Virgin Territory

Something a bit different happened a couple of years ago. I was in LA visiting my old friend Maura. I used to do some make up artist work on films, and Maura was over in London working as assistant director on a production, and we hit it off. She had that breezy, carefree Californian air about her and didn’t take life too seriously. We kept in touch even when she went home, but when she invited me over to stay for a few weeks, I jumped at the chance to catch up and spend some time in the sun.

Maura lived in a large villa close to the Hollywood Hills, and we spent most of our days by the pool, drinking Margaritas and talking about men. Maura was glowing because she’d started dating a stuntman called Rocky. I met him one night at a party, and whilst he definitely wasn’t my type – shaven headed and overly muscular, he seemed to make Maura happy and that was all that mattered.

One Friday we were sitting around the pool, enjoying the silence. Maura was looking at stuff on her phone, and I was admiring my legs. I wasn’t usually that vain, but I liked how they’d finally caught colour. Despite being olive skinned, my legs usually remained pale and uninteresting, but the LA sun had done something to them and they were as brown as a biscuit.

“Dix can I ask you something?” Maura suddenly said. She sounded worried.

“Are you okay?”

“Rocky has asked me to go to San Francisco for the weekend. I really want to go, but my little brother Ben is coming here. He’s been a bit sad lately. I don’t know why, but I thought a break from college would do him good. I wondered if you’d mind staying here and keeping him company.”

“How old is he? I’m not very good with children.”

“He’s twenty two,” she laughed. “He was set to join the priesthood but he changed his mind at the last minute and switched to English and Latin at UCLA. I dunno, I’m not sure if he thinks he’s made the wrong decision, but he’s not his normal self. I feel bad not being here for him, but…..San Francisco….”

“Go, I’ll be fine here with Ben. I know how hard university can be. I didn’t settle in until my second year. I’ll help him in any way I can.”

“You’re a great pal, thanks Dix. Ben is a good guy. I think he’s just lost his way a bit.”

Maura and Rocky went off on their trip and I was left rattling around the big villa. I was feeling a bit horny and thought about maybe hitting some bars tonight. American guys loved English accents, and I reckoned I’d pull within minutes. Then I remembered I was babysitting Ben. I couldn’t really take him out with me, that would be a sure fire way of putting men off, people thinking I had my dweeby little brother with me. Looked like I was stuck here. I just hoped Ben didn’t start talking about religion and stuff. I was a non-believer. Each to their own and all that. But all the cock I’d had. If the Bible was to be believed, when I died, I was going straight to hell!

On the Saturday morning, I had a swim and decided to chill out in front of the TV for the day, curious to see what different shows were on Netflix. I could probably get through a box-set over this whole weekend.

I’d just got settled on the sofa when there was a knock on the door. I cursed and went to open it, but when I did I quickly changed my mind. I didn’t know who he was, but an absolute vision stood there. He was at least six feet tall, wearing a white Lakers vest over a tanned, muscular body. Light brown hair fell back in waves down to the bottom of his neck, and his beautiful face was so well boned, it could have been sculpted out of marble.

“Hello.” I tried not to smile too much. I hoped he was the pool man or something, and I could fulfil that fantasy of the wealthy woman seducing the guy who came to clean the swimming pool.

“I’m Ben, are you Dixie.”

This was Ben. This Adonis with perfect muscles and perfect skin and beautiful hazel eyes, wearing tight, light blue jeans, was the dweeb who’d wanted to become a priest. What a waste to womankind that would have been.

“Yeah,” I said. “That’s me. Come on in.”

He picked up a brown leather holdall and came into the house.

“I hope you don’t mind me staying over,” he said. “I just needed to get away from the frat house.”

“Of course, no worries. Would you like a beer?”

“Sure, I’ll just go put my bag in my room.”

