IT'S ONLY ME

New Year’s Eve

Annie glances through the frosted window at the animated group gearing up for the New Year countdown. A second later it will be cue Annie for her birthday gift ceremony. A recent ritual she could do without but hugely appreciates. How could she not appreciate all that effort to find her something original or just plain old expensive? And how could she not indulge their sweet and enduring hope that the gift will take some of the sting out of this poignant time of year? And for a moment it does distract. But just for a moment.

This being a proper milestone birthday Annie suspects she’s going to be in for an especially surprising surprise. She chuckles as she mentally runs through the possibilities. Oh God! I hope it’s not something sick like a life-sized doll of Jack? With real hair. That would be so Nicky. Nicky being Annie’s best friend and the self-appointed chief gift-planner. The others usually just paid up and didn’t dare argue with her sometimes completely inappropriate ideas. Which luckily were usually abandoned in the cold light of coffee. The others being Jack’s best friend Charlie, his willful wife Helen, Annie’s adored, older by two years brother Toby and his younger by ten years yet alarmingly grown-up wife, Jemma.

Annie turns away and cranes towards a sky so clear the stars overshadow the outdoor festive lights.

‘Hey … it’s only me. How’s your evening going? On your second bottle of celestial fizz? Hope they’re serving the good stuff this year.’

The countdown finally commences.

‘Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two --.’

A Champagne cork hits a lamp, knocking it over. But tonight nobody cares and through the cries of Happy New Year Toby generously pours. The liquid slides down the sides of the chilled flutes and even Jemma resists grabbing paper napkins to limit the minor collateral damage to her expensive carpet. Suffering from acute sporadic dyslexia, Nicky doesn’t care at all. She can’t even spell the word ‘housework’. However there’s a rather large suspicion that she caught the non-fatal syndrome while trawling the What’s Trending pages in Hollywood rags. A suspicion compounded by the fact that Nicky won every single spelling contest throughout her entire school career. But luckily her big heart is so well placed that her entourage willingly put general life rules aside for the girl who held her friend together for five years and without a single complaint. The kind woman in question holds out two empty glasses, wriggling them with impatience. Toby obliges.

’Typical Nicky. One is never enough.’

‘You don’t need to bring my love life into this. Especially when my Christmas stockings are sadly empty. Triple wages season and all that.’

Nicky grins then cocks her head to gesture to the window. Toby nods knowingly and pours to the brim. Nicky goes to the front door, politely knocking before going out. She gives Annie a quick kiss on the cheek and hands her a glass.

‘Happy birthday, Belle. Fuck it’s cold!’

Annie smiles at her friend.

‘You’re half naked!’

The two friends clink glasses and move closer together for human warmth. Annie being taller lays her chin on Nicky’s head. Annie is the first to speak.

‘I’m still younger than you.’

‘By about a minute. Anyway who cares? Word out on the street is I’m only twenty-nine.’

‘I’ve a copy of your passport. And I will put posters up around town if you don’t grow up!’

Both women laugh. Nicky moves to the side and holds her glass up to toast the birthday girl.

’OK, enough of the quibbling. Although I secretly loathe for it to be all about you. Tonight is all about you. So here’s to you joining the big Four-O Club. Scary shit. Or so I’ve been told.’

‘Hah! Thanks, Nics.’

Annie takes a long cool mouthful of Champagne while observing the necklace her friend is wearing. The pretty polished heart-shaped amber on its mid-length gold chain was her birthday gift to Nicky. As Nicky speaks she instinctively caresses its smoothness.

’By the way, we’ve got you a very special gift this year. The birthday board has truly excelled. Coming in? You know you want to!’

