Edge of Humanity

It’ s a quarter after one

I’m all alone and I need you now

I said I wouldn’t call,but I lost all control and I need you now.

“Yes, that’s Need You Now from Lady Antebellum. Kinda oldies, huh? Now we-“

I turn off the radio—almost breaking it—and sigh. Well, it is almost a quarter after one, and I am alone, and I need… I sigh again. Memories never easily fade. For me, it’s almost impossible to forget. I open the window so I can feel the cool breeze of night as I keep driving. My eyes can catch every background I pass by. The grass, the dirt, even the cheap advertisements. It’s so silent tonight, I can only hear some crickets beside my car’s engine and the breeze.

I finally find a 24 hour diner and stop by. I still have to drive for two hours anyway. I need a drink, maybe a cup of milk coffee will help. The diner isn’t big, there are only four tables and a counter. “Good evening, sir,” the lady greets me as I step into the diner. There’s only one customer inside. An old man with his sandwich who looks a little lost. Maybe he needs help? He hasn’t touched his food and his coffee is already cold. Does he even have money to pay that sandwich? I sit on the corner as the lady comes towards me, bringing a notebook with her. I can feel her staring at me for two seconds before she finally clears her throat and opens her mouth, “What can I get you, sir?”

“Coffee, please. With milk and some sugar, but not too sweet, please.”

“Sure, right away, sir.”

Nothing seems interesting enough for me to do, so I just stare outside.

The lady comes back in a minute with my coffee. “Here’s your coffee,” she says.

“Thank you,” I force a smile and I can see her blushing. I wonder why I do that to people.

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line

Miles away from those I love

Purpose hard to find

While I recall all the words you spoke to me

Can't help but wish that I was there

Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you

Is to hold her when I'm not around

When I'm much too far away

We all need that person who can be true to you

But I left her when I found her

And now I wish I'd stayed

'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired

I'm missing you again, oh no

Once again

As I sip my coffee, I can’t help noticing the song they offer. The song ends with the same chorus. 'Dear God' by Avenged Sevenfold, as I remember. One of my favorites. There, I give up. I’m just so tired of keeping my barrier up. I close my eyes and let the feelings rush back.

It’s only a terrible lie if they say vampires don’t have feelings. Some of us just can control our feelings better. Well, controlling means covering up. Maybe I am one of them, but it’s just because I don’t want to give myself away again. Because once you let the humanity take over, believe me, it is hard—even impossible—to ignore it. Humanity can be our biggest weakness. We were once human, and our humanity has never gone. It’s still there all the time.