What is your opinion?
Intriguing!
"It's really intriguing. The way the author writes is amazing. i like there's a lot in the story, capturing the attention of everyone. Keep it up!"
Fantastic work
" I loved the concept and I am dying for more. Please update fast. You are an amazing writer I want more and more with each chapter 😍😍❤❤"
Intriguing beginning that speaks of a great story to come
"I am delighted to see that you have a way with words. I enjoyed the way you weaved words around. You left me already believing this is going to be a very good story when you finish it. I can see Clara is holding on to love, even in the midst of disappointment and fading hope. You started with a gory opening, which i thought was interested, and it drew me in. However, Ma, you might want to take note of these few things i noticed. 1. It was kind of confusing for me to know who is who, as i read through the story's beginning. You might want to make it clear to the reader from the beginning, who those people speaking clearly are. 2. I found it hard to know if the person telling the story is a male or female. You might want to clarify this as well. 3. Is this about two gay lovers? If so, make it clear. 4. Try to be consistent in the tenses you use. If you want to tell the story using past tense, then be consistent. If you want to tell it in present tense, then be consistent. Mixing up both tenses works against clarity. You want your readers to be clear of what they are reading about to some extent, right from the start. And when you get comfortable doing that, then you can go on to experiment new ways to create suspense in your readers, right from the start, by giving away very little or even nothing. That comes with practice. I would suggest you keep it simple and straight forward in your early stories. I think your concept has the potential to deliver an interesting story when you're done. Please try to keep the above suggestions in mind as you rework this chapter. By the way, i love the descriptive skill you have shown. I see you have strength in that area. Keep writing!"
Good story line and I'd like to read what happens next
"I like the story line so far and the mystery surrounding why her boyfriend vanished. I wonder if it's somehow tied to the murders and the mystery guy who just bumped into her at the end of chapter 2. I can see how others are confused with chapter 1 because there's a lot of "backstory" and flashbacks crammed into a single chapter. She doesn't just go over one memory, she goes over several, one right after the other. In addition, there's the traveling but we're not clear on why they did all the traveling. I think this story shows a lot of promise and interesting story line. Just needs to be edited and restructured in a way that the reader can seemlinessly move from one memory to the next without getting lost in chapter 1."
Nice
"I really like the way you are playing with words. The plot of the story is interesting. I am eager to know what will happen in the next chapter. But there are some of the things I will like to suggest. 1. It's a bit confusing. I am unable to tell who are you referring to. 2. Please clarify the names of the character. 3. And also please give a brief description about the different characters "
