Blessed; book 1

I never understood what it felt like to be alone.

I was constantly berated my whole life, my mother codled me until through my elementary to middle school years while my dad protected me from the dangers of the outside. I made friends, friends I most likely would stick with for the rest of my life but friends none the less. My older brother, Brett, was constantly following me around when I hit highschool. It was kind of humorous in a way, I remember a lot of the girls in my class asking if my brother was single and if he was my boyfriend. Before I had to very uncomfortably explain that no, I wasn't dating the school stud but I was in fact related to him.

And besides even if we weren't related that wouldn't happen in a million years.

Let's just say, I have a different type.

Very different from my brother.

But anyway, like I was saying I've never been on my own. Not really. But yet here I am, standing in front of the train station with my hands filled with bags and my parents and brothers hugging me comfortably.

I sniffles as mom kissed my cheek and handed me my last suitcase, "Call me as soon as you get to your room okay?".

I nod as tears brink my eyes. I was really doing it. I was really moving from my safe space to a place I had no fucking idea had in store for me. Dad hugged me next, fluffing my curly low ponytail with his large hand, "Stay safe baby girl, make sure to use that taser I got you".

I chuckle and wrap my arms around him quickly again for a hug, then my brother was next. "Good luck little sis, don't let me get down there and kick a bitch's ass", which makes me roll my eyes with a smile, I take in a long inhale before turning and looking at my train number pop up at the screen.

"I love you guys", I say sweetly to my family as tears fall down my cheeks, they all reply with a unison, "Love you too", and with that I begin to walk to my train. As I load up and step on the stairs I cock my head and look back at my family. My mother and father were clutched close together, Dad rubbing Mom's shoulder as she cried softly, it made my heart break peice by peice. My brother's hands were in his pockets and he had a side smile on his face, his curly hair bouncing around his head as he nodded to me.

I nodded back.

Feeling ready, I step up on the train and swallow to soothe my drying throat.

Here we go, I'm finally alone.

Hmm.. it's weird, I thought it would feel a little lonely, a little empty, scary even.. but honestly, I can't even describe what I am feeling.

It's kind of freeing in a way.