Amazing

"This is a whirlwind! Up and down from an andaventure to romance, friendship, class struggle and deliverance, challenge and faith in one another. It's really a good book, lively and light for the most part, but sometimes you get that deeper meaning thrown in that makes you reflect about life itself while you follow the adventures of this unlikely adventurers. A good read, I would recommend it."

Interesting storyline

"First of all, I really enjoyed the characters. The character development is well done, and I like how we continually see more and more of the character's personalities. The guys are fun to observe in their brother-like attitudes toward one another and their playfulness. I especially like Claus and found myself almost wanting him and Rebecca to gravitate more toward one another than even Ink. Claus was just easy for me to like. The adventure aspect of the story was also fun, and I enjoyed the author's world-building as she explained the various groups of people and creatures that inhabit the world. I also enjoyed a glimpse into Prince Hanariel's world and the understanding of what happened with the volcanic eruption. The plot is an interesting thing to consider, and it was difficult and enlightening to observe the class differences - I think the author did a good job of bringing that dynamic to life and allowing the audience to feel as they should for the poor of Maskerville. There is some grammar to clean up (and tense changes), but nothing that can't be fixed once you move into a few rounds of editing. Overall, I really enjoyed this story and look forward to seeing what happens next! Where the story currently ends is a real cliffhanger!! Great work!"

Can't wait to read more!

"While I read, I did notice that there were some issues with tenses and the use of proper pronouns. Nothing there that couldn't be cleaned up with a good grammar checking program. I thoroughly enjoyed the world building. The idea of using the masks to denote the classes was something I haven't seen before. I also like the idea of the mark on the forehead that shows them as ghouls to other people. It is a bit reminiscent of the mark of Cain in the Bible, but not overtly religious. I've just read where the Elf king is forcing them to participate in the games when the request for a review came up. I can't wait to read more! I've read from the beginning in one sitting, the story itself is riveting. I think you have something really good here. I don't know how I stumbled on this page or why I happened on your story, but I hope you do publish it. I also hope there are many more follow up works in the pipeline."

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I'll add more to this as a I read more

"I write reviews chapter by chapter for longer works like yours, and it also means I can provide more detailed critiques. CHAPTER 1 I'm really liking what you have so far! You display a clear amount of writing skill, it flows really nicely, and the world you've created sounds really original and interesting. (They sound like really clichéd comments, hahah! It's true though). The first line in particular was actually one of the best first lines I've read in a while, even if it maybe was a bit too long, and that's really the only criticism I have. Anyway, sorry I couldn't be of more help! I look forward to reading more of your story. :) CHAPTER 2 I might as well give you all of the notes I made in one hit! - I would take the word 'puzzled' out of the opening sentence, we can kind of gather that Ink is puzzled from his sentence. - Tense error: 'she is holding'. - 'The only blessing you'll get by going here...' - LOL! - Tense error: 'as she swallowed a mouthful of her saliva' - I loved the paragraph beginning 'People who barely have enough food'. - 'One thing, and then two and then three and not for long it'll be too many to count' - I like this! - 'Excuse me, she replied. appalled' - again, you don't need to mention how appalled Rebecca is, we can gather this from what she says without the need for the telling. - I've notice you actually have really rather good dialogue; it sounds realistic and flows beautifully. - 'Eris!!!' - don't worry about using three exclamation marks, CHAPTER 3 - This is just a little nitpicky thing, but I'd put the poem in italics to ensure it's separated from the rest of the story. That's what's traditionally done in books. - The line beginning 'Behold' has a slightly clumsy metre that doesn't really fit with the rest of the poem. - I liked the way you transitioned from background information to the action of the story. - 'no more than the size of her palm' - do you mean 'no bigger than the size of her palm?' - Grammar error: 'nobody else have it' - 'there was one other family in Maskerville who also had an Etherean lens in their possession' - SPOILER ALERT! XD If I were you, I'd actually hold off this information for now. It makes more of an impact if you don't reveal this till later. - The banter between Rebecca and Ink is so sweet, and it's very realistic. Well done on that! - 'Lord Fillias said, annoyed' I mentioned this earlier, but I don't think you need to reinforce that Lord Filias is annoyed. - 'allow his face to give into pain and contort his face like he can't get enough air' - the repetition of 'his face' makes the sentence sound a little like it doesn't make sense, but I like the description. - The last two paragraphs are gorgeously written. CHAPTER 4 - This was another really nicely written chapter, and I love the way you're bringing in the differences between Ink and Rebecca's characters and exploring the way it shifts the dynamic between them. - I wouldn't say you need to detail why Lord Filias hates dogs, it detracts from the rest of the story. - 'Lord Fillias quite satisfied by how the night turned out' - Why is Ink suddenly shouting at Rebecca? It has no explanation or build up, and it seems irrational. The way he expresses his resentment for the Ethereals is relatable and well presented, but I don't think he has a need to take it out on Rebecca. - Tense error: 'when Rebecca climb his back' - I'd also say that there seems to be a lot of variation in your tone in this chapter. Sometimes the writing is really sophisticated, sometimes it's quite colloquial, and maybe it would be an idea for you to make this a bit more consistent. and 'she meet today' CHAPTER 5 - 'His long hair never moving out of place' - I'm not sure a continuous verb works too well as the only verb in the sentence. I'd attach this onto the sentence before it. - 'held unto the animal' - do you mean 'held ONTO the animal'? - Tense error: 'He would sprung from one branch to another' - 'The prince was simply having to much fun that he didn't even notice the white-ash rich pumice falling from the sky like snow' - this is a slightly clumsy sentence. I'd recommend rephrasing it to 'the prince was simply having too much fun to notice the white ash...' - Tense error: 'he's starting to get more anxious' - 'It wasn't dragging its limbs - it was being dragged' - I really like the ideas of contrast in this line. - 'their mangled child' - a) I'm not sure 'mangled' is quite the right word, and b) I think 'child' should be 'children'. - 'The volcano was like a ticking time bomb' - could you express this a different way? It sounds a little clichéd. CHAPTER 6 - 'they should be called Masker-villains' - nice! I like this little observation. - 'It lived a very lonely life - solitary life' - I would only use one adjective for the creature's life, otherwise you're saying the same thing twice with different wording. - Grammar error: 'he manage' - He already had enough bottled anger and distress and distrust to the whole world' - nice!"

