PRESENT
Chapter One
PRESENT
“Beg, Georgina. I want you to beg.” His dark eyes bore onto her as he spitted venom at her. George’s heart hammered against her chest with known fear that was always there every time he looks at her. He was dangerously close to her that she felt the coldness of his voice that counters the heat radiating from his body. George balled her hands into fists as she fought the quivering of her body. God knows there’s nothing to be feared about the man in front of her but she couldn’t help it with his evident pursuing of lips and clenching of jaw. She watched as his brows furrowed while giving her a cold glare that sent shiver down her spine. “If you want my forgiveness, beg for it.”
He took a step closer, but she took a step back in defense. His lips lined into a smirk no longer foreign to her. A dark, wicked lopsided smile that she had always received from him since she wronged him.
Her back hit the wall and she had nothing else to do but to shut her eyes tight. She made a silent prayer for Taxton not to do anything to her.
“Stop, Tax. Please,” she begged, but she still felt his body just in front of her, his face just near her ear. She released an audible sigh, more like a moan, when his hot breath tickled her earlobe.
“Why would I? You are the one who barged here wanting my forgiveness. You know what I want you to do if you want to be forgiven. I can’t just give that to you easily after all I’ve went through, after all what you’ve done to me.” Taxton‘s voice was raspy and deep but anger was playing with it that it made her want to close her eyes tighter. George went tensed as his fingers caressed her cheek. His long, delicate fingers grazing across her skin leaving an after-burn on its trail as he slid those until he placed them firmly on her jaw forcing her to look up. She opened her eyes slowly only to be greeted by his intense brown eyes.
Her knees instantly wobbled with his gaze and his touch that she knew the moment he let go of her, she will instantly fall to the ground.
“Tax,” she breathed. “You don’t have to do this.”
“You sent me to hell; there’s a price to pay for that. My forgiveness isn’t easy, sweetheart. Show me you need it. Show me you want it. Prove me wrong,” he said as if he was giving order. George’s lips parted as they quivered. He leaned more that his lips subtly touched the tip of her ear. The mere connection made her body convulse. In fear? She didn’t know anymore. “We both know you desperately want me. I will use it to my advantage. That’s a warning.”
She wanted to raise her voice, to rebut with all she had against him but she stopped herself because she needed him at that moment. She wanted him to come back to his old self – the one that she didn’t break, the one that she didn’t rob happiness. It hurt her that every time she looks into his eyes, all she could see was nothing. Taxton held his emotions captive greatly that no one can even know what he was really feeling. He became too good at faking everything that it made her too cautious.
George swallowed her own saliva, as well as her pride. “What do you want me to do?”
He chuckled darkly. “Kneel. I want you on your knees, Georgina.”
“Okay,” she murmured while nodding slowly, still locking gazes with Taxton who showed no compassion nor mercy. His eyes showed amusement in which she felt pain in her heart knowing that he enjoyed watching her agony but she realized that what he was doing to her was nothing compared to the torment she gave him years ago.
She fell onto her knees gradually. He gave her a smirk of contempt as she her knees made contact on the ground.
“Good girl,” Taxton scoffed.
“Is this all?”
“No, Georgina. I won’t make this easy for you.”
“What else?” she asked bravely, still their eyes on each other were intact.
George watched his smirk grew larger in just a second, and that made her heart beat erratically. Her mind went blank as Taxton took a step closer. “Now beg, Georgina. I want to hear it from you now.”
Once again, George gulped for she was feeling so choked with his proximity. She looked down when his gaze hardened. His scent intoxicated her and it brought her back to the past wherein she first smelled that musk from him. It was so familiar that she hoped maybe there’s something that didn’t change from him.
“Say it,” he purred. “Come on.”
George bit her lower lip hard but she couldn’t feel any pain aside from the pain she was feeling inside. She had broken the man standing in front of her in any way possible. And there she was, kneeling in front of the very man she had broken.
“You’re silent, sweetheart. Are you afraid?” Taxton mocked, disdain evident on his voice. “You weren’t afraid back then; remember when you testified against me? You were so fucking brave back then. What happened now? Where’s your courage? Dorothy pulled your tail off, tiger?”
“I’m not…” she trailed off as she hastily met his eyes but upon contact, the intense fiery gaze of his made her quiver. “I will never be afraid of you. You are nothing to me, Tax.”
“Nothing to you?” he laughed. “We both know that I am just nothing to you, Georgina. I am not. That’s why you are here. That’s why you are asking for my forgiveness. That’s why you wanted to erase all your wrongs. You both want and need my forgiveness, sweetheart. I am not nothing to you, because if I am, you won’t be here kneeling like a masochist for my forgiveness. You won’t stand me for this long if you treat me like nothing. You won’t let your guilt consume you if I am just nothing.”
