Guardian

Screams, cries, and sobs of agony; they tortured me, they tormented me, they plagued me like the brackish taste of tears on your tongue. They turned me against myself and threatened to break me into a million unrecognizable fragments like a puzzle made up of mismatched pieces. The images were vivid and the rasps of pain were wretched. Ragged breaths, and an accelerated heartbeat, sweaty palms, and a broken body. The fear and pain was enough to push someone over the edge and that is exactly what it had done.

Her warm blood stained the floor in a pool of sorrow and shame. The colour of scarlet seared itself into my brain as her life was caught, suspended by a thin thread as she ground the blade deeper into the ivory flesh of her wrists. Tears clouded her eyes and poured down her ruddy cheeks as they threatened to fall on me as well. Her fear bubbled up inside my chest as well as the grief and anguish that she felt submersed in the pit of her stomach. She felt alone, she felt broken and torn down. Her emotions flooded through my veins and clouded me every thought.

Crumbling to my knees I pressed my palms flat over my ears to try and stop the screaming and whimpers of agony. It was no use. The screams were coming from inside.

The sound of slashing flesh filled my senses once again. She was almost gone; almost beyond saving. She would bleed out shortly. The pounding of her heart soon became too much to bare. I cringed as my breathing turned ragged and hoarse, catching in my throat. A burning sensation spiraled down my arms and through my hands. My flesh bubbled under the unpleasant manifestation.

With a clatter the knife fell and so did her weakened body. Mine soon followed as I collapsed into a pile of emotions and grief stricken guilt.

Frail and unconscious she laid suffused in her blood. Pools spilled from each wrist, trickling across the cold floor outlining her body in her own mortality.

“Jeremiah,” I hissed, grinding the flats of my palms into my eyes. “There’s nothing you can do.” My body shook, muscles contracted and stiffened. There was nothing I could do. It was not my job, it was not my responsibility. It was not who I was, but nothing could change the fact that I wanted it to be who I was. I wanted it to be my responsibility. I wanted it to be my job.

Sirens wailed off in the distance as an incoherent female voice filled my mind. Arms cradled the body of the comatose girl. Sobs racked her thin frame. She was a motherly figure. Not my mother; her mother.

Chapter One

Rain splattered against the windowpanes of my grade eleven English classroom. It came down in heavy sheets pounding with a seemingly relentless force. The cloud covered sky darkened the room giving it an eerie feeling; though school usually held that feeling for me.

English was not one of my strong suits and I was glad the semester was almost over. In another few weeks it would be summer time; my time to do what I wanted, my time and no one else’s. My time however was seemingly unexciting as well. I didn’t do much though that was fine with me. I wasn’t a partier or a traveler or a shopper. I liked alone time, though I would often get too lonely and my thoughts would consume me, spiraling me deeper into depression. I sighed, focusing back on the task at hand.

The lights were all off as Ms. Greenwood showed a movie on the projector which hummed silently as it flicked through the scenes. My mind was wandering too much for me to really comprehend what the movie was about. Sun shone on the screen where as my world was being filled with loud cracks of thunder and the occasional cough from the back row.

My old wooden desk sat off to the left side of the class beside the windows, almost halfway between the front and the back of the room. Pencil marks and carvings of names covered the top along with a few holes drilled in by student’s pencils. The school was in need of new desks for a while now, but they seemed to think a desk was good until the legs rotted right off and could no longer stand on its own. They were like that with chairs as well as pencil sharpeners. If you needed your pencil sharpened and didn’t have your own sharpener you were pretty well out of luck because the old metal ones stationed on the ends of the chalk board rails would only do more damage than good; though people never ceased trying. The school was not air-conditioned, though it was heated in the winter. If you wanted cold air you had to open the windows or turn on one of the small desk top fans that hardly blew any air at all and what it did manage was rather warm and only made matters worse, like today.

