Chapter 1
I live right downtown New York City. I thrive on the chaos and confusion of this glorious city, and I can't imagine living anywhere else on this planet. My very blood sings New York.
I own a little hair salon on Fifth Avenue, right in the thick of it all. 'Darlene's', that's me. I bought the place about five years ago when it was just a hollowed out boutique that went under from the pressure of the city, but everybody has to have their hair done, it's New York for Pete's sake.
My little cousin held a chair here until she decided to go off to college for Agriculture, she has a thing about plants. Her apartment looked like a scene out of Tarzan. When she was packing up, she started bringing them to me.
Alright, first off, I live in an apartment so I don't have to look out for plants like grass and Daisies. I came home from work and my place looked like an undiscovered jungle. There were even plants in the bathroom for Christ's sake!
But being the doll I am, I said thank you and asked when she was leaving. There is no way in hell I'm living in that, I'm afraid a gorilla will swing me up from the vines!
The next day I started asking people if they wanted any plants. Most said no, even though I was giving them away free! Assholes. I did however pawn a couple of them off. So every day I come home and pray Tarzan doesn't show up in the night. Aaaayaaaayaaah!
I got a call from her today, "How are the plants?" she asks first off. No hi, how are you doing. Plants.
I informed her they were growing like weeds.
Finally getting to the point of her call, she informed me that she had met someone. Well good for her. I hope he likes plants.
We chat for a bit and she hits me with the bomb. "He rides in the Rodeo circuit."
Do what? Okay, no one from New York City knows anything about Rodeos, horses or cowboys. That is an alien world, and the extent of their knowledge goes no farther than what they see on the TV.
He has invited her to go visit his family's ranch in Oklahoma. And get this, she wants me to come along. Seriously?
I scrape for every excuse I can, not to go, but somehow or another, the words "Yes, I would love to!" just fall right out of my mouth.
They leave in two weeks.
I hate airports. You wouldn't think so, my being from one of the craziest cities in the country, but I absolutely despise airports. Hundreds of strangers crammed together in one place trying to find their luggage and family and friends. I guess it's really not that different is it? But still.
So here I stand, a trolley of luggage and not a clue what to do next.
"Darlene!"
I'd know that high pitched squeal anywhere.
"Katie! Thank God," we hug and talk ninety to nothing.
"Darlene, I'd like you to meet Buck Dowers, Buck, my cousin Darlene," she makes the introductions.
"Wonderful to finally meet you. Katie talks about you all the time," he smiles, offering his hand.
"Well, it's probably all lies. Nice to meet you," I shake his rough calloused hand.
And there it is. The dead zone.
Katie grabs my arm and chatters away as Buck pulls the trolley out to his truck, his big dusty truck. This is just getting too cliche'. What are the odds that a man named Buck, with calloused hands, would drive a big dusty truck? Apparently one hundred percent! Here he is!
So, Buck is also a student of agriculture, that's how they met. Apparently his family owns a 'small ranch', just shy of three hundred acres. His family has had ties to the Rodeo Circuit for well over a hundred years. Okay.
"Oh Darlene, wait until you see it, it is wonderful. Open country, no cars and smelly buses, no crowds to break through, clean air, plants and trees. I love it!"
She would.
"I can't wait." I peered over the tops of my designer shades just to make sure I haven't landed on Mars, or any other dusty planet.
She jumps up into the truck and slides over to the middle. I have on a snug pencil skirt, how the hell am I going to manage this? I can't lift my leg.
"Here, try this," Buck drops a small wooden box at my feet and beams brightly, hooking his thumbs in the waistband of some well worn blue jeans. He puts me in mind of Jethro Bodine from that TV show 'The Beverly Hillbillies'. I always hated that show.
"Thank You," I lift my skirt carefully and finally manage to get in.
He closes the door and runs around the other side. When he gets in we are squeezed together like sardines. This is not going to be an easy ride.
He puts the truck in gear and we take off with a jerk. No. This is not going to be a pleasant ride.
The truck roars loudly in competition with the radio blasting out country music.
"Roll the window down Darlene, it's getting hot in here," Katie shouts in my ear. My perfectly styled hair is whipped down and about my face. No, not pleasant by any means.
Once we get away from the congestion of the airport it opens up to a more rural environment and much less traffic. I can tell the difference in the air as I inhale deeply. Yep, 'We country now'.
Buck shouts out details about the town we're going to, but I can't hear a word he's saying. I just nod and smile.
"I thought we'd stop and grab a bite before we headed out to the ranch. You ladies good with that?"
I nod and smile.
He makes a sharp turn causing Katie to fall into me. He then turns onto a rough dirt road that rattles the teeth in the back of my head. He comes to an abrupt stop, forcing me to throw my hands out to the dusty dash, in front of a building that looks like something from a cowboy movie. The sign on the roof says, 'Maudine's'. I wonder if she knows Jethro here.
I carefully slide down from the seat, desperately trying to not let my skirt slide any higher. My hands are dusty. Oh god, my skirt! I twist around to see dust there too. My heels are not made to be walking in gravel. I stagger and try to keep my balance as I hold on to the door.
"Wait. Here," Katie starts digging under the seat and comes out with flip flops.
Flip flops. I have never worn flip flops a day in my life, and for good reason, they are just stupid looking and make that annoying popping sound when you walk.
"I'll be fine," I take another step and hear a snap. No fucking way! I looked down, and sure enough my heel snapped right off.
"Oh Darlene, were they expensive?"
I want to cry. No, they weren't expensive, I just have three hundred dollars oozing out of my ass!
"It's fine," I force a smile.
Crunch, pop, crunch, pop. How humiliating.
"Now this here, is the best place in the state for Bar-b-que ribs," Buck holds the door open for us and a blast of heat and seasonings burn my sinuses. At least he has manners.
"Your going to love them. They are so juicy and tender they just fall off the bone," Katie excitedly informs me.
As we walk through to get in a line, I look at the plates of the other customers. I have never seen so much meat and sauce in my life, and it's accompanied by the largest French fries I have ever seen.
"Welcome to Maudine's. What can I get ya?" A man says loudly with a big smile, minus a front tooth. His apron could not possibly hold any more, as he wiped his hand across his prominent gut.
"Give us three half racks, taters and, what would ladies like to drink?" Buck asked.
"I'll have beer, Darlene?" Katie says.
"Just water, thank you."
"Two Buds and a water," Buck tells the man slinging huge chunks of meat on the plates, then adding a massive handful of 'taters'.
"Betty Sue will bring your drinks right out."
Betty Sue? Seriously? I had to refrain from rolling my eyes.
Finally finding a table, we sit to eat. I watch them. They are ripping the meat apart with their hands, sauce dripping as they take bites from the bone. How uncivilized.
"Is there silverware?"
They both stop eating and look at me with sauce smeared about their mouths. Buck wipes his mouth.
"You want silverware?"
"Yes," I say.
"You wanna eat ribs with silverware? I gotta see this!" he laughs and jumps up, and rushes through the crowded dining hall, returning with a knife and fork wrapped in a napkin.
"Here ya go," he laughs.
"Thank you," I'm not really sure how to go about this.
"Cut between the bones," Katie explains.
I manage to cut a rib off, and attempt to cut the meat off of the bone, but the damn thing won't stay still. Buck laughs loudly.
"Ya gotta use your fingers," he rips another one free and bites into it.
As disgusting as it is, I pick up the rib and bring it to my mouth, trying to eat it without wearing it. Damn, this is good! Manners out the window, I suck that bone clean!