He ran off upstairs, and I went into the kitchen. I realised I was wearing only my bikini top and a pair of shorts, and it felt a bit weird being so exposed in front of my friend’s kid brother – even if he did look like a Roman god. One of Rocky’s sweatshirts was draped over the back of a chair, so I put that on. It fell to my knees, but at least I felt more decent.

I got two bottles of Corona from the fridge, opening them both. I called out to Ben that there was a bottle waiting for him and I went outside.

I sat on a laugher, the hot sun beating down on my face and making me feel uncomfortable in the thick sweatshirt. I put the cold bottle against my neck to cool myself down and thought about Ben. I wasn’t sure why I’d assumed he’d be unattractive. Maura was his sister and she was one of the most beautiful women I knew, but I just didn’t think a hot young guy would want to join the priesthood.

The French doors slid opened and Ben came out, holding the bottle of beer. With the sun shining down on his hair, picking out golden flecks, and the shadows of the palm trees picking out the contours of his perfect cheekbones, it was like seeing him for the first time again and he was so beautiful I almost wanted to cry.

He sat on the lounger next to me and drank half the bottle of beer in one go.

“Whoa!” I laughed. “We’ve got all day.”

“I just need to relax.” He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back, and my groin tightened. My dirty mind zooming to a place when I was gripping hold of it while he licked me out. I had to blink and look away. He was fifteen years younger than me, and my friend’s brother. What was this cougar I was becoming?

“So, what do you do, Dixie?” he asked.

I dare not look at him, and instead focused on the label on my bottle.

“I’m a writer. I’ve written a few books and I write articles for women’s magazines.”

“Right. What do you write about?”

“Relationship stuff, you know. Sex.”

He didn’t reply. I looked at him and saw he was looking at the pool, but he was blushing

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” I said. “It’s not as exciting as it sounds.”

He looked at me and smiled.

“You just took me by surprise, that’s all.”

He sat back on the lounger and drained the bottle.

“Maybe you could help my friend,” he said. “He could do with some relationship advice.”

I laughed to myself. Sure fire, whenever someone said they were asking for a ‘friend’ they meant themselves. I don’t know why I was disappointed that he was in a relationship. It was a lot to ask someone who looked like that to be single. But he was obviously embarrassed, so I played along.

“What’s troubling him?”

“Well apparently he used to be this dork. Like, never grew as quick as the other boys and had braces and bad hair. Thing is, he hit puberty a bit late and he’s not like that anymore, but he tells me that inside he still feels like that dork, so it makes him shy around girls.”

“How are girls around him?”

“They hit on him quite a lot. He feels like a fake though. He doesn’t have a clue.”

“Has he had a girlfriend before?”

“Never. There’s a girl at college he likes, but he’s too shy to talk to her.”

He was a virgin. This beautiful specimen of manhood was a virgin. My mind went to terrible places, and it was hard to stop myself from imagining initiating him into the world of pleasure.

“What advice have you got for him?” he asked, snapping me out of my daydreams.

“I er…well I’m guessing the girl is the same age as your friend.”

“Yeah..”

“Well she might be inexperienced too. They can learn together.”

“I guess so.”

He looked so pensive, I thought maybe a little flattery would help him feel better about himself.

“You know, if your friend looks anything like you, I’d be more than happy for him to be my first.”

He looked me in the eyes, they were the same brown of his hair and so sad, all I wanted to do was kiss him.

“But what if you were his first, wouldn’t that make you laugh?”

“No. Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of. I didn’t lose mine until I was nineteen. I thought I was never going to lose it. All my friends had. I just wanted to wait for the right person, but I thought I’d never meet him.”

“But you’re beautiful.”

“So are you.”

I didn’t even mean to say that, but he stirred something in me I couldn’t even put my finger on, and it wasn’t just lust. He blushed and looked away again and part of me just wanted to hug him and tell him he had absolutely nothing to worry about, but the other part of me wanted to jump on top of him and ride him into next week. Show him what a real woman was like before he made his move on his little girlfriend.

“So you’ve guessed I was talking about myself?”

