What is your opinion?
This is beautiful.
"A wonderful story; it resonates with the soul and shakes the foundations of the heart. Better yet, it hurts when you read it. You allow your readers to go on an emotional journey of their own, as well as experiencing the pain of the characters. This is innovative and interesting - although I would expect no less from your writing. You are brilliant! I loved it."
Very Descriptive
"I liked most about this short story is how descriptive you were throughout. You could really feel the emotion you were trying to portray. The only thing, like I mentioned in comments, is you need to go through and revise it. Make grammer corrections to make it truly complete. Other then that good job!"
Satiate
"You know what satiate means, right? Your stories make me satiate, they are simply great. I love how intruiging it was and how beautifully you portreyed the emotions. well done"
Strong Start
"Great start! The sensory details about the lead character is really good. Seeing more details of the setting would add additional color to the story. The sequence of events was clear, and created a lot of good questions that made me want to keep reading: Why does he have stomach pain? What's in the diary? The thing that took me out of the story was not being certain about the motivation of the focal character. Grammar will improve with rewrites, but make sure to pay close attention to phrasing (which words goes before or after another)."
A Moment in a Father-and-Son Relationship
"The rage and struggle were real in this story. Although there was no explanation about what had happened to the boy, I believe that you wanted to deliver the chaotic feeling instead of the reason behind. I was surprised to know that the boy was only 10 years old. I thought he would be a teenager. The use of italic showed something different, I got confused at some, because it looked like the boy's thoughts sometimes. So I think it wouldn't hurt to emphasize that those sentences were from the past. I like the ending. It showed that the relationship between the boy and his father might change in the future. Good job! Regards, Kei Angelus"
Good story
"I like your story. It is very much captivating, highly riveting. Your grammar is good. Tense is also good."
