Chapter 1 - Online
Hi, there!
As usual, this is a slow burn story with a happy ending.
Have fun :)
A long time ago…
NICKYBOY011201: Clem, please let me know when you’re online, please? I need to speak to you❤️
Nicholas kept looking at his screen, but that day he never got an answer. He barely slept, worried. He’d sent his message because it was the truth, he really needed to speak with Clementine, for two very good reasons.
First, the comfort of speaking to a friend, after what happened at school. A few girls from his class, who, he thought, tolerated him enough to leave him alone, suddenly started during lunch break to make nasty stage-whispered comments about him reading while eating his sandwich, at his lonely table, as usual. Nicholas was very good at ignoring piques and comments, but the last group’s giggle after Amanda’s snark, “God, don’t you hate nerds?”, and, what’s-her-face, oh yeah, Pearl’s answer, “No, actually I don’t, I pity them”, it… It got to him.
Nicholas was used to some piques and scoffing in his vicinity. At almost eighteen (in two days), it was the only reaction he ever received from other kids, on the rare occasions that they acknowledged his presence. Growing up in a small town had the inconvenience of knowing and following the same children all your school life, and as such, Nicholas’ classmates were the same, more or less, than they were since the day he started school.
Although finding himself average at the edge of ugly and stupid, Nicholas was nothing of the kind. But his soulful whisky brown eyes, his dark wavy hair made him feel below standard compared to the popular boys, and his horrendous shyness and social awkwardness made him speak slowly, and as little as possible. Therefore, many people, including most of his teachers, thought he was kinda stupid. He was lucky enough not to be really bullied by anyone, mostly, he was... ignored.
Teachers had given up on making him speak publicly or participate in sports a long time ago, probably more out of pity than anything else. Frozen, he was unable to utter a word, and no one ever wanted him in their team for whatever activity or project they had to shoulder in duos or groups.
Nicholas hated feeling invisible, but still appreciated the fact that he wasn’t bullied. Until today, that is. He didn’t know why Pearl’s and Amanda’s retorts had hurt him that much, but it had. Luckily for him, he had one friend. A girlfriend, even, Clementine.
Last year, all the kids in his class were buzzing about Facebook, and about a game they were all playing on the Internet, and he got curious. Of course, he didn’t approach them, but quietly asked his father for his old computer once at home, and lost no time to install it in his too large room. He quickly found the game, made a Facebook account, under the nickname of NICKYBOY011201, not to be recognised by any classmate, started to play, and read the Facebook comments to understand the game better.
He hit a snag quite quickly, couldn’t find his way, and, encouraged by the anonymity of his nickname, he wrote his very first question in the Facebook group, with shaking hands. He got a few kind reactions quickly. Among them, one, Clementine, answered sweetly with an offer to guide him through his snag, adding a sweet 😘 that made Nicholas’ heart jump a little.
Not letting him the time to answer, Clementine sent him a private message, starting to state all the steps he had to take to get out of where he was in the game. He thanked her, and after a long hesitation, answered her streaks of 😘😘😘 with a short “x”. A very first for a boy who never talked to a girl privately, and absolutely never flirted.
One talk led to another when she messaged him a few days later to ask him if he had been able to move forward in the game. It took him only two days to find the guts to answer her, and they got to talk.
A few weeks later, she sent him a message that changed everything for him. The message said: “I have to tell you something. I really, really like you, and I would like to be your girlfriend. Would you be my boyfriend?”
Nicholas took three days to answer her, pretending to be sick and unable to spend much time on his computer. He never had a girlfriend, what was he supposed to do? Or say? They never met, he had purchased a webcam, but she wasn’t allowed to have one, her parents were strict. She was living in Paris, and there was no way her parents would let her travel alone somewhere, she barely was allowed to go out with her friends. But they talked, a lot, about so many things. He liked her too, although he never thought about her romantically. The only picture he ever saw of her was her profile picture, and she was as beautiful as a model. He was sure she would never say something like that if she had really seen him, but he was still hidden behind a picture he took of his game avatar. But her words were flattering, and she was his only friend… So after long excruciating sweaty consideration, read, ‘let his thoughts rage through his mind day and night, screaming insecurities, versus the desperate need to believe someone would like him fighting against each other until he nearly collapsed from exhaustion’ kind of consideration, he finally answered her. “Yes, I would love to be your boyfriend”.
