Rules of Engagement

Don’t get me wrong; I know that in the real world there really are drunken mistakes that are only made to look like drunken mistakes. It’s a romance movie cliché ; a trope straight out of that novel you read when you relax on your bed after a long day’s work.

Girl has a crush on a guy? Get drunk, and kiss him!

Girl wants to make her ex jealous? Down a couple of shots of tequila, grab the hottest guy in the room and kiss him senseless!

Literally, a drunken kiss is the cliché of all clichés . A drunken kiss inside an elevator after hours sounds like the start of a Hallmark movie. But I swear to God, this time it really, really was an accident.

I stared at the man in front of me, my lips still against his own. He looked down meeting my eyes, a look of pure utter confusion on his face. His brows furrowed, and after a second, his blue eyes started darting left and right, as if looking for a way to escape.

Oh shit. Right. Talia, you’re still on him.

“I am--,” I pulled away quickly, raising my hands as I plastered myself against the opposite elevator wall. “-- so, so sorry.”

The man on the opposite side of the elevator straightened up, still staring at me with a look that was now borderline incredulous. From this angle, I was finally able to get a good look at him. He was handsome, that’s for sure, with his tall built and wide shoulders. Dark hair styled to perfection, and a pair of piercing blue eyes looking straight at me. His jaw was strong, his five o’clock shadow only accentuating his looks. Dressed in a dark grey suit with a black tie, I definitely could see him coming straight out of an episode of The Bachelor.

“What are you doing here this late?” Bachelor Guy asked, looking at me -- well, now glaring at me. I squinted my eyes, the alcohol that was giving me a light buzz making my vision glassy. Yep, he was definitely glaring at me. “And why are you coming from the CEO’s floor?”

“I, uh... I just forget to grab some files,” I answered, still squinting at him, “I’m sorry, you are? I’ve never seen you here before.”

He scoffed, “I’m the man you sexually assaulted.”

“I did not!” I gasped, my hand coming up to cover my lips. I looked at him and saw him roll his eyes, “I said I was sorry! I didn’t mean to lip-bump you!”

“Lip-bump me?” Bachelor Guy asked, laughing humorlessly, “What are we, twelve? Any contact that is inappropriate and without consent is sexual harrassment. Even if the victim is a man.”

“But--,”

“Are you drunk?” He asked, stepping closer to me and taking a sniff. As he stood close to me, I couldn’t help but notice just how tall he was. I stood at 5 feet and 4 inches, but with my 4-inch heels I stood at a good 5′8". Even still, Bachelor Guy was still a good head taller than me and maybe if we had met each other under far better circumstances, maybe I would have found him attractive.

“I am not dr--”

He took another sniff close to me, “Well, you definitely smell like you are.”

“Look,” I raised a hand to stop him from going any further, “I just came from happy hour, alright? And I was on my way home when I remembered that I needed to finish reviewing some papers for a meeting tomorrow,” I stopped and walked to his side of the elevator, raising a finger to his chest, “So, as I clearly said, I really am sorry for lip-bumping you. I am not drunk, and I swear to God this is not one of those seduction scheme cliches that always seem to lead to a wild night in bed.”

Even if you do look like you’d give me a hell of a night. I added mentally.

“You’re tipsy, then,” He answered, shaking his head, “Considering how you just brought up the topic of sex in an elevator with your only companion being a man.”

“Tipsy, I am,” I nodded before looking at him from under my lashes, “But seriously, I really did not mean to kiss you. I just lost my balance in these godforsaken heels and landed on your lips. I am definitely not trying to seduce you.”

“Cause you’re tipsy,” He added, rolling his eyes and walking towards the elevator pannel, “What floor are you headed?”

“Ground floor. I’m going home.”

Bachelor Guy pressed the “G” button and stepped back, giving me another look. This time, though, it was a long look. His eyes -- his annoyingly gorgeous blue eyes -- stayed on my legs.

And stayed.

I gave him a look and laughed bitterly, “You know what? This is sexual harrassment, too.”

His eyes shot straight up to meet mine. His brows furrowed, “Excuse me?”

“I mean,” I laughed humorlessly, gesturing at him with my hand, “Look at you. You are literally checking me out!”

He coughed out, “I was not--”

“I was not checking you out,” I cut in, rolling my eyes. “Please, that is literally what every man caught oggling at a women says.”

