Chapter 1
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Ava Morris
My eyes couldn’t leave the man who was punching his opponent. Punch after punch was thrown. Blood was oozing out of their noses. I gulped for breath as the lump formed in my throat. I closed my eyes when the man wearing blue boxers fell to the ground from the punch that he had received.
Nothing could be heard except the thrill, excitement and anticipation-filled screams of the people who occupied the place. They waited for the man to stand up. I know what would happen if he stood up.
“Come on, man! You can do it! Brad! Brad! Kill the fucker!” people were screaming. A cold shiver ran throughout my body when Brad gave a final punch to his rival, sending him into the air. The other person fell with a loud thud. I winced when I saw how bad his face looked and how bad his condition was.
I never wanted to be here, but at the same time, I wanted to be here―Why?
‘To see him’
He didn’t know I was here before his eyes could scan the crowd. I turned back and started walking out, even though it was tough to get out.
People. . . People. . . Everywhere, I tried to get out as fast as I could. I pushed them aside, making my way out. My heart is beating nervously against my rib cage.
His eyes― look so dangerous and deadly that it scares me every time I try to remember his face. I never wanted to see that in his eyes, but fate played differently; that is what I know every time I’m here.
I was able to step out without facing any drunken men. I shiver, standing there in the empty parking area. I pull on my hoodie and keep the mask on. I made my way towards where I parked my mum’s car. I drove hers as I don’t have my car.
Getting into the car, I close my eyes and inhale heavily. That is what I do. Whenever I’m there to see him. . .
′Brad McCarthy.′
The one I have loved since my teenage years and the one I’m not able to forget. I roll my lower lip into my mouth as I gaze at the people leaving the abandoned stadium. I started the engine to leave the place as soon as possible. As I drive home, I think about him. The time when he was eighteen years old started playing in my mind.
Brad McCarthy is my brother’s best friend. I have known him since my childhood. We hardly had a conversation. He ignores me. Goes the other way if I were in the same room. Even if I tried talking, he would simply give me a nod and move away. Frustration bubbles in me as I think about it.Why couldn’t I just forget him?
I remember the first time I saw him. I was six years old when Mum and Dad decided to foster a kid. He was of Vincent’s age with a bad history of unsuccessful foster homes. I couldn’t remember everything clearly, but Mum recalls the. She misses him, and I’m sure she loves him more than Vincent and me.
I was eleven when I started seeing him in a different light. He was never like a sibling to us. He was Vincent’s bestfriend, Mum and Dad’s favourite kid and my Crush. Sure, my parents wanted to legally adopt him, but the process didn’t go through. THANK GOD!
I would’ve died before I called him brother. I think someone up there heard my prayers. Anyway, it wasn’t like he wasn’t our family. He was a big part of our family. Not just him, but Vincent’s other two friends, Celeb and Axel. I guess I was smitten by his calm and quiet nature. I have always seen him helping my Mum and Dad without them asking.
Every time something goes wrong and someone ends up feeling bad, Brad is their person. He always rushes to be there for his friends, no matter where he is or how busy he is. Heck, he left one of his important tournaments to be there for Vincent. The boys are close and brothers.
Though they are best friends, Vincent was and is closest to Brad. I know Vincent never hid anything from Brad. The same goes to Brad. It was also one of the reasons why I was so scared of confessing my feelings. Knowing very well, Brad would reject me.
As the years passed, my crush turned into love. He never knew about it. I made sure he never found it out. How would he? He would’ve at least had a doubt if he had made eye contact with me.
The only time we ever had a conversation was when he wanted to ask about Vincent’s whereabouts. Oh, he also spoke to me when I turned fifteen. He gifted me a yoga mat. Pink yoga mat. I was dumbfounded, but Vincent cracked up on the floor. Thinking about that night brings a smile to my face.
He was eighteen that year and was seriously considered for training for official boxing. I know he took part in illegal fights more often than I thought he would. He ended up moving out soon after. He mentioned he needed space, but I know he didn’t want to worry my parents with his occasional cuts and bruises. He had found a good trainer who trained him for free. In return, Brad would work in the gym and help the younger kids in the summer.
I won’t lie. It was heartbreaking when he moved out of our house. I ended up crying in my room for hours. Brad’s visits had genuinely got down. He became busy with school and practice. He even got into university, where he did a bachelor’s in mechanical engineering. He went to the same university as Celeb. Axel moved to Canada, and Vincent moved to London.
Thinking about everything, my heart feels heavy. I can’t understand how we all ended up falling apart. It’s well-known that I’ve tried to move on from Brad. I did everything possible—went out with attractive guys, considered a serious relationship, but nothing worked. Following my university friends’ advice, I tried hooking up, which turned out to be a disaster. I stayed away from Brad for a year, but it wasn’t as simple as I expected.
I halt my car as the signal turns red.What am I doing?
I’m in my last year of college and set to graduate this year, but I haven’t yet experienced love or anything similar. It’s frustrating because I always believed I would have a passionate love story and experience everything. I thought I would move on from Brad once I started university, where I would meet many men. But— nope. Nothing has happened.
It’s a blessing to know Brad, but it’s also a curse. There’s a saying that I read somewhere,‘Blessings might also bring curses while curses might unexpectedly bring blessings.’
In my case, it is so true. Having a crush on Brad was a blessing, but it was also a curse to my love life. I let out a groan as I start driving. It would take another ten minutes to reach my house. My thoughts rush back to Brad’s body. He got a great body. Sometimes I wonder if he works out too much or if it’s because of steroids. But I know his schedule. There’s no junk. Like no junk. And his schedule is all about working out, running, boxing and meditating. Yes, he meditates.
Groaning for another time, I try not to think of him. I try to focus on something, but within a second, my thoughts rush back to Brad. I know that the boys meet up with Vincent in the London as my brother doesn’t want to return home. I don’t blame him for what has happened. The last time we were in London, I had high hopes of meeting Brad after all these years. I was eager. . . Too eager, but to my disappointment, Brad couldn’t make it.
Meeting Celeb and Axel again after so long was enjoyable, but my mind and heart felt disappointed. It’s been three years since then. After nearly ten years of developing feelings for him, I believe it’s time to let go of that hope. When I get home, I park the car in the driveway and gaze at the house.
Tapping my fingers on the steering wheel. “No more fights. No more thoughts of Brad. Focus on the future. Focus on meeting new people. Brad is now a closed chapter.” Assuring myself another time. I get out of the car and walk towards the main door.
He is a dream that will never come true, even when I wish for him to be mine.









First chapter... interesting so far. I think he did notice her but were too shy to say anything. You missed the B in brad on the last sentance.
that is literally me 😔
I can relate to this girl so much. I like somebody who I have known since I was in diapers and now I am Abt to turn 13 and he doesn't understand how much I care abt him.