reverse exoticization 1
Bitch, the lard thought it could escape!
My God, fuck, why me?! WHYYYY?!
I’m sitting in this shitty cardboard box that they proudly call a “studio” in Los Angeles, and I’m trying, for fuck’s sake, to save the world!
With late-night posts on X that one and a half cripples read, and one of them is my second account!
I’m writing these fucking isekai fanfics where my heroines are strong, independent, not waiting for a prince, but building their own harems of bishōnen!
And in the comments, they write that they are “not cute enough”!! Not, for fuck’s sake, cute enough?!
Well, fuck you and your cute, submissive dolls!! I want punk! I want a revolution!!
I want, for fuck’s sake, just to eat normally!!!!
My name is Summer Cox, and my life is some kind of evil satire of the American dream!
A vegan-punk-eco-activist who eats expired soy sausages because there’s simply no money for fresh ones! The whole world around me is plastic, fake, Instagrammable!!
People smile to your face, and then go to Starbucks for coffee in a plastic cup, and all their eco-consciousness evaporates faster than my hope for a bright future!
I change apartments more often than socks! Either the yogi neighbors were meditating so loudly through the wall that my third eye started twitching, or in another place, mutant cockroaches the size of my ex showed up!!
And I dream of saving whales!! Or at least just not starving to death in this Californian desert of hypocrisy!
And so today!!!! I’m walking from another pointless rally where we shouted “Save the planet!“, but we ourselves had iPhones made with child labor in China!!
Dead Kennedys are screaming in my headphones, a hungry whale is screaming in my stomach, and then I see it!!!! I SEE IT!!!!!
A bunch!!! Of perfect, green, divine BROCCOLI falls out of the truck speeding ahead!!!!! It’s a sign!! The universe is giving me a chance!!!
I lunge forward like a lioness on an antelope, like a punk on free beer!!!! I run, extending my hand to my green salvation!!!
And then the world just turns off!! DARKNESS!!! SHARP PAIN!!!! And the last thought in my head: “Fuuuuuuuuuck, did another truck just hit me?!
Over broccoli?! This isn’t even irony, it’s just fucking mockery!!!!!“.
I open my eyes!! Light!!! The sun is hitting me right in the face through the leaves!! Leaves?!
What the fuck?! It smells like earth, moisture, moss, not smog and garbage!!
Where the fuck am I, are they shooting a new Avatar movie in Hollywood?! My head is splitting, my body aches as if a truck really did run over it!
I slowly get up!! I’m in a forest!!! In some, for fuck’s sake, fucking dense and wild forest!!!
Is this some kind of prank from my anarchist friends?! Or did I die and go to vegan hell, where there are trees but no food?!
Wait a minute!!!!! Pain!! Strange smells!!! Forest!!! Truck-kun hit me!!!! Holy shit!!!! DID I GET ISEKAI’D?! LIKE IN MY FANFICS??!
LIKE IN ANIME??! THIS IS IT!!!! THIS IS MY CHANCE!!!! No more expired sausages!!! No more stupid comments!!
Only magic, adventures, and a harem of handsome men who will worship their savior from another world!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!
I get to my feet, brush the dirt off myself, and suddenly I hear some strange sound! Dull thuds!! And screams!!
Wild, bestial, full of rage!!!! Carefully, like a spy from a bad movie, I make my way through the bushes!
And what I see makes my brain just boil and leak out through my ears!!!!!
A girl is standing in the clearing!
Absolutely, totally, motherfucking, NAKED!!!! Her skin is pale, almost glowing, her hair is a wild green color, like moss on trees, her eyes are also green, and they burn with some inhuman fire!!!
Her figure is just fucking amazing, like Venus from a painting, but instead of a sweet smile on her face, there’s a grimace of pure, unadulterated, concentrated RAGE!!!!
And with her feet!!! Just, for fuck’s sake, with her feet!!! She’s beating a huge wild boar to death!!!!
Blood is flying everywhere, the crunch of bones echoes through the forest, and she’s screaming!!!!
She’s screaming in such a voice that the hair on my ass is moving!!!!!
She’s roaring something incomprehensible, some strange word, again and again!!!!!
– BIIIIITCH!!!!! LARD!!!!! THOUGHT YOU COULD ESCAPE?!!!!!!!!!
WELL FUCK YOU IN THE ASS, YOU’RE NOT ESCAPING!!!!! I WANT TO EAAAAAAT!!!!!!!
She delivers a final, crushing kick with her foot right into the animal’s snout!!! The boar falls silent!!!
The green-haired fury stands over it, breathing heavily, covered in blood and mud, her bare breasts rising and falling in a frantic rhythm!!!
What... the... actual... FUCK?!!!!!!!!! What is this shit?! Where is my sweet world with elves and cat-girls?! Who is this naked psychopath?!
