Freedom Of My Heart

Fantasy of an Impure Soul

With a triumphant heart and an impure soul,

Its heartbeats unsteady yet conscious of their role,

The darkness of its form ethereal but a dreamy haze

You could get lost in its boundless gaze.

It lies weeping, immeasurably constrained

Due to its passion that cannot be contained.

This peculiar soul bears the marks of love

Thoughts slipping from the heavens above

You cannot perceive the nature of its emotion

Yet you feel obliged to indicate your devotion.

You are aware of the danger it professes

And the complicity of its caresses.

Your composed nature contrasts its urgency,

The desperation it carries pleads with fervency.

Have you noticed its watchful eyes

Burdened by their intolerable lies?

Desire for peace has choked its words

They have fled as soundlessly as birds.

Tranquility simmers between you, it is alive with doubt

It’s aware you’re not something it can live without.

The soul must settle with silence

Otherwise it will corrupt your life with violence.

Luminous yet compliant eyes meet your own

Unspoken desires possibly being shown?

You bury the guilt of the knowledge in your own heart

It knows you do not crave to live torn apart.

There lies a hidden truth you do not know,

Unforgiven cruelty mars the soul

With a slow opulence that consumes it whole.

Its gaze speaks: “My darling I have fooled you once more,”

You are bewildered as it leaves you behind your closed door.

Its feigned innocence, as you may discern, is all an act,

The reflection in its mirror is most definitely cracked.

Curiously enough, to almost any man it will submit,

Its presence is fleeting, escaping you before you have time to grasp the meaning of it.

Limerence

My dear, you’re a fool,

Am I a fool?

I have betrayed my sense of liberty

By caging myself to your unreliability.

Have I forged your emotions

As I have demonstrated my own?

Have I finally come undone

All because of the scorching eyes of the sun?

I am no saint, as you are no devil

We are simply two beings, never rebels.

Sadness corrupts our soulless hearts

As dully as the day imparts

The knowledge of our sinful thoughts.

I ache to feel more than I do,

Blinded by the mere sight of you.

Desire for what I have endlessly sought

Has consumed every time I fought.

I believe it is quite subliminal

I want you trap me with your eyes of a criminal

My heart shall not dream to escape,

I will brazenly drown in their shape.

Loss Of Comfort

The crash of thunder,

Our calm before the storm.

I stagger in the room,

My smile melted, wind-blown.

I know nothing as I sit,

You watch me truthfully,

The other gawks with eyebrows knit.

My lips tremble, I dare not speak.

My fear confirmed, the sadness built,

Over time spent with you,

Spoilt by a mistake which could not be overlooked.

The dim light was my only comfort, now I lay

Banished from a place I grew to love,

I have now turned into a caged dove,

My cry for peace unseen, unheard.

Purity

Those pretty eyes,

Those eyes so pure,

They’re nothing like I’ve ever seen before.

How could I walk away?

I would regret that every day.

Two souls meant to be alone,

One although is more prone

To getting their mind messed up by the other,

Can we keep our eyes off each other?

I’m trying to clean all impurity,

It removes this false sense of security.

I have a soul that was once shy,

Purer than the bluest sky.

Now my thoughts are spilling out,

I’m touching the ground, waking my doubt.

You, however, may be sane, your purity still remains,

Surer than any blood in my veins.

When I run out of time, I look at you,

My world brightens, a world once blue.

I can’t get your image out of my head

So I end up crying about you instead.

You’re purer than I’ll ever be,

Which is why I can never be free.

Dead Of A Broken Heart

She loved him true

The fading girl,

Her eternal nightmares

Bringing her home.

She wanted whatever she could get,

Yet he would never sin for debt.

He was a man, lost in her eyes.

She could never even disguise

The love she felt for him was real

Yet to him she never did appeal.

Her fate was corrupted from the start,

Now she lies dead of a broken heart.

Conveying Our Love

The silence of a bird,

Its mute stillness confuses me.

Why were they not given a voice,

Or rather one that we can understand?

I sometimes feel as though I am the bird,

Unable to truly utter a word with meaning.

It could be unnecessary to use thousands of words

When a thought could echo from one soul to another

With a look.

Whether you share a moment of mutual understanding

Or any other of great significance,

Our instincts are worthy of trust

When deciphering the intentions of another.

Birds cannot speak, they are beautiful creatures,

Capable of quietly painting their thoughts

In a way that escapes our simple minds.

