Once Bitten

Kishil lifted her hand, shielding her eyes from the evening sun and watching the others go on ahead, knowing it wouldn’t be long and they would be there. She could feel her heart beat faster, her mouth a little drier as she saw that cluster of tipis and that large fire in the distance. She rubbed her hands against her hide skirt, a part of her hating that she cared that much, but she found herself doing it anyway, running her fingers through her long, dark hair and hoping that she didn’t look like she had been on the road for the whole day. They had been, she knew that, so did they, but she didn’t want to look like she had been and she didn’t want to show up covered in dust and dirt, not when he was going to be there.

“Do you think we’ll play the stick game?” asked Kaya, and Kishil looked down at her, that stiffness in her back, that dryness in her mouth forgotten when the girl smiled up at her.

“Maybe,” Kishil nodded, reaching a hand down to pat Kaya on the head. “But aren’t you tired, little one?” she asked, but Kaya only smiled again.

“I want to beat Takoda,” she said. “We can’t let him win again, Kishil.”

“Hmm,” Kishil hummed, feeling the corners of her lips twitching as she watched Kaya. “You know what happens to greedy spirits, Kaya.”

“I’m not greedy,” Kaya shook her head. “He shouldn’t have beat you, Kishil, you shouldn’t have let him, you’re the chief’s first daughter.”

“You know what happens to angry spirits too,” Kishil nodded.

“I’m not angry,” Kaya said, stopping and staring up at Kishil, her hand clutching at the front of her shirt. “We just can’t lose again, it’ll dishonour our people.”

Kishil laughed, a soft, quiet laugh and she shook her head. “There’s nothing wrong with losing to someone better, Kaya, it’s a chance to learn. You won’t make the same mistakes you did last time, will you? And you wouldn’t be better now if he hadn’t beaten us last time.”

“I’ll win it for us this time, Kishil, I promise.”

“Winning won’t be up to you or me,” Kishil said, smiling down at the girl. “There’s only the pointers and the guessers and it only matters that you do well for the people sitting next to you… Who knows, maybe he’ll be on your side and you’ll have to play against me.”

“I’d never play against you,” Kaya shook her head, her eyes big and wide as she stared up at Kishil. “I don’t want to play against you.”

“Even if you get to play with him?”

Kaya watched Kishil, her face scrunching up in a slight scowl, the light in her eyes shining brighter, but then she shook her head, that scowl growing deeper, her eyes flicking to glare at the tipis ahead of them as she said, “You’re my sister, Kishil, you have to win.”

“You can’t throw the game if you end up on his side,” Kishil said.

“You have to win, Kishil, you’re the first daughter.”

“He’s the first son,” Kishil said, feeling her heart beat quicker though she tried to stop it and that scowl on Kaya’s face grew deeper, her footsteps heavier as she walked beside Kishil.

Kishil had to bite back another laugh, and she felt the girl grow stiffer when they reached the edge of the village, Kishil’s eyes fixed firmly on their father as he clasped arms with two men.

“Chief Denali,” her father said, a soft smile on his lips. “Takoda,” he nodded, and Kishil checked to make sure that she was standing tall, her shoulders straight as an arrow when Takoda nodded back to her father.

“Chief Chetan,” Denali greeted. “We’re honoured that you would come.”

“We’re honoured that you would call for us,” Chetan said, waving his hand for them to come closer. “My sons have work on the land, but I brought my daughters.”

“Kishil,” Denali smiled. “You grow more beautiful every time I see you and Kaya… What is it, little one?” he asked. “Are you tired from the road?”

“No,” Kaya said, her voice soft and low as she reached a hand up for Kishil’s.

“Hmm…” Takoda hummed, a deep hum that made Kishil’s mouth go dry, as he leaned down, resting his hands on his knees so he could stare at Kaya. “You’re still angry with me, Kaya?” he asked, and Kaya turned, hiding her face behind Kishil’s thigh.

“No,” Kaya mumbled, and Kishil had to bite back another laugh.

“It’s been a long day,” Kishil said. “And my sister could use something to eat.”

