a little slow
First, I will say what is GOOD about the story: you clearly know show don't tell. for those of you who don't know, that is a writer's technique where the author shows what is happening through describing the scene. they show the backstory with dialogue and descriptions. Rather than telling ABOUT the story, you gave the reader a visual, which not many books have.
Read the story now
Now, while your writing method is good, you have to work on your hook.
The hook, as many know, is what keeps you going. What makes the reader want to read/know more. YOUR hook was a girl cleaning the floor with a huge description about how that works.
Usually people start movies with fight scenes, books often start off with some intense dialogue that would describe the conflict. Like in harry potter, Dumbledore and McGonagall were discussing that they were going to hide Harry with some relatives from a dark lord.
Don't get me wrong, good story, very creative, I'm just saying what could make it BETTER.