“Yes.”

“I was so ugly when I was younger, girls never looked at me in high school. I was very close to my grandmother. She was from Ireland and very religious, and I’d often go to mass with her. I began to wonder if I shouldn’t dedicate my life to God. Don’t get me wrong, I think about girls, all the time, but if none of them wanted me, I figured it would be better to hide myself away. Then I hit eighteen, I grew six inches in three months, my skin cleared up, and I started going to the gym and working out. Suddenly all the girls wanted to know me. But inside I’m still that dweeb. I talk to girls and they think I’m rude because I stutter or say something dumb, or I walk away because I’m so shy.”

“Well, when the right girl comes along, it will all fall into place. Have you ever kissed a girl?”

“A couple, at parties when I’ve been drunk. It was okay.”

Without thinking, I reached across and grasped his hand. It was big and manly and his fingers long. I imagined him jerking off, gripping his cock with those big strong hands and bringing himself off.

“Stop stressing,” I said. “It will happen.”

He didn’t let go of my hand, and a jolt of electricity ran through me. He wanted me. And I wanted him so badly, but this would be his first time. Was it right to use him for my own gratification?

“Why don’t you teach me?” he said quietly.

“Ben, you’re Maura’s baby brother.”

He turned to look at me, and for the first time, the prettiness had left his face. There was another look…his lids were lowered and his mouth was pouting slightly. Lust. He looked like a man rather than a beautiful boy.

“Maura’s not here,” he said. “You’re so sexy, and I feel real comfortable with you.”

My head wanted to say no, but my pussy was winning. I couldn’t resist it. I got off the lounger and climbed on top of him, straddling him. He was hard and I ground myself against him through his jeans. He moaned and buried his hands in my hair, pulling my head down so he could kiss me, His lips were soft but his probing tongue was insistent and impatient, practically trying to eat me. I had to slow it down. I took my mouth from his, trailing it across the faint stubble on his cheek, down to his neck, breathing in his delicious scent of musk and fresh linen. I pushed the stray locks of hair away from his ear and kissed his earlobe, running my lips down his neck. My other hand stroked his thick hair, tugging it gently, and I felt him begin to twitch beneath me. I knew what was going to happen and it was best to get it out of the way. He moaned lowly, his hips bucked and he flopped back down.

“I’m sorry,” he said. I pulled away and looked at him. He looked like that shy, sheepish boy again.

“Don’t worry about it,” I smiled. “I guessed that would happen. Why don’t you go in and have a shower and we’ll take it from there.”

“Okay.” He kissed me again and this time there was less urgency. It was one of those kisses you wanted to go on forever because it felt so nice. I got off him and pulled him up, noticing the damp patch on the front of his light blue jeans. I hoped now he’d come, he’d be able to control himself a bit. But that was asking a lot of a horny twenty two year old experiencing sex for the first time.

While he was in the shower, I stayed in Maura’s bedroom, wondering how I was going to go about this. I didn’t even take my clothes off. A part of me felt bad about seducing him, and I felt like if I kept my clothes on, I could tell myself it was in an educational capacity and I would get nothing from it.

Who was I kidding? I was so turned on at the thought of breaking him in that I wanted to jump on his dick the moment he came out of the bathroom.

I had to slow myself down too. If I got to excited, I would just end up riding him and no doubt he would come in five seconds and it would be a massive disappointment for all of us. I lay on the bed and put my hand down my shorts, quickly bringing myself off, hoping Ben didn’t walk out while I was doing it, but as I neared orgasm, the fantasy changed and he did walk out, catching me pleasuring myself, and he would climb on the bed between my legs and fuck me…

I came, letting out a little cry which I hoped he didn’t hear. I then lay back and relax, feeling a bit calmer. I noticed on Marua’s bedside table was some Ylang-ylang massage oil. That was a scent that always got me horny and I wondered if Maura used it with Rocky. Maybe a massage would be the thing to help Ben relax a little and get used to his body being touched. It was easier to tell myself that then just admit the truth, that I wanted to touch him all over. I liked a man to be comfortable with his erogenous zones. Not thinking the only ones he had were his cock and balls. Sex should be sensual, besides I liked the power play of reducing a man to a quivering wreck, just by touching a certain part of his body or watching him touch himself, finding out what turned him on.