The air was hot and stale, and the rain had made it humid and sticky. My long dark brown hair clung to my back and my legs stuck to the blue plastic chair. The heat made it hard to breathe and the room smelled like a menagerie of un-showered teenage boys and the air freshener on the back table that was long past its expiry date and had accumulated a sour smell.

The clock above the front chalk board read quarter after eleven. Fifteen more minutes until lunch, but it would feel like an eternity; it always did.

The tall lanky boy off to my right had passed out with his head on his desk and his friend behind him was seeing how many spit balls he could get to stick to his back. He had at least five so far and was racking up more with his undeniable determination. The maturity level of my class was so low that it shocked me sometimes. I was in academic; the highest level of the classes, but the rest of my class didn’t act like they were.

Laughter erupted on the opposite side of the class and I looked over to see a group of the so called popular girls staring at me. I had no idea what they had against me, but it had being going on since elementary school and I knew it would continue far into the future.

“Shhh,” Mrs. Greenwood’s voice filled the air in an attempt to hush the laughter and low snickering. She sat at the back of the room behind her old metal desk and I assumed she was marking papers or deciding what else we had to do before the end of the semester: deciding what torture she could put us through. If it involved a partner I was screwed.

You could always tell when the semester was almost over by how messy Mrs. Greenwood’s desk was. The farther along in the semester the more mess had accumulated and the more papers were strewn around. At this point in time it looked like a tornado had had its way with the mountains of paper the occasional tissue.

I turned to the clock. Ten minutes left.

Glancing behind me for what I thought was going to be a brief second; I locked eyes with the new exchange student. He sat leaned back in his chair, looking like he didn’t have a care in the world. His crystalline blue eyes held mine and it was all I could do to pull away and look back up to the screen. He showed up about a week or two ago, but I’m not sure where from. I would have thought he should have been in a grade twelve class or out of school for that matter. To make it short he looked too old for grade eleven.

I could feel his eyes on my back as I tried to concentrate on the movie screen and it was all I could do to stop myself from turning around to look at him again. He seemed to be one of those guys that thought they were better than everyone else. He’s the kind of boy that all of the other guys wanted to be like and all of the girls wanted to be with. I’ve never talked to him, but every time I see him I feel like he’s here for some purpose. I feel drawn to him. Maybe it’s just his personality or his stunning blue eyes hidden beneath his dark mop of hair. I had to agree with the rest of the girls when it came to him; he was very attractive, but he also knew that and wouldn’t let you forget.

Five minutes left, though I felt like it would take forever.

Putting my elbow onto the desktop I propped my chin on it and focused on the screen. The dialog blurred in my head forming incoherent thoughts no matter how hard I tried to concentrate and the scenery turned into blobs of mismatched colour. God I hoped there was not going to be an assignment on this.

Finally the sound of the lunch bell filled my ears. It was one of the happiest sounds for me.

Grabbing my books I shoved them into my backpack just as Mrs. Greenwood flipped on the lights. Standing I headed towards the door, but before I knew what was happening my body was tumbling towards the sticky tile floor. My heart started to palpitate and my stomach felt like it was in my throat. My elbow collided with the corner of a desk and my head soon hit the floor with a loud thud as my vision went blurry and dotted with floating white spots. Pain spread through my cheek and a burning sensation began even though the tiles were cool against my sweat dampened skin. I heard the laughter of the class as I tried my best to sit up. I looked around to see Emily ... standing off beside me. She pulled her leg back and let out a bark of laughter, flipping her platinum blonde curls back out of her face.

“What have I ever done to you?” My voice came out shaky and I felt a hot wet tear roll down the side of my cheek, burning my skin. This wasn’t the first time she had tripped me on purpose nor will it probably be the last.

Gathering my backpack up off of the ground I pushed myself to my feet and ran out of the classroom. I could hear the laughter erupting at my pain at some rude comments being yelled; only stopping when I was out of earshot, which did not mean they actually stopped, just meaning I could no longer hear them. There was a ringing in my ears and a sharp pain in my arm, but I forced myself to keep going.

