Chapter 1 - Julia
Julia was a tomboy.
She loved her freedom, her scooter, and chatting with everyone outside the high school. While other teenagers waited for the bus, she would settle onto her seat and call out to those on the sidewalk from a distance. So, the talk was loud.
She wasn’t slender but rather plump, with short hair-just long enough that one wouldn’t mistake her for a boy. She didn’t want to waste time styling it, but she didn’t neglect her face. Light makeup, quickly applied, rarely earrings-hoops or danglers at parties. Often denim shorts and, trousers in winter, except for evenings out, when she transformed into a girl with a dress, never a jumpsuit.
The buses came every sixty minutes; this interval allowed Julia to park her scooter at the curb’s edge and come discuss face to face. Only if she tired of sitting, otherwise her two-wheeler stayed glued to her. Closer to her interlocutors, her voice changed-she shouted less and smiled more. It was precisely then that one glimpsed another facet of her behavior. One could barely see her teeth in their half-circle. Despite her corpulence, her face was firmer, no fat cheeks, fine eyebrows; and when she listened between smiles, one would have thought she was always ready to throw a sharp punch if someone disrespected her. And then suddenly, she would laugh with frank abandon and immediately close her lips to reopen them slightly and continue smiling. She observed a certain propriety that obliged her to laugh discreetly but unnaturally; after each burst she remembered how to behave. It was a mask of good conduct. Her entire body was wrapped in an aura that attracted-without knowing why-boys who approached just to listen to her. Some managed, at times, to regain control of themselves and began a useless conversation they would forget upon moving away from her.
One of them, one day, a boy who asked too many questions, approached while she stood talking to a friend; he interrupted them and addressed Julia:
-I find you quite pleasing. I’d like us to be friends.
She looked at him for several seconds, mouth closed, right fist clenched, back straight. The friend stepped aside to the left and left Julia facing the boy. She replied:
-We don’t know each other well enough.
-Whom did you know before speaking to them?
There was no intonation in this question. Julia took several more seconds before responding.
-Yes, you’re right, but I don’t like your way of speaking. Her eyes narrowed as if aiming far.
-I don’t like taking complicated paths for simple things.
The fist was still clenched, eyes half-closed.
Several seconds of silence passed. It was calm around them; no one dared open their mouth. Her friends knew the girl’s reactions and feared them.
Then suddenly she smiled. General relief. A slight stretch appeared on each side of her lips and, without paying attention, her fist slowly loosened, her fingers breathing.
She asked the boy:
-Do you seek only friendship, or will you attempt more?
He could have answered quickly, but he preferred to wait before resuming calmly and with maturity:
-To obtain more... That was my initial objective.
Julia was destabilized; she hadn’t expected such frankness.
He continued mischievously:
-...But we don’t know each other well enough.
This made Julia smile. She understood the subtle joke quickly. One could see those little white teeth appear. Her smile remained a second longer on her lips than usual. There, she understood the intelligence the boy deployed.
Julia suddenly felt a shiver down her back. She collected herself.
She took control of the situation and affirmed with all her courage and in her softest voice:
-You’re flirting with me
-No, I am not courting you
-Why did you change your objective?
-It’s possible we might not please each other
-And if I please you, what would you intend to do?
-Might need a moment to change my behavior
She paused. She was probing the behavior of this strange boy.
While keeping her eyes half-closed, in an uncertain and feeble voice, she asked:
-If I kiss you, right now, what will you do?
-You’ll skip two steps.
There was a void, then he continued:
-For now, I’m using the formal ’you.
-All right; you can use the informal. I prefer it. She said hastily
She waited, then resumed, her eyes never leaving the boy’s face for a second:
-Do you agree, then?
-Yes... though it would still be disappointing.
-Why? Once again, she was destabilized.
-Won’t respond to your kiss. I’m not in the role of a lover.
-Ah... then act like a lover.
-Very well...
Nothing was visible to the eye, but the boy was passing from a state of friendship to that of a lover. And this was felt in the heart of each of the students remaining at a distance; their gestures and discussions suddenly lost importance in their eyes.
The boy’s entire body changed. All his muscles relaxed, his gaze began to shine. The two looked at each other fixedly. No one around spoke anymore, no one moved, all held their breath. Girls or boys, none were interested in any other subject.
The boy didn’t blink either, then very gently raised his hands to Julia’s throat. He took her face between the palms of his hands as if he were delicately holding a thornless red rose inserted in the middle. His thumbs placed on each side of her nose, in the hollows at the start of her cheeks, glided very gently toward Julia’s eyebrows; he caressed them from the inside toward the extremities. Then his hands pressed more firmly. He approached her face, felt the irregular breath coming from opposite meeting his lips. He placed a light kiss on the upper lip, light as a fine drop of summer rain, then another on the second. Julia’s head was emptied, blown away. All her perpetual analyses, each gesture, each intonation she decoded, all the unspoken things she dissected-all left her mind, released, pushed back by violent wind, blown away! Expelled!
