What is your opinion?
Thrilling
"I don't usually read short stories, however, this one got me hooked. The author did a good job of portraying the main character's personality, it's about Joyce that goes down a rough path of murder. I won't spoil anything here. I recommend it to whoever likes to feel a good thrill."
Inmate 1374: Joyce
"Really liked the story. Sad"
I love the plot
"The story overall was really good, but the part where Joyce's fingerprints were traced doesn't really make sense. How can a 14 year old have fingerprints already in the records when they're a juvenile? The plot was really good and I love the story."
Great job!
"A really good story! I loved Joyce's personality! You did an amazing job, keep writing! peace out, Pepper"
A-M-A-Z-N-I-N-G
"Wow, amazing, great job!"
Interesting read.
"Not the type of story I would normally read but i am glad I did. I would have liked to have delved into the psychology of her a bit more and her feelings/lack of feelings. This could deffinately be expanded as this has more of a super quick read feel, than a complete story. Well done though."
Beautiful
"Love this!"
Sensational
"I love your writing here - accessible, hard-hitting, no-nonsense writing that punches you in the gut, grips you by the throat, and doesn't let go. I write the occasional thriller novella, and this is how a thriller should be - so changing, constantly shifting from scene to scene to build interest, intrigue and suspense. Suggestion: try to shorten some of your phrases the "had been" phrases, the drawn out sentences are great but shortening and sharpening your pen tip will add even more power. In one word: sensational!"
Thought Provoking 🧐
"I’d like to start by saying I’m impressed with the length/flow. Most short stories seem very, very rushed. Not this one! The pace matched the plot, and kept me on the edge of my seat with every chapter. Perfect thriller for Halloween 😁🍁🎃 There were parts that confused me; But I don’t believe in spoilers SO. The author knows, I’ve left my comments at the end of such chapters. It wasn’t critical enough for me to knock any stars off overall though. If you’re looking for just a quick little bite of a short story, you won’t be disappointed! 👌🏻"
Book
"This is one of my favorite books because I love thriller and it is so interesting."
Remorseless
"For a short story, this work captured the elements for the genre it was going for and target audience. We follow Joyce our fallen child who goes along a string of a few murders. Each killing, an elaborate consequence that would feed the next. Up until the end, that is of course to her demise. To begin Thriller is not my go to genre but I can respect the elements that do follow afterwards. Such as leading into a mystery or horror. Which in some cases this story may or could of delved into. In general review and personal preference however I think the story itself was served efficiently. The idea of unanswered questions or opened ended questions tend to be served at the back end of the story. Or at least to what a motive may be. Getting readers to question what or why, to anything within said story captivates what a short story should be. (Fiction usualy of course at least in this genre that I have seen). As far as nitpicks for me personally I would of liked to see the author slow down a bit espial on the killings. Perhaps the anticipation before the kill, excitement, dread etc. Letting the reader feel what the Protag feels gives a sense of realism that brings home that thriller aspect. Only take away I give from there is show vs tell and give us more detail for each scene. All in all great work, I can see this ( if you plan to) turning into a longer book that follows a string of murders from the murderer perspective. If kept as is still a good read if added alongside other thriller short stories. 5/5 overall 3/5 on written style for the pacing and details. Would read again. Good work."
Inmate #1374
"I love the story line but I don't like the unrealistic way Joyce kills at will. A great effort!"
Inmate 1374
"Great read! Suspenseful and keeps you wanting more! "
Really great!
"This is defiantly a unique story, I liked how you told things from the murderer's perspective. I loved Joyce's personality, I think you could stand to build her character o bit more and your grammar could use some work, but I think this is a great start to what could be an amazing book."
Inmate#1374
" Overall it was a great story and I liked it. I was lying I would tell you I wasn't thrilled by this story. You are doing great and keep it up. I wish you all the best for your work.🤗🤗 "
Good story
"I like how you were able to explain the main characters feelings, it was relatable. Awesome story."
Inmate #1374 :Joyce
"This is not the genre I usually read but the storyline was very interesting and I was engaged until it finished. It was unpredictable and finished with a bang! Amazing work!"
Nice short story!
"I know this was short and for the contest, but you did a great job of getting in a whole story in just over 10k words! This also has potential to expand and add more to it if you wanted - rework some things, add more killings, etc but it doesn't need anything else as it tells a complete story just how it is. I think you did a great job in writing and getting everything across to the reader. It was enjoyable to read. Keep up the good work!"
Without a doubt THE best book I've read on Inkitt
"This book was honestly amazing in so many different ways. I loved the concept of a inmate remembering their life and what got them in there. I loved the questions that the narrator asked themselves and I loved their personality. The characters in this story were fantastic and well-written. I noticed one thing though I kept seeing scarred instead of scared and I was wondering if this was intentional or not. My only real problem with the story is that the main character likes grape jelly over strawberry jelly which immediately shows mental instability."
Different
"Nice short story bit different from normal murder story's I've read in the past. Sad little story on all the characters "