Inspiring creativity

"In this story, the author has created an intriguing and compelling culture. I fell into the backstory and loved the world's history and legends. The heroes are wonderful character foils, giving you a full view of how the society has ordered itself. They were also well crafted and I felt I knew them within the first two chapters, which is always a good sign. There were some issues with past tense and present tense: the narrative often switched between the two. It didn't detract too much from the flow. But it would just be a good idea to correct it to avoid confusion. I really want to know more about the world you've created!"

Maskerville Forever?

"The townspeople of Maskerville wear masks in public: symbolic of social stratification which becomes the catalyst for what happens after Ink deviates from the norm. I almost gave it a 4 star only because the end left me hanging. If there is going to be a sequel, then the end is fine. But if not, I want closure. I’m giving it a 5 because it is entertaining and emits a strong message."

Interesting concept

"Your story is based round the interesting concept of masks and different classes. I love Ink and Rebecca and how different, but how drawn to each other they are. You build a wonderful world and explain it in ways that make the reader see it clearly in their mind. Well done and good luck with your writing"

The Bald Tattooist of Maskerville

"A very interesting, chilling but original world.I like the way you write, it's light and gives the perfect sense of the story."

Ink & Rebecca

"Cool and unique plot. I like how the uglier the exterior mask is, the more beautiful the person underneath is :D I love the dynamic between Ink and Rebecca; jokster vs someone who doesn't even know how to joke. I'm enjoying the writing style but I thought how the characters described themselves mid-dialogue was awkward and weird. Otherwise, can't wait to finish reading it! :)"

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Great world building

"I like the concept of people obligated to wear masks and their masks represent their class status. It's interesting and so are the characters, though I felt like Ink was more of an observer for a majority of the story until the last portion. Titular characters don't always have to be the focus, but I think he's an interesting enough character that should get more more screen time. I noticed that you ended quotes with unnecessary commas, for example: "Really?," she asked wide eyed. There doesn't need to be a comma there, a question mark is enough. This is noticeable through out the story so be careful on how you end dialogue. Overall the story's very creative and I enjoyed reading it."

The Bald Tattooist of Maskerville

"It's an interesting fantasy world, well layered with lots going on. I'm almost halfway, and completely drawn to the relationship between Ink and Rebecca. The back story is built well, and there are enough answered questions that keep you turning the pages. Well done."