Chapter 1
And there you were. Looking as beautiful and angelic as ever. You were only a couple desks away from me. All I could do was stare at the back of your perfectly formed hair. All I can do is watch you laugh at your phone hoping that you would maybe, just maybe look at me. Look and long for me the way I want you.
And now you have switched the way you're facing totally unaware that I'm writing about you. Should I tell you? And risk my obsession to get exposed? Do I need to even answer that question? What was the cause for you changing your direction? Are you waiting for someone? Do you also long for someone?
It's only the start of the day, and I have to and must admit. Even if you just woke up or maybe not, you're still as handsome as ever. And I can't help but wonder what it would feel like if you could hold me in your arms. I want to stare at you forever. I wish you would stare at me the way I do. The long for LOVE and not LUST. The feeling that is longed for from most teenagers. The feeling that they all wished could be true. If this is LOVE, why does it hurt so much?
Why must LOVE feel this way? When you're chasing after something/someone that you obviously know you can possibly get a hold of. What if you felt the same way, and couldn't express the way that you feel. And by doing so, you use other people to replace that feeling that you've always longed for. The way you act the behaviour you have reflects the way you feel. Well-behaved boys can come to terms with their feelings.
Whereas, the bad-behaved ones DON'T KNOW how to cope or let alone handle those feelings. All they can possibly do is wait and wait for the certain person that can fill in that hole that they call their heart.Your cheeks are always so warm and your smile too.
And there you are again being all handsome and out of my damn league. Sitting across from you, makes it harder to admit my undying feelings. Obvious stares. And I can see you glance back every now and then, probably for another reason. A reason that has nothing to relate to me. Maybe you just thinking. Maybe just a habit of yours.
Then again, I'm left in my own imagination. Thinking about how much I want you to be mine. But that would never happen. Since I'm not anyone's type. I'm not the person anyone wants to keeper close enough to hold. I'm just THAT girl you can talk about pretty much anything.
Casually, just singing out loud, still feeling conscious about how I sound. Only if I would make a perfect performance infront of people. Maybe if I wished I was better, will you love me back?
Never mind that, just glancing at you figure satisfies me. I don't need you to notice me, it's fine. The only thing I need is to know that you actually acknowledged me but maybe not for the way I want to be. Yet, you're still enticing and I wan tot try get close to you. I want to be the person that you'd hold. Could you hold me? Would that be too much of a wish or something to imagine? Your fingers gracefully sliding again your phone screen. Your hands look so soft. I wonder how they would feel if we were holding hands. Would it feel like we were fit for each other?