We do not share their complicated simplicity…

Unless we fall in love.

Why are most of us afraid to love,

Do we fear our voice might disintegrate and crumble into nothing?

It would be a pity,

Yet why should we require letters joined together,

When our eyes are the mirror others reflect their feelings into

And our voices say what we desire from one another?

Longing For The Forbidden

My bed is a cold cloud that keeps me company.

I sit awake, my thoughts in perfect harmony.

You cross my mind, battling an empty battlefield,

I watch you, unaware of your pain and suffering.

My selfishness corrupts me, I wish to have you

Because you make me happy, unable to live without you.

You appear in my mind, often, many times,

When I am alone, during the summertime.

Your infectious nature, sense of humour,

Have made me look at you, sicker than rumours.

I have strangled some good intentions, wish too much

From you. I know one thing that won’t change: I cannot do anything as such.

My bed could be warmer, no longer miserable company.

That could only happen if you choose to love me back.

Forgive me for my wildness, my lust for someone who isn’t mine.

I will still long for you, always dream of you to be mine.

For now, my bed is and always will be

A cold cloud that weakens with time.

Comfort My Pain

I wonder if you would notice

A single tear running from my eye,

Slipping across my cheek,

A wet stain, a line that could be straight.

Seeping into my skin,

Absorbing the hurt I felt

From one minute to the next.

Would you comfort where there is no hope left?

An empty, blank gaze, turning to meet yours

Lifting up to find you, the only consolation left?

Vacant eyes with only love for you

Painted in stains.

Filling up with a cloudy haze of tears,

Hurt by words spoken in absent-minded cruelty

By those who know nothing.

The Man I Wanted To Fall For

What is love when hope has overwhelmed you?

Who is he, the only man I have ever adored?

What will happen to my life, if I let him take over?

Who is he, a familiar stranger?

Who am I, how can I ever spare him from danger?

The questions are simple, with a complicated answer.

During difficult times, writing helped and saved me.

Who truly loves him, not just for show?

Who is he looking at, when he gazes at the nearby landscape?

Who would want him, if someone desires a beautiful man,

Yet one with the word “liar” written on his forehead?

He walks down with his head bowed,

Walking past people, sometimes noticed.

He appreciates attention from the right people

With souls full of peace, not with a personality

That deafens him, not particularly astounding,

Not too far away.

Forbidden? Seriously, he is right.

He wants more from life, not to be tied down to one woman.

He wants a girl of a fragile age, one like his feelings for her.

He desires her with a subtle passion,

It shines in his eyes when he sees her.

He never touches her, he is afraid,

Who knows why?

Ambivalence

You cannot breathe because I hate you,

I wish I could tell you how I feel but I hate you,

I want you to understand that nothing happens, because I hate you.

We cannot be together, because I hate you,

Nothing more than hate.

How can I hate so deeply, you may wonder?

Well, it’s simple, I hate you.

I hate you because I can,

I hate you because I have no other choice

Otherwise I would feel something else, far more dangerous than what I am allowed to.

So do not breathe, or smile, or smoke, or drink, or eat, or sleep, or blink, or wonder why, all because I hate you and cannot stand to see others feel what I do for you.

I feel so alone without you, but I cannot say anything because I hate you.

Hating you means there is nothing else, nothing that can even aid towards my redemption.

Hating you means I have to feel it with all my heart and soul, never eat, or speak, or drink, or blink, or sleep, or pray, or wonder why, because I have to hate you.

If I don’t I would love you.

How would you know if I don’t love you?

I hate you because I want to love you.

I hate you as I cannot imagine myself loving you when you belong to someone else.

I’m not intelligent enough to love you as you wish, indifferently, like you love others or pretend you do.

I hate you because I love you.

Much more than you can fathom, or wish for.

I love you so much that it leads to hate, and this hate is as superficial as any old lie, as any stupid thing I say to hurt you but do not manage to do so.

I wish to hate you, because I cannot get your attention.

I hate you for what you are to me, someone I have grown to love in such a way that I cannot hate you even if I tried.

I love you so that I can hate you.

I hate you so that I can love you.

And I know it might sound complicated, but it’s true, and it’s a life I lead that is potentially destructive but it does not matter as you may not hate me.

Or you may.

I do not care, simply because...

I love you too much to ever feel like I hate you or even try to.