She went silent for she knew he was right. He wasn’t just nothing to her. He was the one whose future she’d taken away. She withdrew all his colors that blue is the only color left in him and she knew he could only see black and white. She was aware of what she had done and she’s ready to face the consequences no matter what those were. She was ready to dive-in head-first.
“Beg. I’m waiting,” he said as his eyes narrowed into a slit.
George shut her eyes tight just as she began to breathe short and fast. She couldn’t do it. She wanted to, but there was no voice she could muster. She was ready for everything he could throw at her yet she couldn’t find the courage she was saying she had in her. It was hard, but she needed his forgiveness that she craved for it. She thought she could get it; except she couldn’t. She was fighting against herself. She initially thought she could do it but now that she’s in front of him, she couldn’t. She couldn’t find the braveness she had when she set foot in front of his house, the courage she had when she marched into his territory, the adrenaline that was rushing through her veins when their eyes first met. She looked like a fool silently begging for forgiveness from a stone.
“If you’re not going to beg, get up and leave.” He said darkly, his voice becoming deeper than usual and his eyes turned into tinier slits. The clenching of his jaw was evident that it shot another wave of nervousness in her. “I don’t need you, Georgina, but you? I don’t think you can handle another sleepless night with your guilt consuming you alive, asking yourself why have you done things you shouldn’t have, crying to yourself every single damn night because you can’t handle being unforgiven.
“Guess what, Georgina. I don’t think I am able to forgive you for what you have done,” Taxton said through gritted teeth. George, feeling ashamed, only looked down, avoiding his intense gaze. Her pulse rate quickened as he dropped himself in front of her, kneeled his one knee. Taxton held her cheek between his index finger and thumb, then tugged her head harshly to meet his gaze. “No, I will not forgive you. I just won’t, even if I want to, even if I have to. This is my vengeance, Georgina. Now, I want you to feel it.”
George’s breath hitched as her eyes lingered on Taxton’s moving lips as he spoke. He seemed to notice what she did. He leaned closer to her face that she could feel his breath. His mouth smelled like coffee and cigarette, and his musk made him seem domineering.
She felt like she was getting intoxicated just with his scent.
Her lips parted slightly as his nose gently touched hers. She released a breath audibly that a chuckle escaped from his lips. His iris became few shades darker and that seemed to send shots of heat spreading through her body.
“You want me,” he declared as he claimed her lips in an aggressive kiss. His lips tasted like mixture of coffee and cigarette. She hated the taste of cigarettes yet she was wanting more of Taxton’s kiss that she unconsciously willed herself to indulge at the pleasure he was giving her. The moment she opened her mouth, his tongue entered her mouth. She moaned at sudden delight as his hands crawled under her shirt. Suddenly, he stopped. The moment his lips left hers felt emptying. She wanted to chase his lips. “I’m sorry I have to end it like this.”
A wicked grin registered on his face. “You will never have the apology you’re seeking for. Leave.” His words resonated inside her head. Taxton showed no remorse as he grabbed her arm, dragging her across the room. She was fighting to free herself from his tight grip but he only held her tighter. The pain brought tears in her eyes.
“Let me go, you fucker!”
His sharp eyes almost seemed like he was throwing daggers into her. He threw her into the sofa, laughing hysterically. “Now I’m a fucker? Seriously? I am the fucker?”
Taxton laughed again.
“Don’t make me laugh, woman. Between you and me, you’re more of a fucker than I am because you fucked up my life. You made me wish I hadn’t met you. You made me wish I hadn’t loved you.
You put me in this situation, George. You forced me into this. You made me into this.”
“That’s why I am sorry!”
“Your sorry isn’t fucking enough! Repentance won’t make me forgive you. Every fucking time I see you I remember everything – what you’d put me through, what you did to me, what you’d taken away from me. You can’t bring those back. You will never be able to bring those back! My life had a complete turn when I met you. My life became a mess. I became a mess. All. Because. Of. You.”
Her tears began to fall at his words. It felt like a salt applied to a wound. She could almost hear her own heart breaking with what he said. She didn’t know what he went through. She didn’t know the damages with the things she’d done, but she’s sorry for all of it. She couldn’t handle the guilt, but he was tripping her. He was pushing her to feel the guilt. But she understood him. Taxton was sad, angry, disappointed, every negative emotion that he might feel.
When she looked into his eyes at that moment, she felt fear. Because in his eyes, she saw fires of hatred boring into her. At that moment, she felt so weak. His huge frame towering over her didn’t help.
“You know what, George. Back then, I really thought it would be you.”
His deep, serious voice broke her even more.
“I’m sorry.”
Taxton shook his head. “Apology still not accepted.”
