What is your opinion?
Birth of the free bird
"This was a sweet story wish it didnt end ,finch and the boys were great .I really enjoyed this alot ."
Very good
"Good spooky and interesting description, but I think you could lose the last line to make things a little more mysterious or change murder to ‘terrible consequences’ or something. I loved the sudden escalation in the prologue. In the first paragraph, the bird description is very clear but you use the word small 2 times. I'd change one to another word. Your story has good pacing, it flows so well and you really can imagine the clear picture with the brilliant and vivid descriptions. The bits of detail about the different boys while they are talking is good too because they don't slow things down but set them apart from one another. In the bit where Edmond has gone to go back to his father’s stall you dip into present tense when the story is in past tense. In chapter 2, in the first paragraph, the line ‘motioning Edmond to be quiet’ I feel isn't needed because the bit before that with Thomas tells the reader he is telling Edmond to be quiet. Love the description about the girl, but the line ‘inspecting the strange girl he never knew.’ would be better as ‘inspecting the strange girl.’ - you have already let the reader now he has never seen the girl before. There are some sentences that are a little long, especially at the start of An Oasis 1 and 2. Commas and full stops making them into smaller sentences can easily sort that. The line ‘Even though Thomas was meant it to be a question, he certainty that gained from the evidence he saw around him, had made his sentence came out like a mere statement.’ needs looking at as it doesn't flow well or make much sense. ‘Even though Thomas meant for it to be a question, the feeling of certainty he gained from seeing the evidence around him had made him say it more like a mere statement.’ could work better. I love Finch’s character and you showed her well. In Grounded - 1 the paragraph: ‘He was too busy with his own mind that he failed to notice Finch’s horrified expression. Her eyes were widened in fear. “No!” She shrieked in horror.’ Would be better as: ‘He was too busy with his own thoughts to notice Finch’s horrified expressions or her wide eyes or parted mouth. “No!” she shrieked.’ It flows smoother, you have a new line for a new speaker and you don't repeat horror. There are a couple of times where you don't start a new line for a new speaker, but not too much that it is difficult to follow conversations. Also the question mark at the end of the speech ‘The stew tastes amazing Ms. Jill?’ Needs to be an exclamation mark. And when Neil says “William got governess?” I think there should be an ‘a’ in there making it “William got a governess?”. Also grounded - 2 is the same chapter as grounded - 1. I think you may have published them twice by accident. The mystery and fantasy of this story will really keep the reader gripped."
Interesting
"This book is very interesting.At first i didnt understand the prologue but after reading i understood it.I love it and the way you describe Finch and the boys is really awesome. Welldone.Cant wait for the next chapter"
Birth of The Free Bird
"This is very interesting book and it is narrated very beautifully 😍"
OH NO! CLIFFHANGER!!!!
"This story BLEW MY MIND! What an adventure. The plot and pace was well maintained. I was literally sucked into a world of such imagination. You have definately earned yourself a new fan! WELL DONE!"
Amazing story!!
"The author is a great writer while explaining everything that was going on in each paragraph. Even though I did not finish the story yet, it's already a amazing story!! It's beautiful and sad but I love beautiful and saddened stories. Highly recommend! 👍🌹"
Please Read This Story
"Dont want to give away to much...but this is a good story with a lot of potential. The author does a great job of age of innocents meets reality. It seems to have a touch of the Lord of the Flies...but in a unique way you can not only get a feel for the characters...but see a reflection in your life. Please take a chance and read this story. Thank you."
Great Story
"Loved this, I really loved the characters especially finch I thought the flow of everything was great and it was easy to follow. Look forward to reading more."
Birth of a free bird review
"An excellent flowing story with unique characters that complete each other. I love the emotion behind it, the emotion of discovering the world as it is - real and full of unknown. The writer underlines the power inside us - the power to adapt to the real world. You will feel, live and suffer with the characters, brilliantly depicted by the writer. Good job 😊"
Review
"I love the premise of this story. It immerses the reader into its tale. These first 30pg made me want to know what happens next. I believe this book will appeal to readers of YA and mystery. A few oversights need editing, though. "
Birth of The Free Bird
"At first I found this book extremely descriptive and that's really good, it's just that I wasn't really a fan of so much description, but I'm used to it now and I'm enjoying it. Really puts the image in the head. Keep it up, I'm loving it ❤️"
Amazing
"Really enjoyed the descriptive language used in the book - it helps me visualise the story and escape into this fairytale world. Grammar and punctuation were on point. Keep up the good work! :) I have yet to finish the story, but after a few chapters, I'm already hooked! I can't wait to finish it soon! You should go read it now!!!"
My review
"It's a great story. The plot is very different and interesting. I love it. Great work. 👏👏"
Captivating Story
"I like the storyline and I'm curious to know what will happen if Finch leaves the forest. There are a few errors that need to be corrected if the author just reads through the work again. It's a great story for those who love adventure and mystery. "
