Thomas-1
As I push the wooden door open I’m greeted with the same cold wind as always. Each gust brings a cloud of mist from the seemingly endless rain that plagues Lindell. Its been over a week since it’s even slowed from its constant downpour. I watch the morning passers-by unfazed by it all. Trudging up the path through the ankle-deep current that swirls below. As it flows in its descent of the cobblestone roadways, rushing to the stone pathways carved to lead it out of the city. Lindell would have long been washed away had it not been for the mountainous terrain it was built on.
I stick my arm out of the door, letting the rain pelt my skin. Each drop feeling like a small stone as it hits. Hardly a second of being outside, my arm is already drenched and goosebumps have covered my arm as well as retreated up past my shoulder. I sigh as my arm falls back to my side. I have to be one of the only people in Lindell, who hates the rain. I know I am, to be honest, just looking out my door I can see it’s true. Never once have I seen anyone curse the weather, or even frown as they pass by. Even on the days that are far worse than today. To them, a day like today might as well be a pleasantly warm spring morning. As it most certainly was in the rest of Draken’s Reach.
“Why do you always act as if the rain is going to kill you?” Nera’s voice came from behind me. Unlike myself, Nera loved the rain. ” So can we go now? Or must you stand there brooding for an hour.” She tossed me a thin, black, leather cloak.
“Sometimes don’t you just wish for a day where you weren’t drenched from head to toe from the moment you step out the door?” I adjusted the cloak as I pulled it over me and draped its hood over my head. “I know I do at least.” Taking one last look at the rushing water I brace myself for the rain as I take my first step.
“I don’t. I hope it never stops. Trust me. You will miss the rain if you ever have to spend some time in the Outlands.” She said as she pushed past him into the downpour, not bothering to pull her cloak over her head. She leaned her head back and let the cold water run across her face, laughing, all the while making her way up the watery path.
On the outside, it would seem more like I was the one on foreign ground and not her, but, it would only take a quick glance for anyone to see she wasn’t born here. Her wavy, black hair and deep brown eyes were just two of the obvious cues. Although, what stands out the most is her naturally tan skin which is a rare sight compared to the pale citizens. Nera was an orphan from a village in the Outlands. There had been a raid leaving nothing except the charred remains of what used to be. By the time the Voidwalkers had come across it, everyone was gone except her. When my father came upon her, she had been lying just outside the smoldering remains of a small house. Its roof had given way to the fire. Her face was caked with a thick layer of soot and her skin severely burned along her right side. She had been so close to death my father had overlooked her shallowed breathing. He only returned to her when he heard a faint whimper. That one sound caused him such pain and grief, he knew he wouldn’t leave unless she left with him. They didn’t return home for a few weeks, but he had saved her life. Now all that remains of the small, fragile little girl my father brought back from the dead was her scar. It engulfed the major of her right arm and shoulder with traces of it goes up to her neck with a few small strains, looking more like a spirts hand grasping her neck than a burn scar.
I pull the hood of my cloak tight and follow her. We are behind the bulk of the morning crowd. “Who all do you think will enter today?” Nera said over her shoulder still marching at a steady pace.
“No idea, I doubt many will try this year, I heard Stonewell will be there.” I catch up with her just in time to see the look of excitement flash in her eyes.
“Good, that means it will be fun.” Nera laughed. “I missed it the last time he was here.”
“Good for you maybe, not so much for anyone else who enters.” I shifted my gaze to the people who have slowly grouped around us as we got closer. The cathedral coming into sight as we passed through the market. Vendors always fill the area even more so during the proving. Their shouts fight to be hurried amongst the crowd.
“You’ll be fine. I will be there the whole time, cheering loud enough for you to hear me over everyone else.” As if to prove her point he voice carried over everyone else, I could still hear Nera’s voice with ease.
“Not much of a challenge for a loudmouth like you.” I laughed as she pushed ahead again. “No need to run from the truth Nera.” I took her mocking mumbles as the best response she was going to give. “To be honest, I’m more worried about not enough people qualifying like last time he was here.”
“I doubt it. We have a lot of good hunters in Lindell this year. I know I would enter if I was old enough.” She said with a bit of regret in her voice. “However, It will be my time soon enough.”
“True. He will be a tough fight though, that much is guaranteed.”
