Within Me

Staring off into the darkness, calmness overtaking me I stay still breathing at a steady pace. Rows and rows of an everlasting blooming field of flowers rise underneath me. Although I do not know where I am, I keep calm not caring at all.

I hear movement around me, but I do not see a thing. The calmness I had a few seconds ago replaces with nervousness and fear. I open my mouth to yell for help, but for some reason I can’t. Nothing comes out, not even a plain ole whisper.

Something, no, someone comes to view. All I want is to run towards him and ask for help, but I am frozen in place. I can’t seem to move or speak. When the person is in full view my eyes widen and my mouth hangs open in surprise.

Demon, he is a demon. Maybe I shouldn’t have been afraid but something about his eyes caused a shiver to run down my spine. He looks about ready to kill me. I think to myself, not knowing his true intentions. He steps forward, his obsidian black eyes look straight towards me as if he was staring right into my soul.

Two more demons step forward, one on each side of him. This time they were both women, unlike the male in the middle. The woman on his right side speaks, breaking the silence that filled the air.

“We are going to kill you.” Her icy blue eyes glared at me and her body was positioned for an attack; as if hunting for prey and I was the feast. Immediately all three demons simultaneously recited those haunting words.

They started walking towards me like soldiers on command. I wanted to run away from them, to at least move an inch, but I couldn’t! Dammit, I couldn’t run, yell, or even fight. I was hopeless. ‘No, no, no, no, no!’ I kept thinking to myself. They were so close, ready to kill me.

“NOOO!!!” I yelled breathlessly. I was drenched in sweat from head to toe. My heart was beating a mile per second. I couldn’t speak, think, or breathe normally. I felt exhausted, my body aching. Suddenly my door burst open and in came my brother. He looked at me with panic, yet knowing, expression.

“Jewl, are you okay?” He questioned with concern while walking towards me, and sitting next to me on my bed. Though he knows the answer, he never fails to ask. I was shaking and unable to respond. Jacob put his arms around me in an effort to try and comfort me. I want to say that it worked, that I felt safe wrapped in his arms, but I would be lying. It only calmed me slightly.

“Jewl, please. It’s over you don’t have to worry about them anymore.” Jacob said. The thing is I’ve been having the same nightmare ever since the incident. There wasn’t a single day when I could just sleep peacefully. I was and still am too scared and haunted by those memories.

“You’re wrong, it’s not over they’re still out there” I whisper, not being able to hold back the whimpers escaping me. I started shedding tears uncontrollably, and despite my efforts to stop the crying, it was impossible. WEAK. That’s what I am, weak. Jacob tightened his grip on me, holding me closer.

“Jewl, they are not going to find us. Okay? We are far away from them now. Everything is going to be okay.” Jacob said trying to convince me, maybe even trying to convince himself. I was dying to object and tell him otherwise. That if we could have just killed them all, we wouldn’t be hiding. But instead, we were cowards and ran, we didn’t fight back at all. We almost died, and we didn’t do anything about it. We didn’t stop them.

My mother and Jacob seem to think that just by running away and hiding, we’re safe from those god awful demons that tried to kill us. They’re wrong though, we are not safe. We will never be safe as long as they live. Those vile creatures are going to find us sooner or later. Nothing is okay. I nodded, even though I knew he was wrong.

“Okay, now get ready it’s already six in the morning. We need to get ready for school. By the way thanks for waking me up twenty minutes early.” Jacob said sarcastically, looking at the clock on my nightstand and back to me. Before he left he turned around and gave me a look of concern, I smiled trying to hide what I was truly feeling inside. With that, he left me alone in my room leaving me to my own thoughts, my own demons.

I was no longer shaking or crying on the outside, but inside I was screaming with everything I had like a woman possessed.

***

Standing in front of my full-length mirror, I stared at myself. Looking at my fangs morphing back to regular human teeth, my eyes going back to their normal soft blue color, and actually looking like a human with raven black hair and porcelain white skin, instead of a disgusting creature. Instead of a monster. Because that’s what I am, a monster. For me being a vampire isn’t a gift, it’s a curse. I’ve always dreaded being one, never once have I been happy about being born an immortal. I turn away from the mirror, feeling disgusted with the monster I saw and always will see.

Finally, I decided to go downstairs and get some breakfast, hoping not to get lost on the way. I’m still adjusting to the new house, and to the new land. Everything was just so different for me. Living in the land of Ambrogio all my life and all of a sudden moving to Thekla isn’t exactly easy.

