Good story

"Good story "

Archangel

"I loved this story. I hope you continue the story in a sequel. I would suggest having some one you trust review before putting the chapters up. Your errors were minimal compared to most new authors and I really hope you continue to write!!! Thanks for a great story. "

Archangel

"Great read; grabs you from the first chapter and moves along throughout. A few minor typos but easy enough to overlook."

Required

"This was such an amazing read... Needs a second instalment "

Can't wait for your next book!

"This book is never boring. It grabbed me from the first chapter and hasn't let me go. The characters feel real they have real struggles inside themselves. I can not get my work done because I'm obsessed with reading what is going to happen next. I would like more books from this author."

Archangel

"Puts a human face to war when a enemy gets to know their foe and we all a good part however we do get brainwashed I know I was once a soldier"

Good read

"This story has had me from the beginning,it's a story I would recommend to people who don't usually read in this genre. I will look forward to seeing more from this author"

Archangel

"Loved this story! Other than a few grammatical errors I couldn't find many faults at all, thank you so very much for the great read! "

Archangel

"Loved the plot and the lead character, the twists, and worldbuilding. Can't wait for the sequel"

Fantastic

"I loved the book from the first chapter and hope to see a follow up . Thank you"

Amazing

"I enjoyed it very much 😍"

archangel

"recomed as a must read left me want more"

Arch angel

"Well written. "

"null"

Lovely book

"Kudos for writing such a masterpiece. I would like to feature your Inkitt book for free to my list of newsletter subscribers. If that is alright by you then please email me at cbdoungd876 AT gmail.com to book your spot, thanks."

Expected the Unexpected Trope

"Though it's taken me a while to review as I'm mid-move, this was an utterly enjoyable read and I devoured it in 3 sittings! Despite the fact that I was reading late at night and had early commitments the next day, from the chapter 'Charlie' I genuinely (and rather regrettably) could not stop clicking Next Chapter. This is a novel I wouldn't hesitate to recommend! I at first wondered at the pacing in the prologue. For reasons I understood afterwards, I enjoyed probably enjoyed the prologue the least. (Though made clear why later) I felt it was very impersonal, and I worried that the rest would be written just so (-well, but difficult to relate to), but then we of course meet Gabriel. A character full of heart despite his rather placid attitude. It is enchanting to watch him grow. The missteps we, as the reader, are lead towards make the more familiar tropes charming. Not to give too much away, but I liked the fact that two very different worlds were experienced. This plot was something I, personally, have dabbled with a couple of times in my writing, but you executed it wonderfully. You have a sophisticated writing style that drips with intelligence and makes reading an at once effortless and compulsive past-time. For general improvements however, I'd just suggest a further read through. There were the odd errors that one more look over would fix, but a couple sentences also read a little odd in my head, and I'm sure if you read them over again or even aloud you'd see they could do with a shuffling of words. Unfortunately, because I finished it a few days ago I can't quite remember them, but in another review you received it was mentioned so you've probably already got that part down. I remember feeling that the sections that jumped between time in the Dillo and life back on Nova seemed to jar a little bit and felt a little out of sync. The two are naturally very different anyway so that may have added to it but just thought I should mention that as they stuck out to me so it might be useful to have a read over those parts for yourself as well. Got to give you a quick kudos with the characters before this gets too long-winded! I thought Charlie and most of the Nova staff (Rachel, Lucile, and Sara) were especially strong characters that immediately demanded to be cared for and about- or greatly disliked, as the case may be. In the case of Fairy and Chance, while I did feel entertained by their antics and friendship, I couldn't help feeling that, in Fairy's case, Charlie warranted more affection from me as a reader. I thought this at first the aim, but by the end of the book I wasn't so sure. Are we supposed to care about both equally? (Unrelated; I was confused about whether the indecision and his mental state had helped affect the sync rate?) I think that may be it... There's probably a whole host of other things but I really should get back to these boxes! I wish you all the luck in the world with the publication of this novel- wonderfully readable!"

""

Very Engaging Read

"As you know, I very much enjoyed this story. All of the main cast you introduce have great potential, and for the most part I think they meet it, though there is still room for growth at the end (sequel?). You do a great job with creating moral dilemmas for Gabriel, and I think that you do a great job using those dilemmas to gradually mature him as a character- I can definitely say that he's changed by the end of the story. You made me really want to see more of the relationships between Chance, Fairy, and Gabriel, and the fact that you built that up so well in the first portion of the story made some of the stuff that happened with Gabriel later on (should I refrain from spoilers in case others read this review...) all the more suspenseful. Both the content and your writing style really kept me on the edge of my seat and unable to stop reading. You built up suspense to pivotal moments in the story and then delivered on the anticipation. The only thing I really have to complain about is the fact that the story ends where it does, which is to say that I think you should continue writing. Job well done"