After running to the nearest girls’ bathroom, I checked under all of the stalls to make sure I was alone before locking the main door. Leaning up against the wall by the sink I fished my phone out of my back pocket and dialed my mom’s cell number. Holding it to my ear I listened to the dial tone before being sent to voice mail. Tears streamed from my eyes. I just wanted out of here.

Looking in the mirror I grabbed a paper towel and wipe off the makeup dripping down my face. Slinging my backpack over my shoulder I unlocked the door and head out into the crowded hall way. I get body checked into a wall of lockers by a grade twelve boy who then looks at me like it was my fault. Slipping into the crowd of people I make it to the front door and push it open. I guess I was going to have to walk home. I live about a fifteen minute walk away, but I would rather walk in the rain than be at school at this point in time.

Taking two steps at I time I head down to the concrete slab that shows the way to the school. Weaving in and out of all of the cars I finally made it to the sidewalk taking a left, heading in the direction of my house. My shoes sloshed in the puddles covering the side walk as rain drenched my hair. A flash of lightning shot off in the distance like a camera flash, illuminating my surroundings for a brief second before sending it back into dreariness. A passing car driving to close to the sidewalk hit a puddle and before I could get out of the way, a spray of muddy water hit my face. At that point in time I didn’t think my day could get any worse. I just wanted to make it home. Rain was sheeting down on top of me, but I was already as wet as I could get. Keeping my head down I pushed myself forward walking as fast as I possibly could. Tires screeched up beside me before coming to a haltering stop.

“Get in,” a voice echoed from the cars rolled down window. I look over, but it’s too dark to see in. I kept going, but the black Chevy Impala rolled forward matching my pace. I quickened my steps, but so did the car. Wind howled, blasting warm air into my face as fear bubbled up inside me, clutching at my stomach. Trees swayed on either side of the road and puddles almost up to my ankles filled my shoes with water. “Just get in,” the voice hissed. Keeping my head down I kept walking, scared to think of what might happen next. The car door slammed shut and a hand griped my arm. I tried to shake it loose, but it was no use. I looked up to see who had grabbed me and I stare into familiar blue eyes.

“What do you want?” My voice shook. His grip loosened and I tried to side step him, but he blocked my path with his body.

“I figured you wouldn’t want to walk home in the rain.”

“And why would you of all people come to help me?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His dark hair now soaked through with water stuck to his forehead.

“Like you need me to explain.” He crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at me. His black T-shirt clung to his body and I could see his muscles through the thin cotton.

“Try me.”

“Okay fine. All the people at school set out with a goal to humiliate me on a daily basis. They get a kick out of making my life hell and I’m sick and tired of it.” My voice came out loud and frustrated. I was yelling to be heard over the rain.

“What if I’m not like them.”

“Why would you be any different?”

“Just get in the car.”

“No!” My vision was being blurred by the downpour of rain and my ears were being filled with the constant sound of splashing raindrops on the cement walkway. I would be almost home by now if it weren’t for the new kid showing up in my path.

“I’m just offering you a ride home that’s all.” His 6′2" build towered over me and made me feel small and weak.

“I don’t want your help.” A loud crack of thunder sounded overhead and I involuntarily jumped, taking a step forward closer to him.

“Will you get in the car now?” he laughed. I shook my head, but he didn’t seem to notice as he grabbed my arm and pulled me around the front of the car to the passenger door. He opened it and gestured for me to get in. Staring up at him he let go of my arm. I had the urge to run, but I knew he would catch up to me with his car.

The rain had sent a chill through my body and I shuttered against the cold. Taking a seat inside the car he shut the door and I watched as he walked around the front and got into the driver’s seat. I was scared. I had no idea who this kid was besides the fact that he was in my English class.