“Listen to me--”

“No, you listen,” I interrupted, pointing a finger to his chest, “I may be tipsy, fine, but I know what you’re doing. You’re thinking, ‘Hey, this woman literally threw herself at me so, technically, she’s looking for a good time, right?’" I poked his chest hard, “I’ll have you know that I absolutely did not throw myself at you. I tripped, and you happened to be in the way. Our lips bumped. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“I wasn’t checking you out!” He growled out, grabbing my finger as it came in for another hard poke, “I’ll have you know that--”

“Then what do you call staring at my legs?” I asked, raising a brow. I swung one out casually, looking at my pointed nude heels, “You must have been checking me out, seeing as how I know I look damn good in these heels.”

“Will you just--”

I raised a finger up, a thought occuring to me, “Unless, of course, you were admiring my heels?" I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth. I leaned in closer to him, lowering my voice, “Do you cross-dress?"

“What?” He spat out, looking at me like I was an abomination.

“Or are do you have some kind of foot fetish?” I asked again, this time genuinely interested. I stepped closer him, my eyes wide, “I feel like you’re the type to have some kind of fetish. You can tell me; I won’t judge.”

“Enough!” He yelled, his deep voice echoing throughout the empty elevator. I quickly shut my mouth as soon as he glared down on me from his height. He took a deep breath, “Woman, do you ever stop talking?"

“Talia.”

A muscle worked on his jaw, “What?”

“My name,” I cleared my throat, “My name is Attalia, but most people call me Talia. I don’t appreciate being called ‘woman.’”

“Well, I don’t appreciate being called a cross-dresser and a man with a foot fetish in the span of a single elevator ride.”

“I didn’t exactly say--”

Bachelor Guy held up a hand, “Just. Stop. Talking.”

I shut up.

He continued, glaring at me, “I was going to say that I wasn’t checking you out.” He pointed at my legs, “I was just about to tell you that you have a run up your stockings.”

Oh.

Oh.

I bent to look down my legs to see what he was talking about. And lo and behold, there was indeed a run up the side of my stockings running from my ankle all the way up to mid-calf.

Shit.

I closed my eyes as I felt the blood rush up to my face. There was no way I could face him now. Maybe I could keep bending down to keep from looking at his face? God, what he must think of me.

Please, somebody just kill me now. Or maybe the world would just swallow me up, right here, right now.

“Did you see it?” God, he sounds so smug. And hot. But still, smug.

“Yep,” I answered, still refusing to straighten up. My back was starting to kill me, but I can live with the pain if it means I never have to see Bachelor Guy’s face ever again.

He chuckled, “So, why are you still looking down?”

“Cause I can’t look at you right now.”

“If I promise to turn away until we get out of the elevator, will you straighten up?”

The answer came from her lips faster than she could think, “Definitely.”

He shuffled for a bit and spoke after a second, his voice sounding like he was way too amused by the situation, “Okay, I’m not looking at you.”

Oh, thank God.

“Thank you so mu--,” I trailed off as I met his amused blue eyes as soon as I straightened up. The blood rushed to my cheeks all at once as my eyes widened. I brought my hands to my heated cheeks as I closed my eyes, “I am so sorry.”

“You seem to like that word quite a lot.”

I looked away from him and to the numbers counting down above the elevator doors. 10th floor. Stupid 65-storey building.

“I should probably let you know,” I started, looking at him for a split second before turning back to the elevator doors, “that as soon as those doors open, I am out of here.”

He ignored me, “Do you ramble this much all the time?”

“I mean, as you can remember, I am drunk right now--”

“I thought you weren’t drunk.”

I shook my head, still not looking at him. God, please let the ground open up and swallow me whole. “Forget everything I said. I’m drunk. Incredibly drunk. Unbelievably drunk.”

“Whatever you say,” He chuckled. I closed my eyes and mentally kicked my own ass.

“Attalia, right?”

“Nope,” I answered automatically, quickly glancing at the numbers again. Finally. Ground floor, “You must be mistaken.”

“Am I really?”

The ding of the elevator as it finally arrived on the ground floor was the figurative bell that saved me from eternal embarrassment. I watched as the elevator doors opened in what seemed like slow motion and as soon as a space opened up that was big enough for me to slide through, I squeezed my way out and ran for the building exit as if the devil himself were out to get me.

Which, technically, isn’t true, unless Bachelor Guy did try to track me down with my name to get revenge.

But he wouldn’t.

Right?

_______________________________________

I got my answer 12 months later.

He definitely would.

......................................................................

Hello there!

Thank you so much for clicking on this story! I’m so excited to take you on a ride that I hope would make you laugh with secondhand embarrassment.

I’m also writing this story to release some stress for myself, since I’ve been holding myself back from dreaming up book boyfriends because of medical school (any fellow medical students out there? Haha)

Anyway, I really hope you stick around to watch this love story unfold. I’m just as excited to tell it as I am to write it. 😂

Please tell me what you think! I would absolutely love to hear from you!

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Love you lots 😘