Great read, a lot of potential

"First of all if like the say that I loved this story, I stayed up until 2am reading it. While it's not without out it's faults I'm not going to critique them in detail here as others have already done so in far better words than I have energy to muster. All I will say is that the grammar was rather inconsistent as was some of the spelling: in fact I'm pretty sure that I saw the word 'kinv' somewhere which doesn't fall in line with the rest of the story. The plot was by far my favourite part of this story, Gabriel was an outstanding character in terms of characterisation. The only thing I would like to see more of is Fairy and Chance, I feel that they could have played a less supporting roll and been mentioned more. Given the ending Fairy especially should have been detailed more. As a whole I would say that the whole plot went smoothly aside from one thing, the introduction of Michael. For a while I had trouble reading through the lines and work out that he wasn't actually Archangel and that Gabriel was. When it suddenly jumped between referring to both of them as Archangel I was very confused. For a moment I actually thought that Michael was his older famous brother or something. The end of this story left me with a lot to think about. My brain is running wild thinking of what could be possible in a sequel which is a good thing. Vulture shooting, Kniv robbing, war resistance starting Gabriel is stuck in my head with Fairy tracking him down the whole time. The setting and vehicular tie-ins at the end actually gave me a kind of Mad Max vibe. You are planning on writing a sequel anyway right? I for one would love to see it, it's been a while since I've found properly good Sci fi. If there are any mistakes or seeming rambling in this review then I apologise, I'm too sleep deprived to have have the presence of mind to accurately write or check over anything. Thanks for taking the time to write this story, hopefully I'll have the chance to drop another review on a future one of yours soon."

Enjoyed x100

"Sorry it took so long to review~ To begin, the summary was good. It drew me in. As many people review here, you grammar needs work, Some of the sentences are wordy and awkward and took away from the story. Many were run ons or they needed commas. There were many instances where you used two words that mean the same thing in the same sentence (e.g reached up, headrest of his chair, strode forwards, very nearly, etc.) This is an example of wordiness. You only need reached, headrest, strode, nearly to convey your meaning. spiraling into an uncontrolled spin--> spiraling uncontrollably Here's an example that I hope makes sense for you: "Once he was secured, he pulled on his helmet and sealed it into place against his suit." How about instead: "Once secured, he pulled his helmet and sealed it into place." Hopefully you can see the second sentence is 'getting the biggest bang for your buck' we as the readers assume its against the suit. Here's another: "A tingle started at the base of his skull that traveled through the rest of this body before finally stopping at his toes as the neural link between his body and the machine began to form." Now try this: "A tingle at the base of his skull traveled through his body before finally stopping at his toes, initiating the neural link between man and machine;" Another tip, I have a problem with this too, but try to use 'as' sparingly. It easily gets redundant and if you read your work with that thought in mind, you would be shocked how many times you use 'as'. I always am! Instead, you can use descriptive words or verbs. The example above shows this,.. To continue, the characters are great in the sense that they have their own personalities and a reader can easily describe their personalities to a person who never read the book, which is good. You include descriptions words of the characters fairly. Some more couldn't hurt. For example, I don't recall many, if any descriptive features of Gabriel. You have eyes and hair descriptions for some, but some others you can use is height, skin tone, signature facial expressions, body type, clothing style etc. The plot was great and like others say it has a Gundam feel to it while still being your own. I can tell you are very creative and can develop scenes and actions easily, it's putting it to paper that is hard. I'm the same way. I have so many ideas and how I want to weave it around a single plot, but on the paper, it becomes word vomit, But it gets easier with practice, I promise! Something that no one mentioned, but thought this could be a good add to the story was when Gabriel was on the Dillo reminiscing to what Fairy and Chance were doing while he was gone -- to make that into it's own chapter. I think that have a chapter where Fairy investigates and drags Chance along to find Gabriel and - based on her character- have a sneaky suspicion that Gabriel isn't who he says he is- but never admits to thinking he's the Archangel-- would really develop those two characters. Chance doesn't get many chances to show the funny guy persona as Gabriel describes and it would also show how much Fairy cares for Gabriel.... potentially more than a friend? Continuing with characters, one last thing. I think Jayce should be introduced a bit sooner. Perhaps create a scene while they are on the Dillo where Gabriel witnesses and realize that the ELA are just people. You say he thinks that, but having him witness and experience that I think would make a bigger impact to the readers. There are a few instances where what Gabriel thinks should become an action in the story so that the readers can come to the same conclusion- rather than Gabriel just thinking and "telling" the readers. These critiques are just showing how much I ENJOYED this story and hope these tips can make it that much better! I've haven't read many 'Gundam' / space books, but I thought this one was really thought out and I could tell how much effort you put into it. I hope you work on a sequel and if you ever need a person to bounce ideas off of or need assistance with editing, I would be perfectly happy to help! Okay, I'm done, Phew! P.s. voted for you in the contest. BYE!"