Annie nods. She’s genuinely excited and cannot think for the life of her what her present could be. Last year she had a strong inkling, as Nicky who can sometimes be as subtle as brush, kept going on about how Annie was such a good cook, loved to cook and wouldn’t it be amazing if she started cooking properly again? That and a web page left open on Nicky’s phone pretty much nailed that short guessing game. Annie giggles as she remembers effectively doing the, ‘Oh my God! I’d never have guessed!’ routine while slowly opening the parcel. And it seems she’s a better actor than she thought. Annie gently shoulder-nudges Nicky.

‘You give us one more minute?’

‘Course. Say hi from me.’

Nicky leaves her friend outside. And Annie raises her glass.

‘Happy New Year, wherever you are.’

A shooting star hurtles through the sky. Anne shivers in a warm way and goes inside to join her friends and family.

Nicky takes endless photographs which everyone bears and grins, while secretly wishing she didn’t love her camera so much. The now tipsy and perennially sentimental Toby coughs in an attempt to hold court.

‘OK, that’s enough, Princess Paparazzo. It’s present time!’

There are no tears this year and everyone truly welcomes the lightness. Especially Annie, who rubs her hands with genuine glee.

Nicky puts her precious camera down and picks up a small bag. Everyone crowds around in vicarious excitement. Nicky is not going to let this moment be a short one so waits until she has the room’s full attention.

‘Right. Now, Annie, dear Annie, we all thought long and hard –.’ Toby interjects, ‘Pun intended.’

Annie hits her brother playfully. Jemma pretends to be shocked. ‘Toby, she’s your sister!’

Toby kisses his wife on the cheek. The lovely Helen downs her glass and quips.

‘And a girl can’t live on puns alone.’

Charlie laughs but there’s a brief giveaway of sadness in his eyes. The efficient Jemma takes Annie’s empty glass and sits her sister-in-law down.

‘Exactly. It’s time Annie got out there again.’

Charles shakes his head.

‘What? Just so she can settle down again with a new ball and chain?!’

Helen whacks her husband’s arm, ‘You pig!’

Annie looks nonplussed and wants to hurry up the gift show.

‘Ermmm … you’re making me a little nervous. Can you just put me out of my happy misery? Quickly. Humanely.’

Nicky takes over.

‘Exactly! Now, Belle, you know how much we all love you?’

Annie nods obediently yet warily.

‘And you know how we’d love you to be loved by someone who’s not a woman, a family member, a dog, a cat, a fish, a good Samaritan or Frank from fruit n’veg?’

Annie nods even more slowly this time.

All eyes dive into their Champagne glasses to avoid catching Annie’s narrowed-eyed gaze.

’Hmmmm …. I’m not sure I like where this is going. In fact I know I don’t like where it’s going. You better not have bought some strange lifelike thing from China.’

Nicky looks around the room, but there’s no moral support available. Also is appears as though no one has any idea what Annie might possibly be negatively referring to. So Nicky throws caution to the wind and gets on with the process.

‘Oh bugger it. Here you go!’

Nicky thrusts a large gold envelope into Annie’s hands. Annie looks intrigued and very relieved. How sinister could a posh envelope be? Ooo, maybe it’s a Caribbean holiday? That would be very nice! Ah … no. I know. It’s a gift token. A very fancy one. Makes sense, as you can’t exactly get it wrong if I’ve chosen the gift myself. Hey, I didn’t want one of these! But Annie, you chose it yourself! Annie, I think you’re clinically –

Nicky snaps her fingers.

‘Hello! Belle, you back?’

Annie answers by carefully opening the envelope so as to not tear the gilded edges. She then slowly reads the contents. A vaguely hopeful silence ensues until Annie looks up and glares at her audience. Tense silence. Until Toby hiccups. Annie is furious.

‘Not funny. REALLY not funny!’

Nicky looks uncharacteristically coy.

‘Belle. Don’t judge. Just yet. Anyway, there’s more.’

Nicky is so out of her short depth she simply thrusts the relatively small box into Annie’s other hand.

’Er ... Maybe this is more up your alley?’

Muffled sniggers from all parties but one. Annie storms out. Opps …