If we met in Heaven, would you remember our paths intertwined?

No one could ever be ready for anything. No matter how much you remind yourself every day “This is it. It’s happening.” You will never be ready.

There I stand by your bedside with that annoying smile of yours. Have I mentioned how much I hated it. The smile that started it all.

The smile that got me to be your friend. You were the nice kid; I was the mean one. You were the masochist for approaching me out of everyone.

That personality, god have I mentioned how much you irritate me? You were so nice. Too nice. It cost you an arrow to the knee.

Your stubbornness, maybe that’s what I hated most of all. I pushed you away yet you kept coming back, breaking down my wall.

How dare you. I say. Even as I walked through these white halls, looking for your door. How dare you.

How dare you for coming into my life like it was nothing,

For leaving a footprint. Disgusting.

How dare you give me hopes and dreams,

For telling me that we would forever be a team.

How dare you lie in that bed, with a tube down your neck.

For acting like you were never a wreck.

Your kindness was cruelty. I never felt safe because deep inside I knew. How could you not tell me what was actually hurting you.

You think you saved me. Saved me from what? You were my drug. Don’t act so smug.

You walked into my world, with death on your shoulder. Leaving your last bits of life until I grow older, like I was going to be your proof of existence as you blurred. And out of everyone, I wonder why did it have to be me. Carrying your burden; hearing your last words slurred.

I blamed you. Cursed you. Never once mourned for you. When the monitor went silent you left me, don’t you dare think I would feel carefree. I had to continue life as if it was the same, I couldn’t even cry without being covered in shame.

No one knew you, no one knew us. Dear Daniel, you really threw me under the bus.

Yet I stayed. Your curse of life into my veins heavily weighed.

I started to smile. It was your smile.

I started to laugh. With your laugh.

I started to see life with eyes. Obviously through yours, not mine.

Maybe one day I will understand why.

How your death brought me back to life.

How I live, just to remember you deep inside.

Can I touch others’ lives just like how you touched mine.

If we met in heaven, would you remember that our paths intertwined?