Just Friends

My skin prickled as his hand slowly moved up my cleavage, resting on the side of my neck. His deep hazel eyes scanned my whole face, before he licked his full bottom lip, driving me wild but he knew that.

“You can come out now,” I whispered, trying to keep my composure but my heart was beating against his chest.

“Nah, I’m good,” his voice was cheeky, kissing my forehead. We had both already cum, five minutes ago but his dick was still inside me, leaning on his elbow, our faces inches apart.

“Max, you’re hurting me,” I admitted and he moved back, before rolling onto the bed next to me. His eyes were closed as I moved my head to the side, looking at his beautiful body. His chest and shoulders were broad, muscular, just like his strong things and my eyes went to his dick, thick, even soft. Max cleared his throat and my eyes darted to his face, my favourite thing about him. Gorgeous brown skin, the deepest hazel eyes I had ever seen and his smile was cheeky and lit up his face, which it currently was doing.

“Can I help you with something?” He asked, his smile still there and I slowly got out of bed, rolling my eyes, mostly at myself.

“I don’t know if I can keep doing this,” I mumbled, finding my clothes and throwing them on, before I changed my mind.

“Katya, you always say this,” Max scoffed and I turned to face him, his eyes closed, his hands on the back of his head. It pissed me off that he couldn’t even be bothered to look at me during this conversation, even though it didn’t surprise me. “I’ll see you here at the same time tomorrow,” he chuckled and I launched my jumper at his face in frustration.

“You are such an arsehole-”

“Yep, you say that every time too,” he sat up, throwing my jumper back at me. I caught it, the anger slowly building in me and I was tempted to wrap it around his throat. Me and Max had been doing this song and dance for ten years, since we took each other’s virginity at sixteen. Ten years of casual sex, with no sign of any relationship had destroyed me, but for some reason, I could not stop going back to Max fucking Knight.

“Are you sleeping with other people?” I blurted out the question, Max’s head going back in shock.

“Why do you ask?” He looked at me up and down and I really wished he would put some clothes on, his dick still out and I managed to look into his eyes, my hands on my hips.

“Why do I ask?” I huffed, knowing I now clearly did not want to hear the answer.

“We’re not together Katya,” his voice was stern and it broke my heart, making me take a step back towards his bedroom door.

“We have sex a lot, without a condom,” I sighed, looking at the floor because my heart couldn’t take it, I couldn’t take staring at his perfect face, one I wished would love me, even though I knew that was so pathetic.

“Who I sleep with is none of your business,” he said bluntly and that stung, my chest getting a little tighter. “But I will say, you are the only woman I fuck bare back,” he shrugged as I looked up at him and I felt so foolish, so weak as a woman and I hated myself for it. Max truly thought that statement was meant to be some compliment, some bone he was throwing me, probably to try and shut me up.

“I don’t sleep with anyone else,” I admitted and he got off the bed, his brow crossing as he put his boxers back on, thankfully.

“You haven’t slept with anybody else, ever?” He asked and I shook my head, the tears burning the back of my throat. “Well, that’s on you but you know I don’t want a relationship,” he put his t-shirt back on and I tried not to groan, rolling my shoulders back. The most pathetic thing was I knew that, Max had told me multiple times that he didn’t want a relationship but here I was, his cum still inside me. “If you do then you need to find someone who will give you that,” he spoke again, when my words didn’t form. Desperately I stared into his eyes, trying to seek out any emotion in them, but nothing, just blank.

“It’s like you don’t even give a fuck about me,” my voice broke and I kicked myself for it, the embarrassment creeping over my cheeks. Max laughed, a sound I normally loved, a beautiful sound but now, now it just kicked me when I was already down.

“Of course I give a shit about you, we’ve been best friends since we were kids,” he smiled but I refused to return it. Max’s dad and mine had been best friends since they met at university and once we were born, nine months apart, we spent every celebration, random Sunday and Christmas, together. I grew up with him and he was my best friend, always had been. One day, when we were sixteen and horny, curiosity got the better of us and we slept together. Max then became an addiction to me, one I could never shake, even though it hurt me. Any other man that ever had approached me in ten years, I had turned down, because I had the hope that one day Max would change his mind. His face still showed no emotion and I was tired, exhausted actually, pretending that I didn’t have feelings for him. I loved him and it killed me. My heart was hammering against my chest, my mouth opening before my brain could stop me.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” he smiled and I shook my head, taking a step closer to him.

“No, I mean I’m in love with you,” I spat out, watching his face drop and my heart shattered.

“Katya, this isn’t going to be what you want, I’m sorry,” he whispered and his words were like a bullet to my chest, the lump in my throat thick. Before he could see my tears, I quickly left his bedroom, running down the stairs. I heard his footsteps behind me and as I got to the front door, he grabbed the top of my arm, pulling me to face him.

“Katya, please don’t do this, don’t fuck up what we have,” he rushed out and I ripped his hand off me, opening his front door.

“We don’t have anything Max,” my voice shook, the tears seconds from falling but I wanted to keep the last shred of my dignity.

“What are you talking about?” He threw his hands out. “You’re my best friend you know this and we have amazing sex-”

“It’s not enough for me, sorry,” I mumbled, marching towards my car.

“I’ll call you!” Max shouted at me and I slammed the door shut, turning my ignition on and gripping my steering wheel as the tears came, streaming down my face. Quickly, I looked over at his door, it shut, him no where to be seen and I slammed my forehead onto my steering wheel, sobbing my eyes out because he didn’t give a fuck about me and I was second guessing if he ever did.