What is your opinion?
High Potential
"In love. I enjoy a good written book about fantasy creatures. Can't wait to see how it all ends. "
A difficult but gripping read...
"I've always been a diehard SF lover, not having read as much Fantasy themed work as other genres but, this work of Erotica fae', just takes the biscuit and clearly stands out from most of the figurative Inkitt/Wattpad crowd that I have so far read. The quality of their writing and their style reminds me in some aspects of Mervyn Peake's second book in the Gormenghast novels entitled 'Titus Alone' in the author's almost claustrophobic attention to detail especially with regard to descriptions of the terrible strength of characters' emotions and their psychological and spiritual landscapes almost as if Author-san are attempting to describe a realistic interpretation of Purgatory or Naraka.! I normally steer well clear of anything that even vaguely touches on the 'horrific' as I don't consider myself to be masochistic (except where the rearing of children is concerned! ) so whilst I can appreciate the skills of the author, i can't say that I full-joyed this work - so far (Ch 1-11)"
Unprecedented
"I am not such a huge fan of fantasy, but this story has its own exception. The plot is something I have never read before, but, not even for a bit, I didn't feel lost, the way you described each scene - I could visualize them, feel their emotions, understand the characters. There were some grammatical issues, but since, other readers already mentioned them, I don't want to mention it again. I loved how the plot gradually progressed in a smooth flow- and that was a great aspect of this story. Overall, a great story. Good work! Keep writing, author. Keep shining."
Captivating
"Wow! This is truly an amazing read! As fantasy is one of my favourite genres I really enjoyed this story so much. Interesting characters and an amazing plot that make it feel more like an epic. Absolutely fantastic book. Give us more author!!! "
Great book
"I really like this book! To be honest, I usually don't read erotic books but I enjoyed this one. The plot and style are really good. Keep up the good work!!"
I’m shookith
"I have deep rooted love of erotic fantasy and this book even incomplete hits every mark I desire in a book. It’s been awhile since multiple characters in one story have captivated me. Generally when I review a story they then just simply go into my reviewed reading list to never be picked up again. This one however will be going to my favorites of favorites reading list as well as moan library so that I can better keep up with how it progresses. I thank the author for recommending their work. This is book is quality that I would purchase a hard copy for. It’s not the run of the mill romance novel that we all purchase a paperback of at Walmart to pass time not this is a story I’d go to a book store in search of a hard copy for. I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if this turns into a series in fact I hope it dose just as much as I hope to see this physically published some day."
Great writing!!
"This story is amazing. And I love theme and the writing style. The prose is well written too. Odette jerked back... this para was a bit confusing. I think it was the mention of motive for Lilith to use her power wasn't clear enough. I did not quite get why her emotions flared though. But the magik system seems to have its own creative origins. I get a sense that it a huge world with complex characters and themes, and your depictions have made it easy to understand it right away. The dialogues were perfect and gave good impression of the characters."
Enthralling
"This story was fantastic. I don't yet see the connection between choosing all the biblical character names, but hopefully it is on the way! Good strong heroine and characters to follow and I enjoyed the LBGT aspect very much."
Amazing
"Story is amazing Your idea is really good But there are a little places in your story where I found myself lost Make sure you change that And conversations...I couldn't understand who said and to whom they said it to! But overall the story was lit I could actually feel the story"
This Story Has Potential
"Mandatory disclaimer: I'm not a professional writer or editor. Please take my advice with a grain of salt. I'll start by providing some specific comments on how I think your writing can improve, then I'll rewrite the first couple of paragraphs to try and highlight those comments. While our writing styles differ, I hope I am able to help you. If I come off as presumptuous, or snotty, please know that is not the spirit in which this review is intended. I want to first address the fact that this is a rough draft. I understand the desire to put your words out into the world as soon as they hit the page, and I certainly know that no first draft is complete, or even terribly clean. But, the way your story is presented is somewhat confusing. It is hard to follow because of the way the information is presented. It feels disorganized, which is likely because you are a discovery writer, like me. You start with a blank page, then just let it rip. Take some time when you complete a chapter to read it thoroughly and restructure as needed, even if you don't change the words. When you have dialogue, make sure to format it correctly, and separate it from the rest of the prose. This is one of the most common issues I come across. If you use an action as dialogue attribution, only use a sentence or two. Any more than that, and it muddles the text. You can also use small actions in a separate paragraph to break up large blocks of dialogue and give the reader time to rest. Another common issue I notice is misplaced and overdone descriptions. Only give the reader what is necessary for the scene and let them fill in the blanks. Pepper in more detail as the story unfolds. It lets the reader discover the character organically, and doesn't drag down the experience. Also, make sure there is a reason for describing something other than, hey look at this. Use actions and thoughts as a vehicle to engage the reader in the description rather than have them skip over it entirely. Make them so afraid they're going to miss something that they don't want to skim a single sentence. I'm as guilty of this as anyone, and I fight hard to prevent it. I want to take a moment to commend you on one aspect of writing that so many newcomers and experienced writers fail at. Your restraint with regard to adverbs is admirable. I couldn't sense the presence of them, which means you are doing an excellent job with that. When adverbs are overdone, they become distracting. Excellent work there. Going back to dialogue for a moment, make sure you let the reader know who is speaking as early as is practical. You want the reader to focus on the words, not trying to figure who's saying them. Honestly, if you cleared up those few issues, mainly the structure and formatting, you would have a great story. I can tell you've put time into the plot, backstory, and characters. Just put that same passion into the technical aspect of the process, and you'll have a page-turner. I really want to read the rest of this story, and hope you go back over it. Now, I'm going to rewrite a small portion of it. When I was a new writer, having someone rewrite my words and showing me how much better they could be (please don't take that the wrong way) was invaluable. Example: "Must this cursed thing be so tight?" I swore. Odette pulled the strings of the corset tighter. "You have to look like a princess. Which means you can't go gallivanting around in trousers." I slapped her hand away and didn't miss the look of annoyance on her face. Oh well, she'll get over it, I thought. When I checked my reflection in the mirror I saw the corset had already done its job. I now sported a perfect hourglass figure. Could Odette have been screwing with me, pulling on the strings like that.? No, she wasn't that brazen. I looked to the immaculate emerald green gown, the same color as my eyes. I would assuredly look like a princess in that thing, but my nobility was only skin deep. It was my gifts that made me special, not my lineage. A princess on the outside, a worthless peasant on the inside. Of course, in the realm, it was what people saw that mattered. I'll stop there because it, hopefully, illustrates my points. Those paragraphs flow from one to another and don't feel disjointed. Also, the dialogue formatting lets you experience the dialogue. One other thing I want to point out is how much more detail I added. All of what I wrote came from just the first paragraph of your story. By adding small actions and thoughts you can create a greater depth of character. I extrapolated Lilith's behavior from what I read in the chapter, and if I got her personality right that is a credit to you. I definitely feel like I got a sense of her character. Before I end this review I want to call your attention to one more thing. Be very careful of flashbacks. It's okay to use them on occasion, but make sure you segue into them as gracefully as possible, Just titling a section of that chapter,Odette's Memories, isn't going to cut it. I hope I don't sound immodest here, but refer to chapter one of Stone Singer and see how I worked in Aedon's flashback. It's not the only way to it, to be sure, but it's the way that worked for me. I truly hope you go back over this story. It is intriguing, and I very much want to continue reading it!"
Kingdoms of lawlessness
"A very interesting storyline that captures attention, the characters have very strong personalities and the imagination of the magical kingdom is very well described "