If she was very often absentminded, during their private talks, if she was, mostly, self-absorbed and more determined to tell him about her life in detail than listening to him, he didn’t mind. He had a girlfriend.
The idea had pushed him to change some things about himself. Going to the hairdresser was one, there was this small barbershop in town where no one his age ever went, and the gent who cut his hair never minded doing his job in utter silence, so there was that. And Nicholas decided he had to be more like the other dudes, who sported muscles and strong arms. He went swimming, every Sunday morning, and hit the gym three evenings a week. He would look decent and strong for his girlfriend. And he did, even though he never saw himself that way. He got broad, large shoulders and strong legs, and made some of his classmates secretly jealous of him.
But now, he had a surprise for Clem, and couldn’t wait to tell her.
He still had to, though. After two days staying unanswered, she finally came online, and without giving him any explanation or excuses about her absence, simply asked him. “What’s up, then?”
Okay, here goes nothing, though Nicholas, before stretching his hands.
NICKYBOY011201: Ok, I told you I wanted to study informatics and software development, right?
CLEM2005: Yeah you did
NICKYBOY011201: So… My parents just told me they were increasing my allowance, because I’m eighteen today. Which means I’m able to travel and do what I want now without their authorization.
CLEM2005 : Right, like it’s going to make a difference
Nicholas ignored the jab for now, she wasn’t wrong anyway. His parents were, at best, fully ignorant of his existence.
NICKYBOY011201 : So, there is this uni in Paris with great courses on informatics. I’ll graduate in two months, considering my grades, it’s already a given. I was able to subscribe to this uni already, they just asked for a copy of my grades and allowed me to. I already applied for a room or a studio on campus, but they need my signature on both things, so…
CLEM2005: What are you saying?
A little taken aback by the question, Nicholas thought it was pretty obvious what he was getting at, and he had hoped for a more enthusiastic first reaction, he typed on.
NICKYBOY011201: I booked a train for Friday, and a hotel for two nights. I’ll be in Paris Friday afternoon at around two o’clock. I’ll have to go to Uni before five to sign the papers for the courses and the room, and I’ll stay there until Sunday. So we will be able to see each other! I get that your parents can’t let you travel, I mean, you’re not eighteen for another year almost, but we could see each other a few times during the weekend, right?
CLEM2005:
NICKYBOY011201: Clem, you there?
Nicholas was giddy, and nauseous at the same time. Giddy because he would finally be able to see his beautiful girlfriend for the first time. But travelling alone for the first time, taking all these steps alone, with no one to guide him, or help him, along with the prospect of finding his way in fucking Paris by himself was scaring him shitless. He would never tell her that, but he puked his guts out this morning when he came back from the train station where he paid for his ticket, and it took him five attempts to be able to phone the hotel to book a room.
He wiped his shaky sweaty hands on his pants again, and waited for Clementine to answer him. He thought she’d be joyous by now, she was generally quite cheery, but after a long while, her answers came up short, and cut.
CLEM2005 : Nicky, there’s no way my parents will allow me to see you
NICKYBOY011201 : No, I get that, but you told me you were going to do some shopping with your girlfriends on Saturday, and that you were going for coffee on Friday after school. Surely I can join you for coffee and maybe find you before or after your shopping?
CLEM2005: Maybe, I’ll have to see
NICKYBOY011201 : Come on, Clem, it’s our chance! How long are we now saying we want to meet for real?
CLEM2005 : Yeah, you’re right. I’ll send you the address for a café not too far from my school. I have to go now, my mom wants me to cook with her, talk to you later
Nerves and joy equally raging their way through his frantic mind and racing heartbeat, Nicholas never realised that for the first time since they started to talk, she didn’t end their conversation with her usual 😘.
And despite her knowing it already, and Nicholas reminding her he turned eighteen today, she never wished him a happy birthday.
