Ch1-1: My Little Willy
"Oh no—there’s a little willy down there!"
What the heck? A tiny elephant trunk—floppy and pathetic—just dangled between my legs.
It’s been one month since my reincarnation. The moment my newborn eyes finally focused on my crotch, this is what I saw.
I even looked twice, convinced it had to be a glitch in my vision.
Unbelievable! Reincarnation is wild enough—couldn’t you at least let me keep my original gender? Seriously, God!
What do I do with this frustration? I’ve have to scream.
"God, you jerk!"
…Except I’m a baby. I can’t talk yet.
"Ah-ah… uu… eh…"
The sound that leaks out is cute, not shocked or powerful at all. Great—can’t even scream properly.
Sigh.
Apparently babies can sigh—news flash. But a sighing infant? Probably not that adorable.
Back in my old life I was a plain science girl. Now that I’m reborn, maybe I can finally be cute.
Wait—scratch that. I’m a boy now. Should I aim to be an adorably handsome boy instead? …Yeah, let’s go with that.
A lone star—bright as a full moon, smack in the midday sky—hovered outside the window.
Figment or not, I fire my wish straight at it.
"Please, let my new face be super cute."
***
My last clear memory is from about a month ago. I was a teacher at an agricultural high school, chaperoning a field trip at a local farm.
Our school was essentially an exploitative workplace—chronically underfunded, understaffed, and drowning in overtime.
Looking back, letting a single twenty-something teacher wrangle an entire class off-campus was a recipe for disaster, but there simply weren’t enough bodies.
"Ms. Toudo, I’m sure you can handle it,"
the vice-principal said, oily smile plastered on.
I kept my own smile just as fake.
"Actually, I’d feel a lot safer if you helped chaperone, sir."
"No, no, no," he waved both hands. "I’ve got mountains of paperwork waiting. Impossible, really."
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
He flicked his eyes toward the paperwork—an Everest of forms towering on his desk, then added,
"Tell you what—when you get back from the trip, maybe you could lend me a hand with—"
"Great! Off we go then!" I cut him off and bolted for the classroom. Paperwork could rot; babysitting teenagers outdoors sounded far better.
***
Under the mild May sun, my students and I picnicked on a velvety pasture.
Lunch was over, and everyone was lazing around, watching the grazing horses chew contentedly.
I let my gaze drift—pastoral paradise. I thought.
Fed and happy, the kids scattered into little pockets of downtime.
"Hey! Don’t go over there!"
Two love-struck students—lost in their own world—were drifting straight toward the horses. Worse, they were about to walk behind one.
"Stop! Freeze!"
I shouted while sprinting, but the pair didn’t so much as flinch.
Horses see almost everything except the blind spot directly behind them; enter that zone and they spook hard.
"Never stand behind a horse—!"
The ground was uneven, and I wasn’t as fast as I’d hoped.
Just before the lovebirds reached the danger zone, I caught up and slipped between them and the animal.
A shrill whinny split the air. The horse had noticed us.
"Ms. Toudo! Watch out!" "Behind you!"
My students’ screams made me whirl.
A rear hoof, iron horseshoes glinting, was already arcing up—eye-level, slow motion, aimed straight at me.
The last thing I ever saw in that life was the underside of a horse’s hoof, rimmed in cold steel.
***
I didn’t even have time to feel the pain—my next life booted up instantly. Cry, get nursed, sleep—repeat. That’s been the loop ever since.
I still have a laundry list of regrets from the old world. Thinking about it now, the horse probably kicked because of my shout, not the lovebirds’ flirting. Yell in a horse’s ear, expect a hoof to the face—fair enough.
As an old Edo-period Japanese saying goes, "Block a couple’s path and a horse will kick you to death."
I can already see the clickbait headline back home: "Obscure Edo proverb comes true in real life." I wasn’t even trying to play romance police!
Still, who knew my way of dying would become the biggest punch line of my entire life?
I wince at the mental picture of Mom, Dad, and my big sis gathered around my casket, guilt knifing straight through me.
I’m so, so sorry.
While I’m drowning in guilt, a tidal wave of sleep crashes over me. Well, sleeping is a baby’s full-time job, right? I let the drowsiness take me.
(Good night.)
***
Turns out reincarnation comes with patch notes—starting with gender swap and zero magic. What’s next?
***
Cast
• Akari Toudo (29) — former agricultural-high-school teacher in her past life