Ben came out from the bathroom, and I realised my masturbation had been futile. I got wet again as soon as I laid eyes on his body. He had a towel wrapped around his waist, but I could see the outline of his cock through it. His chest was golden and hairless, his skin unflawed, his pecs well defined. He had broad shoulders and swimmers muscles, and a trail of dark hair ran down from his belly button. He was like a work of art. God I wished he wasn’t a virgin. With a bit of experience, he could have railed me into next week.

He pushed his wet hair off his face and gave a nervous smile.

“Shall I get on the bed?”

“Sure, why don’t you lie face down and I’ll give you a massage.”

He kept the towel on and laid face down on the bed, his arms at his side. I gazed at his muscular back, the slight curve of his backside. His legs were long and not too hairy, his calves muscular. Even his long feet were perfectly formed and sexy. I didn’t know where to start. I picked up the massage oil from the bedside table and rubbed it in my hands to warm it up. I knelt beside the bed and began to massage his shoulders, down to his back. Trying to avoid his ass. His body was so hard and his skin was so smooth. Power seemed to ooze from him and I imagined him pounding into me…..I had to blink to get the thought from my mind.

“That feels good,” he sighed.

“It’s good for you to enjoy being touched,” I said. “Sex isn’t just about getting hard and getting off. It should be a sensuous experience. Do you ever touch yourself when you jack off?” As soon as said these words, I was aware I sounded like a dirty old woman

“What do you mean?”

I began to massage his arms, all the way down to his hands.

“Well some men just jack off, others like to make more of it. Use it as a chance to find out what else they like. Us ladies are the same. I can spend ages stroking my body before I make myself come.”

He groaned and shifted on the bed and I guessed he was getting hard.

“Sometimes I touch my nipples,” he said quietly. “Is that sissy?”

“Not at all. God gave you men nipples for pleasure alone. Us ladies have them for other reasons too.”

He turned onto his back. The towel came away and I saw he was rock hard, so much so, it was resting on his belly.

I knew if I touched him he would come straight away, and this was all about him learning to control himself a bit. I massaged his shoulders again, running my hands down the top of his arms and back up again, before running my thumbs over his hard pink nipples. He swallowed hard and raised his head to watch what I was doing. I lightly scratched my fingernails over his left nipple causing his to gasp and throw his head back into the pillows. I saw his right hand automatically moved towards his dick. So I intercepted, grabbing his arm and climbing on top of him. I had no choice but to touch his dick, pulling it free so it rested up against my backside. I wanted it inside me, but what would be the point? He’d come before I had a chance to.

“I need to come,” he moaned. I ignored him, even though I was getting pretty desperate myself. I leaned forward onto his chest, sucking his right nipple into a tight peak, gently nipping it with my tongue while I ran my nails across the other one. Ben started moving beneath me, his hips rising and falling as he rubbed himself against my backside. I reached my hand into my shorts and began rubbing my clit. I came quickly, my body being rocked by Ben as he thrust against me, holding onto my hips. His eyes closed and his face contorted as he came, his spunk no doubt covering the back of my sweatshirt. I fell upon him. He pushed me onto my back and positioned himself over me. He lowered his head and kissed me with a boldness he hadn’t shown outside by the pool. It was like being kissed by a man, not a nervous boy.

I reached up and ran my hands through his thick, beautiful damp hair, pulling it gently. He moaned and kissed me harder, and I felt his right hand move under the hem of my sweatshirt, his fingers blindly finding their way up my body. He grabbed my boob through my bikini top and I found his roughness a turn on. He was the sort of man who, once he knew what he was doing, would be the sort a woman would like to be treated roughly by. It was always my experience that shy men were absolute beasts in bed.

