Chapter 1 Reckoning
MATTEO - Monday, 8:47 AM - Outside Dean Morrison's Office
Matteo and Jax sat in the uncomfortable chairs outside Dean Morrison's office, not touching but close enough that their shoulders almost brushed. The administrative assistant kept glancing at them over her computer screen, her expression unreadable.
Matteo had barely slept. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the headlines, the comments, the hate messages that had flooded his inbox throughout the night. His phone had died around 3 AM from the sheer volume of notifications, and he'd let it stay dead until this morning.
Jax looked worse. Dark circles under his eyes, his jaw tight with tension. He'd shown up at Matteo's apartment at 6 AM with coffee and terror in his eyes.
"What if they expel us?" Jax had whispered.
"Then we deal with it," Matteo had said, with more confidence than he felt.
Now, sitting here, that confidence was evaporating.
The door opened. Dean Morrison stood there in his expensive suit, his face carefully neutral. "Gentlemen. Please come in."
They stood together, and Matteo felt Jax's hand brush against his—seeking comfort, finding it.
The office was exactly what you'd expect from a man who'd built his career on appearances: dark wood, leather chairs, diplomas and awards covering every wall. A photo of Caroline sat on the corner of his desk, smiling in her graduation robes.
Matteo's stomach churned.
"Sit," Dean Morrison said, not unkindly.
They sat.
Dean Morrison settled behind his desk, steepling his fingers. For a long moment, he just looked at them. Studying them. Evaluating.
"Well," he said finally. "You two certainly know how to make an impression."
Neither of them spoke.
"I've spent the last eighteen hours fielding calls from the press, the board of trustees, alumni, parents, and—" He paused. "—my d."
Jax flinched.
"How is Caroline?" The words came out before Matteo could stop them.
Dean Morrison's expression softened slightly. "Hurt. Angry. But she'll survive. She's stronger than people give her credit for." He turned his attention to Jax. "She also told me to tell you that she doesn't want you expelled. Her words were: 'He's an asshole, but he doesn't deserve to have his life ruined.'"
Jax's eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry. I'm so—"
"Save it." Dean Morrison held up a hand. "Apologies don't change what happened. But I appreciate that my daughter is mature enough to separate her personal feelings from what's right."
He opened a folder on his desk.
"Let's address the elephant in the room. Mr. Rossi, you assaulted Mr. Whitmore in November. You were suspended. Mr. Whitmore, your father attempted to have Mr. Rossi expelled, but withdrew the complaint." He looked up. "I'm assuming there's more to that story?"
"Yes, sir," Jax said quietly.
"Care to elaborate?"
Jax took a breath. "My father was using threats against Matteo's scholarship to control my behavior. He didn't want me to be gay. He thought forcing me into an engagement and threatening Matteo would make me—" His voice cracked. "—make me straight. Or at least make me hide."
Dean Morrison's eyebrows rose. "I see. And the assault?"
"I provoked him," Jax said firmly. "I was cruel. I said terrible things. I deserved what I got."
"No one deserves violence, Mr. Whitmore." Dean Morrison turned to Matteo. "Mr. Rossi?"
Matteo met his eyes. "I shouldn't have hit him. I was angry and hurt and I lost control. It won't happen again."
"I certainly hope not." Dean Morrison closed the folder. "Here's where we stand. Normally, a public display like Saturday night would warrant a formal investigation. Questions about appropriate conduct, whether this violated any university policies, whether athletic scholarships should be impacted."
Matteo's hands clenched on the arms of his chair.
"However," Dean Morrison continued, "after consulting with the board, we've decided that what happened was, ultimately, a personal matter. Two consenting adults in a relationship. Nothing illegal. Nothing that actually violates university code." He paused. "Though Mr. Whitmore's method of declaration was... unorthodox."
"That's putting it mildly," Jax muttered.
"Indeed." The hint of a smile crossed Dean Morrison's face, then disappeared. "But we do have a problem. The media attention. The press camped outside campus. The disruption to other students. The—" He pulled out a tabloid with their faces on the cover. "—spectacle."
The headline read: "COLLEGE SPORTS' HOTTEST ROMANCE: Inside the Secret Love Affair That Shocked the Nation."
Matteo wanted to die.
"We need to manage this," Dean Morrison said. "The university's PR team has prepared a statement. You're both welcome to review it, make changes. We're also recommending that you refrain from speaking to the press without legal counsel present."
"Are we in trouble?" Matteo asked bluntly.
"No. You're in a complicated situation that requires careful navigation." Dean Morrison leaned forward. "Gentlemen, whether you intended to or not, you've become the face of LGBTQ athletes in collegiate sports. That comes with pressure. Scrutiny. Expectations. Are you prepared for that?"
"I don't know," Jax admitted. "But we don't really have a choice now, do we?"