Quite naturally her eyes remained closed. It was such an intense sensation that it occupied all of Julia’s attention. Suddenly nothing else existed at all. The young people around faded away one after another; they became mist one after the other. Julia was surrounded by fog, by clouds, by warming rays, by breezes and bitter winds blowing under the cool sun of a spring noon.
On her skin an electric sensitivity rolled wave after wave, like swells, lifting each pore and calming them immediately, from belly to head, from hands to throat, then another passed from top to bottom, sometimes only the left side, sometimes only the right side. She no longer controlled anything.
Then just as gently as he had approached, the boy loosened his hands slightly without releasing them, pulled his face back. There, they opened their eyes with difficulty. Neither of them wanted to intentionally. The intensity of the light obliged them to protect themselves instinctively. Finally, they stood face to face, closer than before. Around them one heard certain sighs-the imprisoned breath compressed behind the barriers of the thorax resumed its course after a release. It was like a wave departing backward. In one passage it cleaned; the sand is smooth and clean beneath our feet taking root in fleeing ground, all former footprints erased...
Laura breathed softly with her dry throat, her voice barely emerging: "Julia..."
-"Julia! The bus is coming". She didn’t want to spoil this moment when she too suffered the effect of this gust.
Julia asked the boy-who-asked-too-many-questions timidly:
-Will you be there tomorrow?
-Yes, some noon I have more time.
-Will you be a lover?
-Yes, until you tell me to stop.
She smiled. I have to go home now.
She left, he left, noon left, the bus arrived. The students left, one o’clock arrived. But it wasn’t the following noon. Then two o’clock arrived, and still no noon. School arrived and left too, then night arrived and the Earth turned. Everything turned normally, except the boy’s mind. He had remained at noon on the sidewalk, on his sand. Everything passed under his feet, cleaned by the wave.
Night.
It was a calm night, nothing extraordinary compared to other nights.
The boy who asked too many questions slept admirably well. He went to bed around ten o’clock and enjoyed deep sleep until midnight! Excellent rest, no?
Then some unimportant reveries crossed his mind, trifles concerning the past noon. He barely paid attention to them and fell back asleep immediately-well, almost-at two in the morning.
He then slept straight through until three o’clock... There, he woke just for a second, time to check the hour, and closed his eyes immediately.
At five o’clock, he reopened his eyes, doubtless by habit. A brief moment of floating, totally insignificant, until six o’clock. Then finally, he sank into restorative sleep until seven o’clock.
The night, as for it, was perfectly calm.
Then at last came the hour to leave cheerfully for school. There were some science classes, mathematics, joyous subjects-and finally Noon!
Bell!
It was finally time to change behavior and be a lover. It was even more pleasant than the agreeable morning he had just spent. His friends began pushing chairs under tables in the daily clamor of escape...
He took time to tidy up while concentrating.
He reached the exit gate, walked several meters more. Finally, there it is! The bus station. I just have to reach it. She must be there, perhaps on the other side of the stop.
On the other side, still nothing, yet he was there, on time. It had already been a minute he’d been waiting. He was worried.
He asked questions of the high schoolers she usually addressed informally, but nothing-no information to satisfy his impatience. The second minute was passing.
Have you noticed? These last few minutes are always long! And in this case, they flow as slowly as smooth honey leaving the spoon-a wait "honeyedly long and sweetly good".
Then finally, at the end of the third minute, she arrived. Always magnificent to him, she didn’t dismount from her scooter and shouted: Let’s move forward a bit. The bus will arrive soon! I’m parking farther away.
A single second sufficed for the boy to forget his state. Logic regained the upper hand: All right, I’m coming too!
They stood face to face, touched both hands, no kiss, no embrace, and yet they smiled just to ask how the other was. Simple words, easy to pronounce. Several sentences, all equally light, emerged one after another, all while caressing with their thumbs the skin of the other’s hand. A discussion as if they’d known each other for a long time, as if their relationship dated back ten years.
She sat on the low wall; he followed. She placed her leg across the boy’s thighs and continued:
- You know my friend Lo...
- No
- But yesss, she was there yesterday. Do you remember?
- Oh yes
- You know my friend Lo...
- Yes
- She was there yesterday, and she thinks you’re very strange and that you spoke strangely
- Ah! Yet I was clear
- Yes, but you know, she always uses synonyms when she speaks. That way she wounds less when she tells truths. So, she doesn’t understand how you manage to speak frankly. You know, without using intonation. Me, you know, I make many gestures when I speak with someone I appreciate.