“Are you cold?” His eyes scanned up and down my body and without me answering he reached up and turned the dial that controlled the heat. Hot air blasted into my face. “I’m Jesse by the way.”

“Charlotte.” He nodded and put the car into gear.

“Directions?”

“What?” I shivered.

“Directions; if I’m going to take you home I’m going to need to know how to get there.” His eyes were focused on the road ahead.

“Take the next right and my house is at the end of the road.” Within minutes he pulled the car into the driveway of my house. Its redbrick siding made it look old from the outside. All of the lights were out and the windows looked like empty eyes. My mom wasn’t home as usual and I was dreading being alone though I also didn’t want to be around anyone.

I was about to grab the handle to open up the door when Jesse’s voice broke the silence.

“What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?” I turned to face him in the seat with a sigh. The custom black leather interior stuck to the back of my wet legs making a ripping sound as I turned.

“It’s lunch time and your rushing home with all of your school stuff so obviously you’re not going back.”

“Like you actually care what’s going on.” I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back against the seat. The rain hadn’t let up at all and a puddle of water had formed on the seat from my soaked clothes. He didn’t seem to care about it though so I didn’t either. Why he was helping me I had no idea. He was probably dared by one of the other boys to go and help out the school freak. It’s happened before so I wasn’t going to let my guard down and let them humiliate me even more. I let out a deep sigh and grabbed a better hold onto my backpack. Turning I swung the car door open and slammed it behind me once I was out. I used the headlights as my guide as I walked up the cement walkway to the front porch quickly making my way up the steps and across the deck to the front door. An overhang covered the deck and shielded me from the rain, but I could still hear it and the thunder rumbling in the sky. Dropping my backpack to the floor I fished in my back pocket for the house key. My heart stuttered in my chest as I realized it wasn’t there. Great I thought now how am I going to get in? Collapsing in front of the door I buried my face in my hands and let the tears fall. Cold had seeped back into my body and I shivered uncontrollably. I would have to wait until my mom got home until I could get into the house and that could end up being ten o’clock or later if she even came home tonight. She had been known to not come home for a week at a time.

The deck rattled and creaked. I looked up to see a dark shadow standing on the stairs. It took a step forward and Jesse’s face came into view. I leaned up against the door for support. The splintered wood of the deck dug into the back of my legs and water from my hair dripped down my face.

“Why didn’t you leave? Did you come back for pictures to show to your friends?” He shook his head and let out a sigh before walking over beside me. There was a metallic clicking before he turned and headed back down the steps to his car. His long legs took big strides and his jeans were soaked through with rain. I looked up to see what he had done. In the key slot on the door knob was my house key. It must have fallen out of my pocket in his car. I looked back down the driveway and his car was nowhere to be seen. I stood and let myself into the house. The AC had been on and cold air hit my face. I shivered and grabbed a sweater off of the hook by the door. My backpack was soaked and so was I, but I was more worried about my school books. Kicking off my wet shoes, I shoved them against the wall with my foot and made my way to the dining room table. I unzipped my backpack with some difficulty and a few choice words. Emptying out the contents onto the table I looked to see how much damage there was. My math and science books were wet around the corners but they would dry and be okay. My binder was dripping wet on the outside, but it was a vinyl material and none of the papers on the inside would be wet. My journal on the other hand was completely soaked and when I opened the cover I could see that almost all of the ink had been smeared and the papers were matted together.

Laying out my books so they would dry I headed into the living room off to my left and up the carpeted stairs to my room. The sweater I had pulled on was now mostly soaked through and I slipped it off after closing the door to my room behind me. Pulling some dry clothed from my closet I changed and climbed into bed. Soon I was warm and my mind shut down letting me forget the humiliation of the day. Now I was home and there was no one here to make my day any worse than it already was. Sleep seemed to be my only true friend when all was said and done. It was the only thing that couldn’t hurt me. It was the only time when I could have some happiness.