What is your opinion?
Wonderful story!
"This story is wonderful already with magic employed in the story. I like the establishments of the characters like Cara and Aaron. Their fight for work and hiring. There are however some small things to work on, like a character's speech. Although I know who was talking, it's hard to get through without seeing "speech speech speech" someone snorted, or whatever it was. Some dialogue had said, snapped whatever that tells us that they are talking since I personally regard this as an indication of the character's actions. The summary is attractive enough to get me reading. Try to avoid I'll the won't sort of words. Try to break it apart, more like I will, or will not. Great job, you got my vote! And I tried to write this review at the best of my abilities. Good luck in the NaNoWriMo contest!"
Promising
"It started out very difficult to understand. I think that's because the backdrop wasn't properly set first. I didn't understand the first paragraph until I got to the second paragraph. The first and second paragraphs would be better switched or interwoven. Other parts of the first chapter were difficult to understand and I thought it was just because I'm not used to fantasy. There were descriptive words I didn't know and figured they are jargon common of the genre. But the second chapter was much more straightforward and easier to understand, I liked that style better. Descriptions were there to enhance not fluff, which is nice. Cara is characterised well; you can really grasp at her. I feel the pacing of the story is also nice."
Questing: A Failed Tale
"I think you have a good beginning to a story and I look forward to seeing where you go with it. There seems to be quite a bit of mystery in Cara's backstory and it will be interesting to see how that comes to light as your plot plays out. Keep writing!"
Nothing Good Comes Easy
"The story is... not enough, and i a good way. Charming, playful, fun and endearing, it is a total flip to your medieval hero fighting monsters for some cliche goal. It is interesting and humane, nothing bold or wonderful, you simply relate and sympathize with the main character. It leaves you wanting for more, to know what will happen and if there is any hope. I bet there will, we all get our break every now and then. I really hope more chapters pop about soon. Technically speaking (clears throat) Grammar and punctuation requires revision as well a good proof read. tensing, repeating word and some sentence structures are off. Commas and punctuation options should be explored and revised. It is not amateurish, just unpolished...something i can totally relate, therefore i dont judge with severity. The chapter are short and sweet, quick- fleet footed- but have enough depth to create a story and tell us what is going on, where we are and who we are dealing with. Structure is standard, with good spacing and breaking of paragraphs for pauses and ideas for change. It is a definite solid start for a new author and a new story. I am eager to join in on her journey and encourage this author to write this story more. I will make my review ongoing (one of the few). I wish to fully appreciate and see how much the story and author will grow. 4 stars is just an adequate start for this "novice rank"..."