Ambrogio was my entire life, I lived in the city of Vasile close to the lake Icaro. Vasile was peaceful and beautiful, until it wasn’t, not for us at least. The event that had us running for our lives brought us across the ocean to Thekla, a land that was majorly populated by humans and governed by them. Unlike Ambrogio being an absolute monarchy, Thekla was represented by the people. However, the laws of Ambrogio were never the reason why we ran it was simply because of our own enemies.

The smell of delicious food made it easy to find the kitchen since I only had to follow the sweet smell of greasy bacon.

“What’s on your mind sweetheart?” I heard my mom ask me from the kitchen counter already munching on her breakfast. “At this point, I have no idea.” I respond.

“Jewl, don’t say that. We’ll make it through this, all of us.” She seemed like she wanted to continue but something stopped her. All of us. Her smile never slipping from her face to try and encourage me but her eyes were telling me something different. And it broke my heart seeing my mother like this but she would never want us to worry about her. This is why she snapped back into reality and looked at me giving me a once over to try and change our conversation into something she knows I detest.

“Jewl, love, my beautiful daughter. Are you going like that to your first day of school?” I couldn’t help but notice the teasing judgment in her voice. She always does this, judging my sense of style.

My mom and I couldn’t be any more opposite to each other. She’s the woman with long blonde luscious hair with a more girly fashion sense. I am the daughter with a wardrobe full of dark colors accompanied by my contrasting dark locks.

We look more like sisters than mother and daughter because of our inability to age. Although I still had a few more years until I reached the age of maturity. My mother, on the other hand, was in her forties and still looked like a twenty-five-year-old model. Which is exactly why we’re pretending to be sisters in this new town. So they won’t be able to find us.

Finally, she notices how I ignored her comment and shakes her head, meaning she’ll let me be. Thank god, because I am not in the mood to change. And besides, I liked what I was wearing. She continued eating her breakfast while sliding my plate towards me. Sometimes I wonder if I’m actually her daughter. I think I might be adopted. If that’s the reason, then everything would make so much more sense.

Before I can bite into my bacon and egg biscuit a loud honking stops me. “Oh that must be your brother, he’s waiting for you outside. Now GO! You don’t want to be late for school.” My mom walks towards me and starts pushing me out the door. “But my food, mom no, please! I need my bacon!” I pleaded as she finally pushed me all the way to my brother’s car while managing to also throw my backpack at me.

“Jewl, I love you baby but you are going to be late! Just drink this if you’re so hungry.” She said as she shoved a black closed lid cup to me. Blood. How did I not notice the smell before and how long had she been carrying that? Nevertheless, I took the drink and finally got into the car, giving Jacob a nod for him to start driving.

***

The building before us seemed about ready to tumble down to ashes. It was old, really old, that was for sure. Add my old school to the list of things I miss from my old life.

“So this is Garrison High School. Go hawks I guess.” Jacob said interrupting my thoughts.

“If we step in there we’ll be squashed to death before first period starts. I say we leave and tell mom our lives were in danger, that way she won’t kill us for skipping our first day.” I mean technically we wouldn’t be lying our lives would be in danger if we stepped into that death trap.

Jacob turned to look at me and I could immediately tell he seemed to want to go along with my plan, but of course, the golden boy did not.

“Wait, hold on a second. Did I just hear Jewl Stone say she wanted to skip class!” Jacob said in disbelief and emphasizing the word class. Why is it such a surprise for him that I said that? I’m not the good girl here, I’m not the ‘good’ in anything.

“Yeah, why?” I mean yeah I might have had perfect attendance in our old school but I never had any good reason to skip class over there. However, right now in this place, there are a million reasons that are good enough for me to leave at this very moment. I miss my friends, my teachers, and of course I miss having a building that won’t fall on us at any given moment. My heart clenches at the one thing I miss the most, more like the one person. I shake my head and come back to reality. I don’t want to remember him, it breaks me every time I think of Elian.

“Because! You never miss school and when I say never I mean NEVER! You even went to school when your fangs were finally coming in and no vampire goes to school when those little shits come in.” Jacob said, whispering the last part. I give him my deadliest look to intimidate him, but to my amazing luck it does the opposite. He just smiles, dimples showing and shakes his head, which causes his mop of curls to bounce. Jacob and his stupid cheekiness.

“I hate you, I really do.” I tell him even though it’s a total and complete lie. Yeah, he annoys the crap out of me most of the time, but I could never hate my ogre of a brother.

“You love me!” I take it back I don’t love him.

“I can’t wait until you find your beloved, so you can bother her and not me.” I mutter, and I was not lying this time. Somewhere out there, is a poor girl destined to be with my brother. I feel sorry for her already.