And what the fuck is “salo” [lard]?! Is that the name of that poor boar?!
She killed it because it didn’t want to be her pet named Salo?!!
My God, I didn’t get isekai’d... I ended up in some bloody, surreal arthouse film about animal rights activists, where the main villain is a naked green lesbian maniac!!!!
Holy shit!!!!! This... this... This is even cooler than what I wrote!!!!!!
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
The naked, green-haired psychopath, covered in someone else’s blood, walks away from the mangled body of the boar and comes straight towards me!!!
My feet feel like they’ve grown into the ground!! Run, bitch, run!!!! – my self-preservation instinct screams!!! But my body doesn’t obey!!
I just stand there, like a statue made of expired tofu, and watch as this forest valkyrie of death approaches!!
She comes right up to me!!
I can smell blood, wet leaves, and something wild, primordial!!!
Her green eyes look me over, as if I’m some exhibit in a museum of weird Californian dickheads!
She slowly raises her hands, still wet with the boar’s blood, and I close my eyes, waiting for the blow!!!
But she doesn’t hit me! Her cold, strong fingers gently touch my skull!
She runs them along the contour of my head, measuring something, weighing it!!!
Then she purrs contentedly to herself, like a cat that has found the perfect place to sleep:
– Hmm-m-m... This will make a so-so cup!
A cup?!
A fucking CUP?! She wants to make a fucking mug for her herbal tea out of my skull?! Oh my fucking god!!!!
I got isekai’d into a serial killer’s Etsy shop!!!!!
– You’re one of them too, an adventurer?
– she suddenly asks, letting go of my head and wiping her bloody hands on her own thigh. – I hate you sluts.
Running around here, raising their levels, making noise... And then I have to take a knife and cut them out. It’s especially fun when they’re sleeping!
For fuck’s sake, I’ve got nowhere to put the skulls! There’s a whole mountain of them behind the stream, it pisses me off!
What. The. Fuck?! Is she joking?!
Did she just complain to me about the domestic problems associated with a surplus of human remains?!!
My brain is trying to find some logic in this, some, for fuck’s sake, meaning!!!! Maybe... maybe she’s an activist too?!!
Protecting her forest from developers... I mean, adventurers! Yes! That’s it!!! We’re on the same side!
– No, no, I’m not an adventurer! I’m an activist! – I blurt out in one breath.
– I... I fight for nature!!! In Los Angeles, I went to protests!
We chained ourselves to trees so they wouldn’t be cut down! We saved dolphins from plastic bags! I’m a vegan! I’m an American!
I fight for the planet!!!
The green-haired girl looks at me like I’m a fucking lunatic!
She leans down to the boar’s carcass, rips out a piece of raw, bloody meat with her bare hands and starts chewing it, looking me straight in the eyes!
Blood flows down her chin, she smacks her lips like an animal! Oh my God, I think I’m gonna puke...
– I don’t have a name, – she says, after swallowing the piece.
– Some call me Mavka. And this, – she nods at the bloody piece in her hand, – is meat. It’s delicious.
You can have some too, if you want. You know... – she suddenly falls silent and looks up at the evening sky, where the first stars are already beginning to appear.
Her face changes, something strange appears in it... some kind of dream? A thirst? – I want to go there.
She points to the sky with a bloody finger!
– Once I built a steam-powered rocket. From oak and old cauldrons.
And I launched Mara from the swamp up there. You know, she was so beautiful it was annoying, but she didn’t scare anyone.
I mean, what kind of scarecrow is she if everyone stared at her like a painting? Absolutely useless!
So I put her in that rocket! Who knows where she’s flying now, my beauty... So, yeah, I don’t have a friend.
I miss her sometimes.
A FUCKING STEAM-PUNK ROCKET?! AN ASTRONAUT SWAMP MONSTER?!! My brain, for fuck’s sake, has left the chat!
I look at this naked, bloody maniac who misses her cosmic friend, and I realize that I haven’t just been isekai’d!
I’ve ended up in a personal surrealist hell! This is some kind of dream caused by expired sausage poisoning!
Suddenly Mavka looks at me again, and that wild, predatory glint appears in her eyes again.
– Listen, American... Since you’re so helpless, I know how to help you! – she says with some sinister smile.
– I know how to get you those stupid levels! I’m always watching these dickheads. I’ve seen a couple of fast tactics!
For example, one blonde... Oh, she was so cunning, the bitch! Smart! I didn’t even kill her right away!
Her eyes light up with a wild, excited fire!
– I tortured her for several days! – she joyfully informs me.
– I have a homemade shocker, you know, from a dynamo machine, you have to turn the handle.
So I tied her to a tree and zapped her with electricity! Right on the nipples! On the clit! Ooooh!!!
You should have seen how funny she twitched!!
I... I’m thinking about that chick’s clit.
