What is your opinion?
Sweet
"I really like your writing style and your premise. There are a few spelling and grammar errors , but those are easy fixes with a good editor/beta. Overall, I think it is a good story, and it could go far."
Absolutely love!
"I just finished the second chapter and am completely captivated! I love your story line and characters! Definitely going to continue reading! great work!"
Great!
"I really really liked the book. The writing style was capturing and the plot was something new too. As someone who doesn't read fantasy genre, I think the author managed to impress me. Although, there were a few problems that I would like to point out. First, there are some grammatical, puntuation and contextual errors, which can be rectified easily after editing. But what I see as a significant problem is that it was a little slow paced. The descriptions were smooth and apt, but they seemed to be longer than they should be. Hence, it resulted in slowing down the story. Then there were also parts where it got a little confusing. So I suggest you go through it once you're done with the first draft. Apart from it, I think that it's a great book and has the power to allure even someone who isn't interested or unfamiliar with the genre. Keep going!"
Good Book
"This is a good book, however, there seems to be many grammar mistakes. For example, in chapter two (Winter Vandelann) you wrote: "'Sorry, I'm in the way." He uttered and stood aside with his eyes aimed at the ground.'" Instead, you should write: "'Sorry, I'm in the way," he uttered and stood aside with his eyes aimed at the ground.'" I recommend you reread your book carefully to correct all of these mistakes. Otherwise, this is a good book."
team irena 100%
"I really liked the opening, didn't see the fantasy angle coming, but when it did it was pretty compelling. It's great that Asmodian is a conflicted character and not just a straight-forward villain. You've got the recipe for a classic love triangle here. The Land of Forgotten is very freaky and well-imagined. Reminded me of Hellraiser. Nice job contrasting its atmosphere with that of the natural world. Yes, there are the grammatical mistakes one always has in an early draft, but once those are polished up I think it will be a seamless read. The characters all have trains of thought unique to their voice, so I can tell you really got to know them. Keep it coming!"
Great ideas. Needs Revisions & Closure
"The story here is a good one and kept me engaged throughout. It was worth the read. I felt the author did a great job with the college setting and setting up some of the conflict in the story. The initial threads of the love story between Blake and Winter was compelling. I wish I'd seen more of Winter's grandfather and scenes of what happened to her family and why. That said, I was never quite sure why Winter had been 'chosen.' Was it something about her family? Another reason? Maybe I missed it (?) My suggestion is to expand on this or ensure it's answered in this book or in the next story. Also, for such a good story, my recommendation is to let it sit for a while and then go back and check for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and style. There is a lot of cleaning and revising to be done in this book. So much that, for me, it distracted me from the story. This includes, among other things, misplaced modifiers and characters whose name spellings change (Marien vs. Marian). The setting also left me with questions. The story starts with a baseball game. However, it seems to be winter (snow on the ground, ice). Is it the end of fall semester? Baseball is a spring sport (usually even intramural baseball would be in spring). At what time of year is this story happening? Finally, most important for me, the cliffhanger ending felt too abrupt. It's fine to end with a cliffhanger that will lead to another novel (or perhaps this novel is unfinished?). If that's the case, a chapter focused on denoument would be helpful. Perhaps go back to what's happening with Winter and show what's on her mind as she struggles with deciding between Blake and Tanner. I wish the author the best in revising."
Great
"There Are some minor things, like others said, the beginning was a bit hard to comprehend. The dream was also like that, but its suppose to have some mystery to it as well right? Though, the characters are Really well described, and Amazing! The build up of them, is something I can't do ahaha. The story is well described, like setting and all of that good stuff. Blake, is my fav. I hope you can end the trade with a review on my book as well! Anyway its Great! Continue on like this! Best Of Luck, ~Aki"
A Story with Potential
"This isn't my usual genre of choice but I was pleasantly surprised to find myself enjoying the tale. There's an interesting story here and it's well worth a read. I think there are issues with pacing - sometimes the story seems to be held up by a lot of detail that could be omitted or shortened and I'd like to see the characters strengthened so that each comes across quite distinctly. Kendricks achieves this brilliantly. I think it was Mickey Spillane who said that an opening chapter sells this book and the last chapter sells the next one. Cynical maybe but probably true. That first chapter really needs to bite. A vigorous, maybe even ruthless edit would be a good next step. The story's there. The telling just needs a little polish. The 'threes' I've rated the book shouldn't be seen as a heavy criticism. It won't take much to turn them into fours and fives. Good luck with it. ."
A really good fantasy romance book! :)
"The first thing I like about your book is that you had easy vocabulary that is easy for anyone to read but I do suggest a little work on the grammar. I love how your characters are evolving and maybe a little work would be necessary on the details of the scenes. I love the plot and I'm looking forward to reading more. I'd surely recommend this book to fantasy romance lovers. Keep writing :)"
Very well written!
"I like your style! It's so easy to read and I can sit back and enjoy the story without having an over-wordy headache which I hate! I did notice a few things but it's not a huge deal. I will definitely be reading more! 1. Using the old looking in a mirror to describe what a character looks like is old and a lot of agents don't like that. 2. I agree with the other reviews, I didn't understand the dream. Which is surprising because the gut of your story is a breeze! 3. When Simon starts talking there needs to be a break to signify someone different is talking.. 4. I wish this chapter was longer. It ends as soon as it begins. or... I'll just shut up and keep reading :)"
Winter
"The beginning of the story was a bit confusing as there wasn't a lot in the blurb. There were a couple awkward phrased sentences that made it hard to understand everything completely. I wanted to know why Blake was so infatuated with Winter in the beginning. I would love to see how you continue to create their relationship. I also thought you did a great job with the pace of the story and I liked the idea of Blake and the world you created. (Don't want to spoil anything for potential readers) Overall I think your plot is great, just need to fix the flow of some chapters."
Color me interested.
"On the whole, I found Ms. Cole's work very interesting. A lot is going on in this story, but I was particularly intrigued by the mystery surrounding the title character--Winter Vandelaan herself. I also believe that Ms. Cole's writing style is very romantic in the old sense of the word, which is to say that the words themselves border upon poetic at times, especially when it comes to describing the various characters. I do have a few criticisms though: while I am definitely interested by the plot, I have to say that it took some careful reading on my part to decipher it. I found myself speeding through sections, then having to re-read them ; now, that could be due to my own issues reading, but I also felt that the writing style needs a little work in order to make it more clear. That being said, I would definitely recommend this story to anyone seeking a lovely, ever-s0-slightly dark romance, with a touch of mystery to keep things interesting."