I needed to be naked against him. I pushed him onto his back, and saw he was hard again. He was like a machine! I climbed off the bed and practically ripped my clothes all off before climbing back on top of him. Like most men, his hands were led by radar to my tits. He took both in his hands, squeezing and feeling them as though they were things of wonder. He pushed me onto my back and as I’d done to him, he went for my nipples, sucking on the dark areolas, pinching them between his fingers and making me moan. I involuntarily opened my legs wide, and instinctively he knew what I needed. He raised himself on his elbows, while I reached down and guided him into me. The feeling of him stretching me open was fantastic, and I just hoped he could last for a while. I reached up, grasping his broad shoulders.

“Am I hurting you?” he asked.

“No!” I gasped. “Just thrust. Do what feels right.”

Like a natural, he soon got the hang of it. Because he’d already come twice, he could control himself a bit better. His body was so muscular and powerful, he was moving me across the bed. I tried to detach myself a bit, because I knew if I gave into it and started letting him know I was enjoying it, he would burst. He raised himself on his arms and looked down at me as he fucked me, and I could tell he was going to be the sort of man who enjoyed eye contact. But he was so gorgeous, with that brown hair flopping down towards me and that look of concentration on his face…I couldn’t help it, I gripped his arms and couldn’t stop myself from gasping and moaning, soon I had to close my eyes because I was going to come. I felt him start pounding at me harder, just causing me to tip over the edge. My back arched and I felt myself digging my nails into his arms. He lowered himself onto me, gathering me up to him while he let himself go, crying out down my ear.

He flopped upon me, still holding on.

“I’m a man,” he panted.

“Congratulations,” I laughed.

He lifted his head and looked at me with those beautiful, sleepy hazel eyes.

“Thank you.”

He kissed me gently, and fell back down on me, falling asleep with his head on my shoulder. I looked at his long brown lashes resting on his dewy cheeks and my heart swelled with how beautiful he was, and what I’d just done with him. The only men who melted my hearts were the ones who had a soft, vulnerable side. I could fuck bad boys and arrogant pricks from now till Christmas and feel nothing except my own pleasure. But there was something about a gentle man that made me mushy inside. Especially when they were a brute in bed. Ben was sensitive and sweet, and I knew if I wasn’t careful I would end up getting feelings for him, which would be inappropriate on so many levels.

When he awoke, he lifted his head and looked down at me and smiled. I pushed his shaggy hair off his face. Desire was taking me over again, I couldn’t resist him. There was still so much he had to learn. I just had to take it for what it was, a bit of fun, and doing him a massive favour.

“Perhaps we should both how a shower,” I said. “We’re both a bit sweaty.”

“Sure thing, let’s go.”

Maura’s shower was big enough for both of us. As the pulsating jets of water came down on us, I washed Ben, taking enjoyment from soaping up his muscles, dropping to my knees and washing his strong calves and rock hard thighs. He was rock hard again and trying to paw me, wanting to fuck me, but there were other delights I wanted him to learn about.

I grasped his cock and took it in my mouth, just pausing for a moment with my lips around it. I caressed it with my tongue and he moaned and staggered a little, reaching out to hold the walls of the shower. I looked up at him and saw he was watching, so I started to move my head back and forth so he could see his cock going in and out of my mouth. I gripped his iron hard backside and pulled him further to me, so I could take more of him in, moving my mouth quickly.

“That feels so good,” he panted. I slowed down a little and reached up and cupped his balls, running my fingertips over them and down the ridge between them. Ben moaned loudly, doubling over slightly. His breathing became ragged, and, still holding onto his balls, I began sucking on his cock quickly. I wanted him to come in my mouth, I wanted to taste him.

“Don’t stop!” he cried, grabbing hold of my wet hair. He began to move, and I knew he was reaching the point of no return. His grip on my hair became tighter and he thrust deep into my mouth, each thrust accompanied by a guttural grunt.

