My suicide note

You probably don’t know me.

Hell sometimes i dont know myself as well.

If you are reading it. I have probably already decided my own fate.

You read the name of the book. you have probably seen the chapter order.

You know I am bullshiting. I didnt actualy kill myself.

But. You had your doubts. Didn’t you.

I tried it once. But to call it a ‘suicide attempt’ would be an act of laughing in front of people who actually did try it.

I won’t go into detail. But it ended with nothing even happening.

But I think about it. What would happen if it did work?

What would happen if those meds did actually fuck me up.

If I ended up as. No one at the end of the day.

Just another statistic in “teen suicide rate”

Just another “child” being grieved by their family.

A poor young soul lost in this large. Cruel world. I should be happy that it didn’t happen.

Yet sometimes i still go back and wonder.

If i gone out just like that. Unofficially. Without any notes or warnings.

Without any “i am sorry dad.” sticky notes on the fridge.

to whoever is reading this. No matter what spot you find yourself in. You’ll be fine.

Life will move no matter if you are standing or running. Its okay to take a break.

But what isn’t okay is to try and stop your life. By stopping the beating of your heart.

There are people that care about you. You have yourself.

There’s always a part of you that wants the best for you. So why don’t you listen to it for once. Why won’t you stop thinking of yourself as a lone soul. And reach out a hand to your own self. Because if there’s a person that cares about you more than anyone.

It’s you.

This story is not meant to encourage or discourage you. Its just meant to show you.

I won’t hurt you. I promise.