“Yeah well, he was one of the first Void Walkers. They all take it as a challenge to make sure as few people pass as possible. You know dad always did.” She said as we reached the wall of people surrounding the cathedral. I couldn’t see her eyes but knew what she was thinking, her posture told it all. This was the first time we have been to the proving without him. We haven’t spoken about him since his death. I haven’t spoken to anyone about him. Part of me wanted to reach out and let her know I felt the pain too. The lack of his presence killed me every day. Yet, another part of me just wants to keep building this wall. It’s easier to hide behind it than to face the fact the last time I saw him was three months. His lose still fresh on my mind every day. She sighed and broke away, pushing her way through the crowd. I know she was hoping I would say something, anything, but I didn’t. So I let her go and didn’t bother giving chase. It’s selfish of me, but I needed to focus, at least that’s what I tell myself.
I make my way around the crowd edging my way to the side. This was where I needed to be. The Hunters entrance, a door not as grand as the massive Ironwood doors of the main entrance. Nor did it carry the intimidating presence the front carried. No, the cathedral had been carved in the mountain itself, making the side entrance more of a small cave than a doorway. I take a deep breath, feeling my heart rate climb as I make my way over. Each step feels like I’m weighed down. The sounds of the crowd behind me have faded. It’s just me in my head now. A war was coming once I step through that door but, I would not bend.
I feel a hand grasp my shoulder snapping me out of my focused march. In my shock, I spin to face them a little faster than I would have liked. The mocking grin on her face told me she knew that she caught me off guard and maybe even scared me a little. “Emily.”
“Jumpy are we?” She laughed, standing as confident as always. I looked down, meeting her dark blue eyes as they beamed with a determined stare. Her short blond hair bounced just above her shoulder, as she laughed. “I was just making sure you were still entering this year and hadn’t chickened out. Although, if you’re that nervous I wouldn’t hold it against you if you backed down.”
“I’d have thought you to be one of the first in there, not skulking around sneaking up on your betters.”
“I was first, just waiting, sizing up my competition. Wanting to see if there would be anyone worth worrying about,” Emily said getting more serious. “There isn’t.”
“Well, I guess I will just have to show you up again.” I mock turning back to the entrance.
“No, I mean it. So far, I’ve counted 19 hunters in full dress not counting you or myself. I would only count 11 of them as a competitor, with most of them only being okay.” I hadn’t noticed until she mentioned it that most of the hunters walking into the cathedral weren’t even carrying a blade and hardly any wore armor. “I’m sure you heard by now, but it’s Stonewell this year. Guess he made a big show last night. He gave a speech on how he wasn’t going to let anyone get through this time. Apparently, he pulled it off in Lockcraven during their Proving.”
“He’s always been the type to put on a show.” I laugh, “I’m just happy to hear that for once the rumors carry some truth.”
“I know the feeling. I was hoping I could go against one of the first, during my Proving.” We made our way towards the doors, most everyone was already inside. “Just make sure you make it. Alright?”
“Is that concern I hear? Emily, are you sure you’re not the nervous one? ”
“I am nervous Thomas, you should be too. It’s different than normal. This year’s provings are nothing like past years. I wasn’t there for his speech but, they changed something this time, everyone has been talking about it.”
“Well, what is it?”
“Just follow me, it will be easier to show you.” She said as we walked through the door. The hunter entrance had three ways to go, straight to the arena, where we’re supposed to be going. A stairwell on the right leads up to the higher levels where Lindell’s leaders spend most of their time. The path we took was the stairwell that ran down below the cathedral. By the time we reached the lowest level, the halls we so dimly lit we were able to hear a pair of voices coming our way before we had even seen them.
Emily quickly pulled me to the left, down a narrow corridor and shoved me against the wall. Her hand slid over my mouth and motioned for me to be quiet. We stood unmoving as the two guards passed by. Even with hardly any light, it was easy to tell they weren’t from Lindell. Their armor bore black and gold trim and showed a small white sun over the chest piece. They were from the capital. She gave me an I told you so look. The capital almost never had its troops outside the city. As they passed we stood in silence waiting until the sound of their footstep faded off into the distance before continuing. We followed the narrow path deeper. It quickly became a seemingly endless maze to me but Emily navigated it with ease, taking corridor after corridor without a moment’s hesitation. We reached a door that was different from any of the others we had passed. Its was braced with heavy iron bars and was a dark brown oak nearing close to black. I reach for the handle only to feel it hold its position, locked.