Her eyes opened and narrowed constantly according to the stories and the intensity of the story she told. And indeed, her hands spoke in all directions. They drew many sentences using the wind as support. One wondered when the boy would receive a slap.
He interrupted her:
- And you use your hands so as not to wound?
She stopped an instant to smile, then resumed.
- What are you doing tomorrow afternoon? It’s the weekend. - I’m doing homework and studying.
- Yes, but that you can do in the morning. I’d like to spend time at the park.
- Yes, that’s doable. I’ll just…
- Greeaat! We’ll meet near my place at two o’clock, near the monument to the living!
He was approaching the monument when he saw the scooter from afar. He thought he was late, but no-she was early.
- Get on behind. I have to buy an evening dress!
- But wasn’t the park the plan?
- Yes, yes, but first I’d like you to see me in several dresses!
She started up, then announced:
- We’re going to my place?
- But wasn’t it the shops first?
- Yes, of course, but I’m introducing you to my mother first.
So they went to her place first, before first.
Julia’s mother was tall, dressed chic but welcoming. They were in the living room.
- Look, this is the boy who’s accompanying me!
- Good day, young man. It appears you speak very little
- Yes, I say the essential in few words
- Then how can one converse with you if you speak little?
- I converse very little in order to summarize
- Ah! It will be difficult to invite you to lunch
- Do you often lunch while speaking a great deal?
The mother no longer knew how to continue the discussion to better know the young man.
Julia exclaimed:
- You seeee how he speaks! It’s great!
We’re going now Mom, we’ll come back to leave the dress, then we’re going out to the park!
She started up and forbade the boy from pressing against her, but he could hold her by the hip if only it were necessary.
At the store, she tried on a beautiful red dress, then pink, then green. All clashed with her; something new was always missing. She visited a few boutiques in little time, then stopped before a blue dress, tried it on, and by magic it fit her personality perfectly. She twirled once or twice before the boy, all amazed to see grace and beauty surge from Julia. As for her, she felt another sentiment appear in him. He was smiling.
And this didn’t go unnoticed. Julia understood quickly. She analyzed everything in everyone, but more than that-before any analysis even-she sensed the change in behavior. It was her sixth sense.
They left the package at her place and went out immediately.
At the park, they walked side by side without touching, traversing sometimes curious discussions:
- It would be good if you met Lo. She’s a very interesting girl
- She’s your friend. I don’t know her yet
- You knew me when we didn’t speak to each other
- Yes, but with you I have another project, and she’s another girl
- Well, you could be her friend like she is to me
- No. In ‘When Harry Met Sally,’ Ephron demonstrates that friendship is impossible between a girl and a boy
- Yes, in that film we also see other couples, and the boundary is clear between them. Then you ignore a very important point, but in my turn, I don’t know if I should tell you.
- Do you think I wouldn’t understand, or that your explanation would wound me?
- Yes, on both points
- Then do as Laura does-use synonyms
- I’m not like you. I can’t mentally copy another way of thinking
- You mean not everyone has this capacity?
- No, it’s difficult. You achieve it more easily, but in exchange you lack simpler capacities that many people possess
- Is that what you feared?
- Yes, you got me!
- I know I don’t act normally like others, but I don’t do it on purpose
- Let’s return to the film... It’s made for the great majority of beings in this world. You imagine if everyone spoke like you-well, we’ll never laugh on this earth!
- Ah!... I understand why you feared wounding me
- Oh no no no! I really didn’t mean that-well, not like that. But you see clearly that you’re not normal...
- Yes, I know! There’s no need to repeat it. I told you; I don’t do it on purpose.
Julia was embarrassed. She reflected in her head:
“Oh no! This is no longer a walk. It’s turning into a nightmare. How will I salvage all this! He’s not saying anything anymore. Plus, he’s not walking now! If I reason with him, he’ll get more upset.”
She courageously laid down her bet:
- You’re different, it’s true, but you’re what I preferred from the first day.
He pondered a few seconds and calmed down, then his gaze turned toward the ants near their feet:
- Look. You see this ant? It went to find help to carry the crumb, and a bigger one arrived.
He understood the girl’s desire for appeasement, and instead of producing a new explanation, he saluted Julia’s effort with a simple gesture.
A white four-legged bench found itself alone, without occupant, just there, beside the entomological spectacle. Why not mount its back?
They spent several minutes seated thus without saying anything before resuming their walk. They took a few serene steps, then found another bench. Julia stretched out, placing her head on the boy’s thighs. He was smiling again, cheerful since seeing the blue dress.
- Say... You’ve been smiling since you saw my dress. Have you noticed?
- Yes, I’m replaying that moment in a loop.
- Why?
- I’m going to learn this behavior. It makes me joyful
Julia placed her hand on the boy’s cheek and described slowl:
- That’s not a behavior. It’s called ’a feeling
This one is named passion...