“I’m gonna come!” he cried.

He exploded in my mouth, his body convulsing. I was so aroused, I felt I could come myself without anyone even touching me.

I pulled away and looked up at him, letting him see his cum dribbling down my chin. He gave a smile of wonder and helped me to my feet. I washed my face and turned the shower off, taking him by the hand and leading him out. I ached between the legs, desperate for another orgasm. I wanted him to go down on me, I wanted to feel that eager young tongue licking me… I told him to dry himself and I went into the bedroom. I dried myself and lay naked on the bed. My nipples were so hard, I had to pinch them just to give myself a little thrill, but too much and I would have come there and then.

Ben came back out, naked. His eyes lit up on seeing me, and he became semi-erect.

“I want you to pleasure me,” I said.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Have you watched porn?”

“Course, all guys do it.”

“Have you seen it when a man goes down on a woman.”

He blushed a little, shrugging his shoulders.

“I mainly like two girls…”

“Even better. I want you to do to me what those girls do. I want you to lick me. I want you to lick my clit until I come.”

The semi turned into a full erection. He climbed onto the bed between my open legs, looking puzzled as he stared at my body.

“My clit is the little swollen bud at the top,” I said. “You can touch it, but be gentle.”

He softly brushed his fingers over the head of my clit. The pleasure was a little too intense, making me wince.

“Is that wrong?” he asked.

“No it’s right, just maybe lick it. Gently. Imagine it’s a popsicle you want to last. You don’t have to just lick the head, you can lick round the sides too.”

He pulled my pussy lips apart and lowered his head. He was doing as I asked him and the feeling was amazing.

“That’s it,” I moaned, as his tongue flickered down towards my vagina. “You can suck it if you want.”

He sucked my clit into his sweet lips, making me buckle and reach down for his hair. He lifted his head and looked at me.

“Am I doing it right?” he asked.

“Yes!” I cried. “Yes! Now lick it with the flat of your tongue.”

He started to lick me like I told him and I could feel myself coming. Warm waves of pleasure started washing over me and my hips started moving on their own.

“Put two fingers in me,” I moaned. “Lick me and put your fingers right inside me.”

He pushed his long fingers deep inside me whilst licking my clit vigorously. My body was tensing in a way I hadn’t experienced in a long time. The feeling of him licking and flicking at me was unbelievable. I reached down and tightly grasped his hair to keep him where he was and I lost control. I could hear myself screaming, like I was listening to someone else, but I couldn’t help it, this was total ecstasy. He was a natural at cunnilingus. There was a whole world of girls out there he was going to make very happy.

Even when I started to come down I ached for him. I needed to feel him inside me.

“Fuck me! I groaned. “Fuck me hard like you want to hurt me.”

He climbed back up me, between my legs, pushing himself deep inside me. I reached up and grasped his shoulders, wrapping my legs around his hips so he could fuck me deeply.

“Harder,” I moaned.

I felt him open his legs slightly so he could thrust deeper. I imagined his strong thighs powering him on, his backside moving up and down like a piston….it was no use, I was coming again. The pleasure was so intense, I dug my nails into his back until that wasn’t enough and I raised my head and bit into his shoulder.

He lowered himself, pulling me close to him so he could grip me while he came. His body convulsing violently, he moaned and fell on top of me, his heavy body pressing me down. I held him close and stroked his sweaty hair and found myself wishing I was ten years younger. We’d known each other merely hours, but I could tell there was a connection between us which wasn’t just physical. I could happily have sex with a guy and switch my feelings off and just take it for fun; but I’m a woman, genetically programmed to respond to vulnerability, and Ben had shown me how vulnerable he was, and yet had the power to fuck me senseless like a man.

“That was the best experience of my life,” he mumbled.

“Me too.” Did I mean that? Maybe I did. Maybe Ben brought something out in me I hadn’t noticed before.

