Chapter 1
It’s early morning on Friday. I'm making breakfast for my little brothers, Lucas (6) and Marco (7), before walking them to school. Since my father died in a car accident two years ago, this is now my daily routine. My grandmother occasionally helps but keeps her distance because of my mom. Mom doesn’t work, just drinks all day. I honestly think she only moves to use the bathroom and to buy more liquor. I’m not sure she even eats. I hear their small feet on the stairs and set out eggs, bacon, and pancakes for them.
Lucas: Yum!
Marco: Thanks, Kaia.
Me: Anything for my two favorite boys. But hurry up—once you’re done, you’ll need to finish getting ready so you’re not late for school.
Both: Ok.
I walk into the living room. Moms passed out with a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s. I shake her awake. Waking her is like waking a Snorlax.
Me: Mom. Mom, wake up.
She finally wakes up, eyes bloodshot, and gives me a look of disgust before grabbing her head. She reaches for aspirin, pops a few in her mouth, and washes them down with more whiskey.
Mom: What the hell do you want?
Me: I made breakfast; if you want some, feel free to help yourself.
Mom: You can’t fucking cook. Leave me alone.
Me: Right away, Mother.
I start walking away but hear her slow footsteps behind me. She grabs my hair.
Mom: What was that you said?
Me: Nothing, Mom. Let me go.
Mom: Don’t get fucking smart with me.
She flings me toward the kitchen. I fall. Lucas and Marco watch, scared. They see this daily, too young to understand why. I grab their plates, run upstairs with them, and set up breakfast on a towel in my room. I hurry to collect their clothes and backpacks; when I return, they’re finishing eating.
Lucas: Why is mommy so mad?
Me: She’s just tired. Come on, you guys, go wash up, brush your teeth, and get dressed, ok.
Marco: She hates us, doesn’t she?
Me: No, she doesn’t. Moms just really stressed. Things have been hard without Dad around.
Marco: I miss Daddy.
Me: I do too.
I hug Marco, kiss his cheek, and send both boys to the bathroom. I take the dishes to the sink.
Mom: Wash those fucking dishes now.
Me: I’m getting the boys ready. I’ll do them after school.
Mom: I SAID NOW!
I wash the dishes. The boys come downstairs, ready for school. I brush their hair and hand them money for snacks. As we head out, Marco trips, and the coat rack falls over.
Mom: What was that noise?
I see fear on Marco’s face. I rush them out the door. As I follow, my mom appears, glaring at me through barely open eyes.
Mom: Why are you always so noisy?!
Me: Sorry, Mom. I just fell.
Mom: I wish I had aborted you sometimes. I would be so much better off without you.
Me: I gotta go.
Mom: Like hell you are!
I try to leave, but she turns me around and slaps me. I grab my face, push her off, and she falls. I grab my jacket and leave. Outside, Lucas is crying.
Me: Hey, what’s wrong?
Lucas: I heard mommy yelling.
Me: It’s ok. Let’s get you guys to school.
I grab their hands and walk them to school. I walk them each to class and give them a kiss. Leaving the school, I bump into Lucas’s teacher, Mrs. Elm.
Mrs. Elm: Morning, Kaia.
Me: Morning.
I turn so Mrs. Elm can’t see the slap mark on my face. I’m usually more talkative, which may make her suspicious.
Mrs. Elm: Is everything ok?
Me: Just fine. Running late for school.
I hurry away before she can say more. At school, I’m barely on time. At my locker, Emma passes by and knocks my books to the floor.
Emma: Oops.
She and her clique laugh. Emma’s the most popular girl. Every boy wants her, and every girl wants to be her—except me. As I pick up my books, a hand with a purple ring appears, handing me one. I don’t look up.
Me: Thanks.
Voice: Anytime.
I look up as the bell rings. I quickly gather my things and run to class. Everyone stares as I take my usual seat in the back, keeping my hoodie up. At least I made it on time for math class. Meon, the boy every girl wants, sits in front of me. I sneak glances at him. Black hair, white teeth, green eyes, and a little mole on the right side below his bottom lip. My pencil rolls off my desk, but he catches it first.
Meon: Here you go.
Me: Thanks.
Meon: Kaia, right?
Me: Yeah.
I mutter, head down, avoiding his eyes. The bell rings and class began. I steal glances and doodle in my notebook, waiting for class to end. Finally, the bell rings. I switch out my books at my locker.
Emma: Oh look, it’s Kaia, your freaky neighborhood bum.
Me: I’m gonna be late to class.
Emma: Give me last night’s homework.
Me: I didn’t do it.
Emma: I’m not stupid. You always do your homework.
She slaps my books from my hands again. As I try to pick them up, her posse corners me. Emma grabs my binder, finds last night’s homework, and erases my name, replacing it with hers.
Me: You can’t do that.
Emma: Looks like I just did.
I kneel to pick up my books. I spot the same ring as earlier. Meon hands me my book.
Meon: Need a hand?
Me: I got it.
Meon: Emma?
Me: It’s nothing.
Meon: Want to maybe hang out aft--
Me: No thanks.
I grab my things before he can finish and rush to my next class, hoping the day goes quickly. Finally, the day ends, and I leave to go get my brothers when I bump into Meon again. I mean, I physically bumped into him. His hand made it to my waist to steady me.
Meon: Hey.
Me: Hi.
I leave in a hurry, and he grabs my hand. I turn around, and he sees the mark on my face. His hand slowly reaches for it but not before I swat it away. I take off running.