That’s all that’s spinning in my head! This thought has burrowed into my brain like a worm! How she twitched!
I’m trying to push this image out, to force myself to think about saving dolphins, about melting glaciers, about all that bullshit that just yesterday seemed to me to be the center of the universe!
But no! All I see before my eyes is a miserable blonde twitching from electric shocks to her clit!!!
And... oh my fucking god... a part of me... some dark, primordial, uninvited part of me... it’s... it’s interested in this!!!
What the FUCK is wrong with me?!! This forest has poisoned me! This air!
Or this crazy green bitch who is now walking ahead and pulling me by the hand, as if I’m her new favorite toy!
– Well, let’s go, American, why are you standing there like a cow on ice?
– Mavka mutters, pushing through the thick bushes with the ease with which I usually push through the crowd at a vintage clothing sale.
– It’s not far from here! I’ll show you my house! Just don’t tell anyone, because I have a couple more hideouts all over the forest!
You need a plan “B” in case another dickhead with a sword decides he’s a fucking knight-liberator!
“Skhron” [Hideout]? Is that like... a safe house?
Mother of God, is this psychopath also some kind of partisan?! She leads me to a pile of branches, covered with moss and old leaves!
I would have walked past and never guessed that it was anything more than just part of the forest landscape!
Mavka throws aside some camouflage cloth, and under it appears a rough wooden door, dug right into the ground!
We descend into her dwelling! A dugout! A FUCKING DUGOUT!!! It’s like the burrow of some giant forest beast, but... furnished by a maniac-inventor!!!
I blink my eyes, trying to get used to the semi-darkness, which is dispersed only by the flickering of a few candles, made, it seems, from the fat of that very same boar!!!
And what I see makes my punk brain explode in a multicolored firework of FUCKING AWE!!!!
This... this is Frankenstein’s laboratory, crossed with a library and, for fuck’s sake, a crypt!!!!! Shelves everywhere, made of rough-hewn boards, and on them!!!
On them stand strange devices, assembled from gears, copper pipes, glass flasks in which something is bubbling and shimmering!!!
Piles of books in old leather bindings with symbols I don’t understand!!!
Next to them lie homemade tools, sharp knives, crossbows, some strange traps that look like torture devices from the Middle Ages!!! And... and...
Skulls.
FUCKING HUMAN SKULLS!!!!!
They are everywhere!!! Some are bleached by the sun and rain, perfectly smooth! Others are yellowed, with cracks!
Some serve as candle holders, others are made into cups and bowls!!
One, particularly large, hangs from the ceiling, like some, for fuck’s sake, disco ball for necrophiliacs!!!
And under the ceiling – garlands!!!
Not of Christmas lights, no!!!! Garlands of dried mushrooms, herbs, some roots and... small animal bones!!!!
The air is thick, smelling of dried herbs, wax, old leather, and something else... metallic... the smell of blood.
– Well, here we are.
This is my home, – Mavka says contentedly, throwing the remains of the meat on the table. – I live alone!
The best neighbors are dead neighbors, that’s what I think! They don’t make noise, they don’t steal mushrooms, and their skulls make wonderful flower pots!
She looks at me with her wild, green eyes, and I understand... I understand that there is no way back!!!
I’m in the lair of a crazy, brilliant, bloody forest nymph! And I’m, for fuck’s sake, in complete awe!!
I’m still thinking about that clit. Twitching. A stupid thought, like an obsessive melody from fucking TikTok.
I look at all these skulls, at these strange devices, at all this crazy, anarchic harmony, and the part of my brain that is responsible for survival screams: “Run, Summer, run the fuck away from here!!!“.
And the other, the punk part, hungry for real chaos, whispers: “O-o-o-o, this, for fuck’s sake, is fucking awesome...“.
Mavka throws a gnawed bone into the corner, where a whole pile of them has already accumulated.
She turns to me, and in her green eyes a new, cunning fire is burning. Not like during the torture, but... creative.
As if she just came up with a new, brilliant art project.
– Listen, Red, – she says, and this “Red” sounds so strange, so natural from her lips, as if she had known me all my life.
Holy shit, she gave me a nickname! Is this progress? Or is this a step towards becoming a lampshade?
– There’s a piece of shit nearby. A village of newbies. You know, like that blonde, only even dumber.
They’ve already annoyed me so much that my teeth are grinding! They make noise, they litter, they cut down trees for their stupid huts!
She approaches a dark corner where something that looks like two huge metal backpacks with pipes attached to them is hanging on the wall.
It looks like a prop from a movie about a crazy pyromaniac plumber.
– So I was thinking here... – she gently strokes one of the devices.
– I suggest we go tonight and burn them to the fucking ground. I have a couple of homemade auto-flamethrowers.
They run on tar and dried bats. The effect is simply a bomb! Whoever runs from the fire, we’ll finish off with a sword!