"No. You don't." Dean Morrison's expression turned almost sympathetic. "My advice? Get a lawyer. Get a publicist if you can afford one. And most importantly—" He looked between them. "—decide right now if this relationship is worth fighting for. Because it's going to get harder before it gets easier."
"It's worth it," Jax said immediately, at the same time Matteo said, "We're not backing down."
They looked at each other, and despite everything, Matteo felt a smile tug at his lips.
"Good." Dean Morrison stood. "Because the NCAA wants to meet with you both on Wednesday. There's talk of using your situation as a case study for updating policies on LGBTQ athletes. You'll be setting precedents whether you want to or not."
He walked them to the door, then paused.
"For what it's worth?" He looked at Jax. "I'm sorry my daughter got caught in the crossfire. But I'm not sorry you're living honestly. My younger brother was gay. Died in 1993 because he was too afraid to tell anyone he was sick. Too ashamed to get help." His voice roughened. "So no, I'm not going to punish you for having the courage he never had."
Jax's throat worked. "Thank you, sir."
"Don't thank me. Just—" He opened the door. "—be careful. The world isn't always kind to people like you. And it's about to get very loud."
JAX - Monday, 10:23 AM - Athletic Center
They'd barely made it out of the administration building when Jax's phone rang.
Unknown number. He answered anyway. "Hello?"
"Jackson Whitmore?" A woman's voice, crisp and professional. "This is Amanda Zhou from the Human Rights Campaign. We'd love to discuss having you and Mr. Rossi speak at our upcoming gala—"
He hung up.
It rang again immediately. Different number.
"Mr. Whitmore, this is Brad Chen from Nike. We're very interested in discussing endorsement opportunities—"
Hung up again.
"Jesus Christ," Jax breathed.
"Turn it off," Matteo said. "Just turn it off."
But Jax was staring at his screen. The football team group chat had exploded overnight. 247 unread messages. He scrolled through them, his stomach sinking with each line:
Tyler: this is so fucked up
Connor: how are we supposed to shower with him now?
Devon: dude relax it's not like that
Connor: how do you know? maybe he's been checking us out this whole time
Brandon: Connor shut the fuck up
Tyler: I'm just saying it's weird okay? Like we thought he was normal and now
Carter: what the fuck does "normal" mean Tyler?
Tyler: you know what I mean
Brandon: no we don't. say it with your chest if you're gonna be a homophobe
Connor: I'm not homophobic I just don't want a gay guy in the locker room
Carter: then don't fucking look at him
Tyler: why are you defending him so hard Carter?
Connor: yeah it's sus
Carter: because he's our fucking captain and our brother and if you have a problem with him being gay you can quit the team
The argument continued, getting uglier. More players joining in. The team splitting down the middle.
"Jax." Matteo's voice pulled him back. "Whatever it says, don't—"
"Half my team thinks I'm a predator," Jax said flatly. "They think I've been checking them out in the locker room. They're calling Carter 'sus' for defending me."
"Fuck them."
"That's easy for you to say. Your team supported you immediately." Jax's voice rose. "My team is falling apart. My father's law firm is probably going to drop him. Caroline's family is furious. My entire life is—"
"Jax." Matteo grabbed his face, forcing him to focus. "Breathe. Just breathe."
Jax tried. Failed. Tried again.
"You knew this would be hard," Matteo said gently. "We both did."
"Knowing and living it are different things."
"I know." Matteo's thumbs brushed across his cheekbones. "But we're going to survive this. Together. Okay?"
Before Jax could respond, a voice called out: "Whitmore!"
They turned.
Coach Harrison stood at the entrance to the athletic center, his face unreadable. "My office. Now. Rossi, you can wait in the lobby."
Matteo squeezed Jax's hand once, then let go.
Jax followed his coach inside, his heart hammering.
MATTEO - Monday, 10:47 AM - Athletic Center Lobby
Matteo sat in the hard plastic chair, his leg bouncing anxiously. Through the glass walls, he could see other students staring at him. Whispering. Some smiled. Others looked disgusted.
He pulled out his phone—now charged—and immediately regretted it.
His Instagram had gained 100,000 followers overnight. His Twitter mentions were a nightmare. But it was the emails that really got him.
From:[email protected] Subject: Potential Opportunities
From: [email protected] Subject: Would you speak at our event?
And then, buried among the business inquiries:
From: [email protected] Subject: Disgrace
Matteo,
Your mother called me crying. Do you know what you've done to this family? Flaunting your lifestyle on television like some kind of—
He deleted it without reading further.
But there were others. Cousins. Old family friends. People from his hometown sending messages ranging from supportive to venomous.
His phone rang. Mom.
He answered. "Hey—"
"Figlio." His mother's voice was thick with tears. "Are you okay? I saw the news. Everyone's calling. Your Zio is saying terrible things—"
"I'm fine, Mama."
