First interesting novel in a long time

"After reading a lot of books and novels i just could not find anything interesting to the moment i read this masterpiece."

"null"

High School Wars

"Loved it 👌👌👌👌 A bit different with lots of twists and turns 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏"

A REVIEW FROM MY FRIEND, JULIAN SANTIAGO

"I do love me some meta humor and this this has that and is absolutely absurd all around, which aids the humor as well as the action. My only real issues, since you want honesty, are as follows: Sometimes you use a bit too much description especially on characters and setting pieces, sometimes there are a few tense mix-ups or awkward word errors, such as in ch 5 where "proceeded" really isn't needed and the wording implied that she was knocked unconscious by asphyxiation but she clearly wasn't, also words like "Redirected" and "Makeshift" don't need hyphens. On a more positive note: the action scenes have tension, which is important, and are quite fun and there is variety in the humor, which is good and made me snicker more than once. Also the protagonist is sympathetic. Which is a feat, considering she doesn't say anything. So despite the few issues I liked it. (This review was e-mailed to me by my best friend, Julian. He couldn't post his review because of an unknown error, so I copy-and-pasted his review onto here for him. I DID NOT WRITE THIS REVIEW.)"

Review in Progress

"This is a very interesting story from a first glance! I can honestly say I am excited to demolish the rest of this story hopefully today. I first looked at the reviews you received from writing this story and for the most part, I have to agree with them. You introduced an info dump in the prologue. I recognize it because I do them myself, not intentionally. If you could seamlessly break it up into many small bits and introduce them slowly in the story, then this story would improve drastically without the prologue. Not that the prologue is not interesting. I feel like you could do a lot more with that. Your blurb sounds very exciting and grabbed me in for the ride immediately. It is disappointing to see the prologue follow after (info dump) although it was very entertaining to read. Your first chapter and second chapter are very impressive in description, on the contrary lacking in genuine conversation. On the note with Amanda, I love this character and how she doesn't talk like what the other reviewer said. She is so different from other characters I have embarked on a journey with. I don't think I can write realistically without conversation that describes the characters. It is very nice how you use other characters to describe Amanda. What you really need to work on is the realistic parts of your story, specifically conversations and the interactions between a specific character with a specific career. I have not read your entire story so the rating stays as a three for your writing style at the time being. Overall, good job!"

Good overall, but could use some work

"I found your story yesterday and was immediately enchanted by the humor of the book. However, I feel like you spend a bit too much time on describing everything to me and not enough time on the characters' actions. You also have a tendency to leave in lots of run-on sentences; a quick read-over should be able to solve that. Otherwise, it's a great story! (I also love that you used Russell Crowe as a narrator for the first chapter.)"

First Impression

"My first impression after reading your prologue, which I agree is a little unnecessary, though entertaining because of it being with Russell Crowe's voice, is that you could really stand to proofread and edit a little more. I totally get that it's difficult to catch mistakes when it's your own work, but for me this has read like a rough draft rather than a final product. If you'd like someone to edit/proofread for you, I'd be glad to help you for sure; I've done it in the past for others and they have been pleased with my suggestions, even if they didn't always go with my minor changes. However, I think you have an awesome premise for the story so far and I'm looking forward to reading the rest very soon. Keep it up! Jason"

tongue in cheek opening

"Opening works because it’s fairy tongue in cheek and self references the fact that it is an info dump. That said, it is an info dump and a lot of that might be lost on the reader and even off putting to some. The fact that it’s a bit comedic might divide your readership a bit, but I personally am a fan. The pacing of the first few chapters is a bit slow but the action quickly picks up. I would work on strengthening them. Your prologue sets a tone that the opening few chapters don’t seem to match. Since this does have a fair bit of action in it I would recommend giving more detail to that. In the end battle with the Empress is a good start but I’m sure you can make it even better with a bit of work. Some things to work on. A little too much description when introducing characters. Information is good, but find a way to present it more organically than just outright stating it every time. Sometimes you switched between the present and the past tense. At times the dialogue is a bit awkward and unnatural sounding. I wouldn’t put everything the empress says in uppercase, just using an exclamation point would be enough. Also try speaking it out loud to make sure it sounds realistic. On that note, some of your dialogue is improperly punctuated. It’s something I have a lot of trouble with as well. Lots of guides online to help. A few read through and you can probably find all of them and fix that. Getting another person to help beta might be helpful as well. I believe there is potential here and you have an interesting premise. Good luck!"