Soulmates, what a funny thing they are, our other half of our soul. When we find them we are completed, we are whole, we are infinitely in euphoria. Everyone has a soulmate but not everyone is capable of finding them. Vampires are one of the few species that are able to find the person they are fated to be with, with just touch, eye contact, and their scent. And once a vampire has found their beloved they complete the ritual between soulmates. Unlike werewolves, vampires don’t mark each other but they do exchange blood with their beloved’s the moment they are in the middle of sexual intimacy.

I’m not ready for that sort of commitment and I know for sure that Jacob isn’t either but I need this idiot to bother someone else other than me.

“Oh come on Jewl! We all know that even then, I’m still going to be around to make your life complete!” That’s it I’m going back to Ambrogio and commit treason against whoever the hell is on the throne so I can get executed. Anything is better than being stuck in the presence of this atrocity.

“You won’t be around if I tear your head from your body and feed it to the wolves.” I snap.

“I don’t think werewolves eat vampires Jewl but even if they did you, my lovely sister, would never to that to your only brother.” With that, he gives me a bone-crushing hug using his supernatural strength.

“Let go of me, now! Or I will kick you as hard as I can, and you know I can kick pretty hard, where the sun doesn’t shine.” Jacob let go of me faster than light itself as soon as the words left my mouth.

“Okay now that you’re behaving like an actual adult lets go get our schedule before we end up being late.” Maybe I am the good girl. What have I become?

“Where’s the front office anyway?” Well since it’s called front office, I’m guessing it’s at the entrance of the school. I gave Jacob a dumb look.

“I’m honestly questioning how you managed to get through school all of these years.” Maybe I was being a little too harsh on him now but he is my brother. It’s practically inscribed in the sibling rule book that I have to bully him once in a while.

“Through hard work and dedication cheating isn’t as easy as people make it out to be.” Jacob says with a determined look embedded on his face.

We’re greeted by a sweet old lady that smiles at us as we step inside the office. “May I help you with anything?” She asks.

“Yeah we’re new here, and we came to collect our schedules and locker numbers. ” Jacob told the old lady in front of us giving her his own charming smile. Once we gave her our names and she handed us everything that we needed Jacob and I made our way to the lockers. And because fate is always against me my locker ended up being right next to my brother’s.

Well, there goes my social life. The only thing that is giving me hope now is the fact that Jacob and I don’t have any classes together. Unless this dimwit is taking Junior classes then I should be saved.

“Okay so we didn’t get any indication on how to find our classes, apparently we have to figure this out on our own. Well, we’re screwed.” Jacob said sounding disappointed. We could have gotten a map of the school and Jacob would still get lost.

“You mean you’re screwed because I am not going to help you in any way. Now goodbye.” I said already walking away to find my first class, which was Calculus. Great, my first period is hell.

“Who says I need your help anyway!” I hear Jacob yell behind me. I turn around to respond to him but the shock I feel from what I’m seeing stops me.

We just arrived here not half an hour ago and Jacob already had a group of girls around him all wanting to help him. I think I just threw up a little. Rolling my eyes I turn back around and continue the search to find my classes.

As my walking continues I can’t help but start feeling more lost than I already was, frustrated I look back down to my schedule once more. As if looking at it again was going to help me, nothing changed from the last time I looked at it. Too distracted by my schedule I didn’t see the door I was walking by all of a sudden slam open, hitting me in the process.

In fact, the force was so strong that it threw me down on the floor. And I thought Jacob was going to be the cause of my social suicide, leave it to a fucking door. Actually leave to the person who slammed the door on me!

“Why does it hurt so much?” I groan. I’m a vampire for god’s sake a door shouldn’t be able to hurt me let alone bring me down on my ass. And what the hell is that smell, I never thought I’d find vanilla to be so intoxicating.

“I am so sorry, here let me help you.” I hear a voice say sending shivers through my spine. That’s strange. The smell of vanilla keeps me from responding to the angelic voice. Instead, I close my eyes and inhale as deeply as I can taking in the mesmerizing scent. My eyes snap open once I realize the smell is coming from the stranger standing before my laying body on the floor.

I look up to find the stranger’s honey-colored eyes already staring back at me and that’s when I feel my heart stop completely. His eyes, they were absolutely beautiful. A brown color so light they appeared to be golden like honey. Honey eyes. Honey, honey, honey.

A smile started to form its way on to my face and I couldn’t help the thought that was now on an infinite loop in my head. My beloved.

“Hi, I’m Logan.” His voice was a perfect harmony to my ears and the smile he displayed had me in a trance a witch could envy.

“My beloved”