Moon's Worry
Moon's POV
I woke up and saw not one but both of my parents over my bed. Now you must think,"sweet that means that they are saying good morning!",Wrong. They are going to attack me and see how I escape.
Father rushed at me first, quickly and scarily. I let him advance almost to my face before dropping to the ground and rolling between his legs. Before he can turn I sweep my leg under his knocking him over. Mother takes this opportunity to run at me with her claws. I jump and roundhouse kick her in the nose. She drops to the ground with blood streaming out her nose.
"Well done babygirl. You were ready for us. But remember, it isn't over till the opponent is dead or unconscious." Dad states as he picks me up and drops me on the ground so hard I hear a rib crack.
"Well, we should discuss your party next week hun.",mom stated with her nose healed and almost as if nothing happened. "I didn't want this party so I truly do not care what you have to say about it with all do respect.", I said so quietly that only those truly listening heard me.
"You must find your mate or you cannot be queen!",mom stated desperately. "I do not want to have someone rule and pretend I am not rightful to rule", I state agitated.
A mate would never do that to you moon. He will love you and respect your opinion.
Star, no man will do this. Even mom cannot go against my father's decisions. She has no choice. I must be strong. I will not lose my power as I almost did to another man who could care less about us.
Fine you can be like that, but remember he is the other half of your soul. That shell of a man was not your mate nor did I like him from the beginning. He was a mistake.
"I will attend this event, however, if I find my mate and he is a cruel and harsh man i will reject him and you will have no choice but to pass the crown to only me.", I confidently preached. They cannot deny my reasoning is sound so, they nod and agree.
Maybe I will keep my heart safe after all. I failed once and I will not again. He was not worth me. He didn't even know who or what I am. Hopefully he doesn't come back when he finds out.
Sorry, this posted before we had a chance to finish. "Please, talk to me," Mary pleaded. Note the comma goes before the close of the speech marks, and it is a comma, not a full stop. Good luck with your writing.
A most unexpected and wonderful beginning, with the unexpected attack. But despite this we sense the care and love the parents have for your heroine. So yes, the plotline is excellent, with much promise, and the story is worth continuing. Just read a bit more to make sure you understand punctuation. Well done.