A Night Out
Morgan pulled her roughly from the couch as Tegan attempted to protest. She didn’t want to spend her Saturday night at a lesbian nightclub. She wanted to sit on her couch and blast some Sleep Token in her ears to forget about her ex-girlfriend, Ellie, and the conversation that they had a few days ago that resulted in their untimely break-up. The last few days, she’d been hiding successfully in her apartment, blowing off school and pretending to be sick to get days off of work. It’d been successful, until Morgan showed up.
“As your best friend who cares deeply about your well-being, I can’t see you mope about Ellie anymore,” Morgan said, dragging her from the couch to her bedroom and opening her closet.
Tegan rolled her eyes. “I’m not moping,”
The break-up hurt like hell, and she sucks dealing with any kind of pain, so she finds alternatives to keep her mind occupied. First it was music. Music was her safe space, but if that didn't work, she'd move on to watching a mindless television show. She’d managed to binge the first few seasons of Grey’s Anatomy in the span of eighteen hours. That helped for a while, until Morgan showed up and saw what a mess she was.
Morgan glanced back at her and narrowed her gaze. “Yes, you are.”
Fine, maybe she was moping, but in all fairness, she had every right to mope—she just got dumped from a six year relationship.
She watched Morgan’s light eyes scan her casual dress shirts and picked out one. “Now, wear this with a tank top underneath and your nice dress pants, because whether you like it or not, we are going out tonight, Tegan.”
Indignation filled her as she snatched the shirt out of Morgan’s hands and rummaged around her closet for a white tank top that would match nicely with the black and white floral short-sleeved button-up shirt.
After finding all of the pieces to her outfit, Morgan went into the living room so that Tegan could get dressed. After spraying on her sandalwood cologne and fixing her unkempt short brown hair, Tegan took a final glance over her form and attempted to smile. Even behind the smile, she could see the sadness radiating from her eyes. Her dull grey eyes lost its shine and all that remained was how much of a mess Tegan was underneath.
Ellie was supposed to be the one. They’ve been together since senior year of high school. After many years, Tegan sensed Ellie's unhappiness and the relationship began to slowly decline—and since Ellie moved across the country for college, the long-distance put an immense strain on their relationship as well. At that point, Tegan was the only one pulling her weight, all while Ellie let go of hers, and that left her pulling double to make the relationship work.
When Ellie visited the day of the break-up, on her spring break, Tegan knew right away that something was wrong. Throughout the entire night, Ellie continued to subtly brushed off Tegan's attempts of any type of intimacy of kissing and touching until she finally said that it was time for them to move on, since they were not the same people as they were in high school. Tegan squeezed her eyes tightly shut, briefly remembering the conversation.
Ellie’s words repeated inside of her head: I think we both know that it’s time to end it.
When she’d confided in Morgan about the conversation a few hours afterwards, after her breakdown, Morgan assumed that Ellie probably found someone else at the college she was attending—someone who was local and that she could see everyday.
Tegan could see that happening, since Ellie was a physical person and phone calls every night didn’t suffice, and it had been phone calls the last four years until the holiday’s or breaks from school. But even though she’d admitted to herself that the relationship should have ended years ago, the thought of Ellie finding someone else while they were together managed to sting more than she’d like.
“Are you ready?” Morgan shouted from the living room. Tegan snapped out of her spiraling thoughts, looked over her appearance one last time, and exited the bathroom.
“No, but I’ll try to enjoy the night,” Tegan responded, sighing deeply.
“That’s my girl,” Morgan said as her light eyes washed over her. “Wow, you look hot, Tegan. I’m sure you’ll catch many eyes tonight.”
Tegan shook her head. “It’s too soon to think that way.”
“Oh really?” She placed her hands on her hips. “When was the last time you got laid?”
Tegan tried desperately to block out the memory of sleeping with Ellie a few months ago. She had to force herself not to think about Ellie’s perfect lips or the curve of her naked body. The way Ellie touched her body, kissed her skin, and created waves of ecstasy sent an unexpected shiver down her spine. Another flash of pain assaulted her heart and she took a shaky breath. That must have been goodbye sex because Ellie made no indications of touching her in that type of way again after that.
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, Tegan repeated in her head.
“A few months,” she murmured painfully.
“Tegan, it’s okay if you don’t want to sleep with anyone,” her green eyes glossed over with emotion. “But don’t prevent yourself from finding comfort in another person if the opportunity arises. I'm all for hook-up culture in the right circumstances.”
“I’ve never been the one to sleep with a stranger before,” Tegan admitted shamefully.
“One-night stands can be fun. No baggage or expectations, just pleasure,” Morgan offered a smile. “Now, let’s go drink and dance and get out of this gloomy apartment for a while. The Uber is here.”
Tegan wondered what it would be like to sleep with someone else. Ellie was her first and her last. She realized how pathetic that truly was. Before the single life, she considered herself one of the lucky ones to not have to experience hook-up culture. Now look at her, wondering what it would be like to fuck someone she didn't know. Oh how the tables have turned.
As soon as Tegan saw how many people there were on the dance floor, she’d realized how much of a mistake it was to come. The loud electronic music blared through the building, and she was sure afterwards, she’d experience tinnitus when she’d sleep later on—if she would be able to sleep.