“What now?” I say in a hushed tone not bothering to hiding the anticipation rising in my voice. I don’t know what lies beyond but I can feel it. Something dark and powerful is on the other side. A few faint voices echo through the door, too faint to understand.
So, when Emily pushes me aside and whispers, “move”, I don’t bother arguing. I hardly even had a chance to notice the small leather pouch Emily had taken out. Let alone the two picks in her hand before she was already working on the lock.
I smiled, “little miss perfect knows how to pick a lock?”
She scowled instead of an answer, she edged the door open much faster than I’d have thought possible. We squeezed through the narrow gap and made our way onto the wooden balcony that surrounded the room. Darkness filled this room to the point that the only visible sights were of the few torches down below us. Each of them was moving around in the hands of more capital guards. My eyes fall onto a guard no older than us. He made his way over to a steel cage, his fist pounds on the side and a screech of something of a nightmare echoes from inside. The guard laughs continuing to pound on the side toying with what lies inside. We might not be able to see into the box but there is no question that it was something from the void. My eyes break away from the young guard and look over the area. The rest of the guards seem to follow his suit checking box after box, dozens lined the room. Each filled with some unknown creature that clawed and screamed for freedom. At the end of the room, I noticed four guards lingering around one box. Emily was right, this year’s Provings were far different than in past years. Knowing we have already spent far too much time down here, we slip back through the door and quickly retreat through the narrow halls.
“What were they doing down there?” I don’t bother speaking softly.
“Something to do with the proving.”
“How did you know they were down there?”
“As I said before, I was the first one here. So, while I waited I wandered the halls waiting for everyone else to show up. That’s when I ran into a couple of the capital guards here. I was curious so I followed them and overheard them talking about the boxes. They said Stonewell wanted them ready before it started.”
Our conversation was cut short by the echo of the war drums. The Proving would start soon, we rushed ahead and burst out into the main hall. My eyes drift to the 16 flags of the great cities as we fall in place behind other hunters on their way in. Each flag hung from golden stakes driven deep into the onyx walls. Next to each flag was a list of names. Every Void Walker, who has died since the war has been listed on these walls displayed next to their home flag. As we reach Lindell’s blue and sliver flag at the end, I stop. Emily doesn’t. She must have known I wanted to stop and see him before going in. She doesn’t wait or even look back. I’m sure others would find it rude, but to me this the best gesture someone could do. She could have easily stopped and asked if I was okay making me repeat the same lines of “I’m okay” or “He died a hero” or “His memory will be honored.” I’ve said them all more times than I could count. So, it was nice for once just to get a chance to be at peace with him. I lay my head against the wall and run my fingers across the engraving of his name. I push the thoughts of what Emily and I saw away.
“You always told me you couldn’t wait until my Proving. Well, here we are, you better be ready for a show.” I smile pulling my head off the wall. “I’ll make sure to make you proud.” I walk down the hall, only the echo of my boots accompanying me. After a few flights of stairs, I reach the last doorway before the Proving ground. The massive dirt-floored arena was lined with stone walls and hundreds of seats. Not one of which, was empty. The crowd’s cheers echoed so loud it was impossible to hear anything else. The other hunters stood in the center of the ring. I fall in place and watched as the door at the other side of the arena opened and Stonewell and Elder Frost walked out. The crowd’s cheering erupted to a new level. To me, it all faded. I couldn’t hear anything except my heart thundering away, a warning of the battle about to come.









Interesting chapter. Despite the relatively few grammar issues it still flowed well, and was a good read. Keep up the good work.
Running this through Grammarly would take you about 10 minutes and fix maybe 80% of your grammar problems. I'd also try to cut as much as possible; it feels really long and slow for a first chapter.
That said, your first paragraph kind of hooked me. I think you have a pretty natural tone. Keep working on the grammar. Keep practicing. Listen to more audiobooks. I think you could really write something great even.
Thank you very much. I will try that I'm glad you like it hope you keep reading. I will try to read your stuff tomorrow if I get a chance!