Uncharacteristically, my eyes filled with tears. I wanted to cry and I wasn’t sure why. I excused myself and said I needed to pee. I went into the bathroom, shut the door and sat on the toilet, sobbing silently into a tissue. I realised Ben had made me feel vulnerable too. I was used to experienced men who could throw me around a bedroom with no emotion involved. Long gone were the young nervous boys making love for the first time, in need of being treated with tenderness. Today with Ben I’d had to be the one in control, looking after him, and it had done something to me. I wanted to go back into the bedroom and get into bed with him and hold him and fall asleep with him and wake up and go out tonight, and come back and we could make love again and then tomorrow we could maybe go out somewhere….

I was envisaging a relationship with him and that was never going to work. He was nearly young enough to be my son and lived several thousands of miles away. Besides, Maura would hate me if she found out what I’d done. But it didn’t stop me wishing I was twenty two, like him and we could venture on our sex life together…

I had to go home to England. If I stayed here any longer, it was going to get complicated. Ben probably thought he was in love with me, just because I took his virginity, and I would end up falling in love with him if I stayed any longer.

I left the bedroom and saw he was still asleep, lying on his stomach, his mouth squashed against the pillow, like a child. I went outside onto the patio and called for a cab to take me to the airport. Even if I had to wait half a day for flight back to London, at least it would get me back away from Ben. I called Maura in San Francisco. She and Rocky were having a drink in a bar, and she was a little drunk.

“How’s my baby brother?” she asked.

“He’s fine. I think college is just getting him down. Unfortunately I have to go home. My mum isn’t well, she’s had a fall and my dad is useless at looking after her.”

“Oh no, I’ve loved having you around.”

“I’ve loved being around. I’ll come out again soon, I promise.”

“And thank you for being there for Ben today. I bet he enjoyed talking to a gorgeous girl like you.”

I went back inside, and while he slept, I quickly dressed and threw all my things into my case. I was hoping he would stay asleep until I’d gone, but it was no use. I dropped my bottle of perfume and the clunk woke him up. He sat up, rubbing the sleeps from his eyes. I had to look away from his body, knowing how it felt and how he felt inside me…..

“Where you going?” he yawned.

“My mum is ill. I have to go home.”

“What?” He looked like he was going to cry and I looked away, busying myself with packing.

“I’ve got to go Ben. You’ll be okay here.”

“Let me come with you. I’ve always wanted to see London.”

“You’ve got college.”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

I took a deep breath and looked at him. I walked over to the bed and sat down. Balling my hands into fists to stop myself from touching him.

“You only think you’re in love with me because I took your virginity.”

“It’s not that. You felt it too, I could see it on your face after we made love.”

“No Ben. I’ve got to go. Look, you’re beautiful and gorgeous and a fantastic fuck and you’re only going to get better. But there are loads of girls out there waiting to be with you. Have fun and maybe in a few years, pop over to London and we can meet up again. But I’ll be over forty then…”

He reached out and stroked my face and I had to fight myself to stop a reaction.

“You’ll still be beautiful. Please don’t go.”

The taxi sounded its horn outside and I was both grateful and heartbroken to know I had to go.

“That’s my taxi.” I stood up, closed my eyes and kissed him on the cheek. “Bye Ben.”

I picked up my cases and ran out before he could come after me. While the driver put my bags into the boot, I jumped into the back of the car and put on my sunglasses so he wouldn’t be able to see me cry as we travelled to LAX.

Maura and I stayed in touch, and last year she and Rocky got married. I was brave and flew out to LA to go to the wedding, wondering how I would feel, seeing Ben. I discovered he was dating a volleyball player called Lauren who had the sort of tight body and amazing good looks I could only dream of. We chatted politely, but when Lauren wasn’t looking, Ben still held my gaze for longer than he should. I guess he would never forget me, and I would never forget him. He was one of the only men to properly pierce this tough old heart of mine.