You’re only 25 not 75, you shouldn’t think like that, Tegan thought with an inward eye-roll.
As the building shook from the music, Tegan’s gray eyes scanned the upbeat mass in the middle of the room. The stench of sweat and cheap alcohol filled her nostrils and she grimaced. She’d prefer low-key hangouts with some weed instead of this, but she was only participating for Morgan’s sake. As well as being forced to come since Morgan left her with no room to budge.
Morgan grabbed her arm and pulled her to the bar. Her long blonde hair swayed as she pulled Tegan along, slipping between the crowds of women. For such a short woman, she was sure strong as Tegan’s arm was beginning to hurt from the pressure of her grip. They sat on the barstools and Morgan signaled the bartender, who was an attractive middle-aged woman with long brown hair that framed her round face.
The bartender took one glance at Tegan and her dark eyes danced, then she winked.
“I think she’s into you,” Morgan murmured in her ear.
“No shit.”
“I told you that you’d catch eyes since you’re so damn fine.”
Tegan slapped her arm playfully. “Shut up, Morgan.”
“Too bad I’m straight, or else you’d be coming home with me tonight.”
“Oh my God, you’re too much," Tegan let out a surprised laugh.
Morgan was about to make another retort, but the bartender appeared. “What can I get you ladies?” Although the question was directed to the both of them, the woman’s dark eyes were undressing Tegan. If she definitely felt uncomfortable being gawked at, how was she going to be comfortable sleeping with a stranger?
“I’ll have an espresso martini,” said Morgan, as she drummed her fingers on the counter in excitement.
“And for you?” The woman’s voice came out with a rasp as she maintained eye contact.
“Whiskey sour, thanks.”
“Nothing fruity?” Morgan said disappointedly. “Since you’re fruity, you need a fruity drink.”
“I like whiskey, though,” Tegan laughed again.
For the first time in days, Tegan felt a little bit lighter. She hated to admit when Morgan was right, but she needed to feel normal again. Even if it was a temporary moment.
The bartender walked away with an intended sway of her hips, which Tegan guessed was to get her attention, but she wasn’t interested. Soon enough, two glasses were placed in front of them, and for a moment, Tegan only stared at it. She wasn’t much of a drinker, but alcohol could take away her emotional pain, at least for the moment. Even though a part of her craved to smoke out of her untouched bong at home, weed would've made her anxiety and heartbreak feel worse.
They clinked their drinks together in a silent toast. Tegan instantly made her way down the glass, ignoring the intense burn that saturated her tongue and the back of her throat. As the burn settled in the pit of her stomach, she shivered pleasantly when the glass was empty.
“Slow down, Tegan,” Morgan whispered in her ear. “You got all night to drink.”
But Tegan couldn’t stop herself when the next glass of whiskey came, and soon, she was feeling good and in the mood to dance. She was commonly a lightweight with any substances, and she could feel the buzz of the alcohol coursing through her veins when she stood up. She pulled Morgan off of the barstool, waited patiently as she paid for their drinks, and then followed her onto the dance floor. Tegan caught the disappointment glinting in the bartenders dark eyes as she stared after them.
Before, the electronic music annoyed her, but she found the rhythm of the music and her body moved effortlessly to it. For the first time in days, her mind cleared and she allowed herself to let go of the pain. Ellie’s face and voice drifted to the deepest corners of her mind. Relief settled in finally and she lost herself in the music.
Morgan danced around her as they laughed drunkly at each other. A few random guys came up to Morgan and she began to dance with them, until she was out of sight. Morgan was always sociable at these types of events, so Tegan wasn’t surprised.
When Tegan noticed that Morgan was gone, she slowed her dancing and almost left the dance floor. The alcohol turned sour in her stomach for a short second, but before she made it to an opening, a woman dancing with her group of friends caught her eye.
Curly dark hair that stopped just below her shoulders and radiant tan skin. Her smile was bright, alluring, and as if she felt someone looking at her, her dark eyes swiveled around the room before they landed in Tegan’s direction.
Tegan’s heart was now in her throat as their eyes connected, and her body instantly warmed from the alcohol and something else she wouldn't dare name.
With the woman’s dark eyes watching every move as if she was hypnotized, Tegan began moving her body to the slow rhythm of the current song. She found herself inching closer to the woman, and before she knew it, they were face-to-face and dancing with each other. She had a surge of bravery and reached for the woman’s waist, bringing their hips together as they moved more sensually to the beat. Tegan was taller by a couple of inches and the woman’s dark eyes stared up tauntingly at her. Beautiful.
Is this even real? Tegan asked herself as the woman turned around and pressed her back against Tegan’s front. Her hands instantly went back to the woman’s waist as if it was the most natural thing she’d ever done in her life. Their bodies moved together as one and Tegan’s heart skyrocketed at the physical contact.
The woman's hands roamed in Tegan's hair, pulling in such a delicious way. She leaned further into the woman's touch as her hands made their way down Tegan's face, soft fingers igniting a match on her skin.
Morgan’s voice rang in her mind: No baggage or expectations, just pleasure.
Within a moment of meeting the woman, Tegan understood those words. She wasn’t looking for love or a partner, but if the woman asked her to come home with her tonight, she would say yes without a second thought.
