What is your opinion?
Rose of Deception
"Overall, the plot of this story carries the reader forward, more than anything else. This story has detailed descriptions of the world created, the clothing, character attributes, rooms, landscapes, and so on. I liked the emotions expressed, although it almost seems like the writer's first language is not English, and that is not an insult, even if it's not true. It means more polishing is needed, and that takes time and a lot of reading and learning. This book has a lot of potential. Nice work."
More editing
"This seemed like an interesting story, but I think you can work more on the punctuation. I also suggest Grammarly for editing. At least it gives suggestion like where to put comma or the capitalization of some letters. For the plot, I think that the main character is a bit too casual in her way of interacting with the members of royalty? Dunno if it's just me. "
fucking fantasy
"nice work handsome"
Love it only read description an am in love with this story🙌
"Everyone should read this story"
A good start
"The story dives straight into the action and does a good job of moving the plot forward whilst also building out the world that the author has created, a world which is developing into an interesting arena in which to place the story. However, there are one or two instances of tense switching and different character's dialogue running into each other making it difficult to know who is talking on occasion. That however does not take away from an interesting read and a promising novel in the works"
Rose of deception
"This story was great, but there were a few things about it that confused me… the way the dialogue was written and working out what characters were talking was hard to wrap my head around. The characters’ names were above the chapters so that helped a bit, but it would’ve been better if it was written more clear. Overall though a good story, and the plot was great!"
Great.
"Flipping through your story, it was a wonderful read. You carved a nice plot with incredible characters. Keep it up author."
K-belmonte
"There was a review just like third from the top and I think I agree with it and say that the story had ups but mostly downs. Like grammar was a big hit to this book out of everything else. Like it was confusing who was talking which made the story frustrating to read. Plus the constant addition of plot points and characters made it harder to attach yourself to a character and what they can do. I read up to chapter five and said that I think I should put it down. Now where the story did well was the descriptions of characters and backgrounds. But you can have a cool-looking character and a cool background but without a decent story that is somewhat easy to follow your just not going to have a cool book. So sorry if this sounds harsh but I think points have already been made and I can't just copy and paste another person's review because well, plagiarism, but K-Belmonte took the words out of my mouth and I agree 100% with his review."
Solid plot ideas minus some formatting that needs some review
"Okay so I think I agree with some of the other reviews in that I think it's a little dialogue heavy. However you have really well rounded characters and you obviously have thought out how they fit into your plot. The idea/originality is really cool. I like the idea, it's not something I've read a thousand times which I feel like is really important. When you describe actions, maybe go a little more in depth. I remember a part reading "walked in like she owned the place" (paraphrasing) maybe unpack that a little bit and do a little more digging for a broader description. Also, character thoughts, motives and backstories are a great way to avoid the dialogue heaviness. (I'm guilty for too much dialogue, you're not alone here) but the way over found to avoid it is through the above tricks. Great writing! 👍 "
Interesting concept
"The idea of the story is captivating, unfortunately it feels very flat. Like a third party describing the scene as they watch it happening. We don't get an insight into the thoughts and feelings of the characters, hence its going to be hard to relate to them. Moreover it tends to be a bit confusing and hard to follow at times and also fast paced. Apart from that, with a little bit of polishing, it's going to be a very enjoyable read and don't feel bad because fantasy stories are very complicated, especially the world building (coming from someone who's been trying to piece together a fantasy novel for three years now). "
Nice idea, but execution needs work
"To begin my review, I would just like to say that writing a novel is really hard, and I commend the author for writing seven great chapters and for creating an original concept. Let’s start with the positive feedback: - The author has created a really nice world for the story to be set in - The descriptions in the story so far are wonderful - The author is clearly a creative person, as this seems to be a very original concept with new and exciting characters too Then the things that could be improved: - I find most of the writing in this ebook to be very confusing, as it is, in my opinion, too fast paced, and new concepts and characters are just dropped into the plot without much explanation - The chapters don’t seem to have much continuity and things like the death at the start have not been explained so far. - Grammar and punctuation as well as writing style can be, once again, quite confusing at times as it almost feels like the plot is being described by someone over-hearing a conversation or seeing something happen through a keyhole; there isn’t much context. To summarise I would say that the writer has done great on descriptions in scenes and unique characters, but could improve on SPAG, world building, and pacing. Keep writing! - K_Belmonte "