"You don't sound fine. You sound—" She took a shaky breath. "This is what you wanted? This attention? This chaos?"
"No. But it's what happened." Matteo's throat tightened. "I love him, Mama. I love Jax. And he loves me enough to risk everything. I can't—I won't apologize for that."
Silence.
Then: "Your father wants to talk to you."
"Mama—"
But his father was already on the line. "Matteo."
"Dad."
"You made your choice." His father's voice was cold. "Now you live with it. But don't expect us to celebrate this—this spectacle. Don't expect us to—"
"I don't expect anything from you," Matteo cut him off, his voice steady despite the pain. "I never have. I've known since I was sixteen that you'd never accept me. So this? This changes nothing between us."
"You're breaking your mother's heart."
"No, you're breaking her heart by making her choose between her religion and her son." Matteo stood up, unable to sit still. "I'm not asking for your approval, Papa. I'm just asking you not to make this harder than it already is."
"Then you shouldn't have made it public—"
"Jax made it public. Because he loves me. Because he's braver than you'll ever be." Matteo's voice hardened. "Now I have to go. Tell Mama I love her."
He hung up before his father could respond.
His hands were shaking. His eyes were burning. But he didn't have time to fall apart because the door to Coach Harrison's office opened.
Jax stepped out, his face pale.
Matteo stood. "What happened?"
"I'm suspended from the team," Jax said quietly. "Pending an internal investigation."
"What? They can't—"
"They can. They are." Jax's laugh was hollow. "Coach says it's temporary. Just until they 'assess the situation' and make sure the team environment is safe and comfortable for everyone."
"That's bullshit—"
"That's reality." Jax walked past him toward the exit. "Come on. We need to get out of here before someone else decides our lives aren't complicated enough."
JAX - Monday, 12:15 PM - Jax's Penthouse
They made it back to Jax's place without incident, though Matteo had spotted at least three people filming them on their phones.
The moment the door closed, Jax sank onto his couch and put his head in his hands.
"Talk to me," Matteo said, sitting beside him.
"Coach says the team is divided. Some guys refuse to dress in the same locker room as me. Others are threatening to quit if I'm removed as captain." Jax's voice was muffled. "So they're suspending me until they can 'mediate' the situation."
"How long?"
"Could be a week. Could be the rest of the season." Jax looked up, his eyes red. "And if they decide the team can't function with me there? I'm done. My football career is over."
"That's not going to happen—"
"You don't know that." Jax stood abruptly, pacing. "You don't know what's going to happen. None of us do. The NCAA could decide we're a liability. The university could decide the PR nightmare isn't worth it. Our scholarships could be revoked. We could—"
"Jax." Matteo stood, catching his arm. "Stop spiraling."
"How can I not spiral?" Jax's voice broke. "I just blew up both our lives. Your dad won't talk to you. My team doesn't want me. We're under investigation by the NCAA. And for what? For a fucking kiss on the ice?"
"For being honest," Matteo corrected. "For choosing love over fear. For—"
"Maybe I shouldn't have." The words came out strangled. "Maybe I should have just stayed in the closet. Married Caroline. Let you move on. Then none of this would be happening. You'd still have your family. I'd still have my team. We'd both be—"
"Miserable," Matteo finished. "We'd be fucking miserable, Jax."
"At least we'd be safe."
"Would we?" Matteo stepped closer. "Would you really be safe spending the rest of your life pretending to be someone you're not? Would that be living, or would that just be a different kind of dying?"
Jax's face crumpled.
Matteo pulled him close, and Jax collapsed against him, his shoulders shaking with sobs he'd been holding back since Saturday night.
"I'm scared," Jax whispered into Matteo's shoulder. "I'm so fucking scared."
"I know. Me too." Matteo held him tighter. "But we're going to get through this. Together."
"You keep saying that."
"Because it's true." Matteo pulled back just enough to look at Jax's face. "I love you. That doesn't change based on how hard this gets. And yeah, it's going to get harder. The NCAA meeting. The press. Our families. All of it. But Jax—" He cupped Jax's face in his hands. "I would rather fight this battle with you than have peace without you. Do you understand?"
Jax nodded, unable to speak.
They stood there in the middle of the living room, holding each other like the world was ending.
Because in some ways, it was.
The life they'd known—the comfortable lies, the careful secrets, the safety of hiding—that was over. Gone. Burned to ash by a single impulsive kiss.
What came next was uncertain. Terrifying. Full of landmines they couldn't predict.
But they had each other.
And right now, in this moment, that would have to be enough.
Jax's phone buzzed. Then Matteo's. Then Jax's again.
They ignored them all.
Outside, the world kept spinning. The press kept calling. The internet kept arguing. The future kept rushing toward them like a freight train.
But inside Jax's penthouse, they just held each other.
And tried to believe that love really could be enough.
Even when everything else was falling apart.
