips purple. I inhaled the air as I rubbed my hands together to keep the blood flowing.
Tonight felt different than all the others because I had a feeling I needed to be out there, as if I was drawn to it by an unforeseen twist of fate. I was proven right by the appearance of an extremely pregnant woman who stood in the middle of the gravel path leading up to the greenspace.