“Come,” Denali said, holding his hand out to grab Chetan’s shoulder. “You must be tired. Takoda will show you where you’re staying and I want to show you something else, Chetan,” he nodded, both of the chiefs smiling to each other as Denali led her father away.

Kishil had to look down then, knowing that Takoda was staring at her and not sure what she would do. She wanted to stare back, she wanted to smile or even act cold and proud like she knew she should, but all she could do was stand there with her heart racing and her mouth so dry when Takoda hummed again, pulling Kaya up into his arms and shaking his head.

“Is my little Kaya hungry?” he asked, and Kaya kicked her legs, trying to get him to drop her, but Takoda only laughed.

“I’m not hungry!” Kaya snapped, but Takoda nodded, looking down at her and nodding again.

“A warrior should be graceful in defeat,” he said.

“I’m not a warrior,” Kaya said, folding her arms across her chest and looking back at Kishil, but Kishil still couldn’t move to help her just yet.

“You have a warrior’s spirit,” Takoda said. “Just like your sister… You look well, Kishil.”

Kishil felt that heat building inside her, not knowing what to do with it, a part of her not wanting it to be there so she didn’t have to feel like such a fool when she didn’t have anything to say back, so she stood taller, her eyes flicking to where she could see the bonfire burning the middle of the village.

“I should get Kaya to bed soon,” she said, but she watched Takoda smile, holding Kaya with only one of his arms so he could trail his finger across the girl’s forehead.

“Yes,” he said, his voice so soft and quiet. “You need to rest up, Little Warrior, I have a lot of games to play tomorrow.”

“I won’t be on your side,” Kaya said, and Takoda laughed, shaking his head and heading into the village towards a few tipis.

Kishil watched him go, turning to nod to the people who’d come with them and to make sure that they followed Takoda’s nods at other tipis and tents throughout the village, and then she stopped, feeling his eyes on her as he held the flap open to another one and waited. Kaya was already asleep in his arm, her face soft and slack, her hand clutching at the leather of one of his necklaces, but Kishil didn’t think she’d ever be able to sleep if he held her like that. She didn’t tell him that as she stepped into the tent, she didn’t know if she would ever tell him that, but with everything her brothers had told her before she’d left to come here, she couldn’t get the thought of her mind.

He bent down, laying Kaya down in a bundle of furs and Kishil wasn’t far behind him, wrapping the girl up tight and brushing some of the hair that had sprung loose from her braid back behind her ear as the girl sighed in her sleep, curling up smaller and clutching at the furs around her.

“She looks well,” Takoda said, and Kishil turned to him.

“We haven’t found her mother,” Kishil shook her head. “Don’t tease her too much, Takoda, she-,”

“She’s stronger than she looks,” Takoda cut in, his eyes never blinking as he stared at Kishil, but then he smiled, the corners of his lips twitching like he was fighting something back. “I know you don’t like it, but it’s good that she’s angry. Let her fight, Kishil, hmm, it’ll make her feel like she’s doing something to help.”

“I don’t want her to be angry, I want her to be happy,” Kishil said, shaking her head.

“Hmm…” Takoda hummed, a hum that had something warm springing to her stomach and her mouth going dry. “She’ll be happy again, it’ll just take time, be patient.”

Kishil turned to him, that burning then something too strong, her face scrunching up in a scowl. She wanted to snap at him, she wanted to tell him that she was patient and she had been patient, but none of the words would come out and that burning only died when she saw him smile again, reaching a hand out to squeeze hers, and then she shook her head.

“I just want answers for her,” she whispered, feeling her heart grow somehow heavier, somehow just lighter for being able to say it.

“Stay strong, Kishil,” he whispered back. “We’re looking for her too and if we don’t find her, then she’ll look to you… She looks to you anyway, you know that.”

Kishil smiled then, a smile that came so easily, her eyes flicking back to stare at her sister sleeping, but then she shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she said. “This is supposed to be a happy time and I-,”

“I like it,” Takoda cut in, giving her hand another squeeze before he let it go. “I don’t like thinking about you keeping it all inside you… It’s not good for your spirit, you know that, Kishil.”

“Still,” she said. “I can keep it a bit longer. I don’t want to ruin your night.”

Takoda smiled then, a warm smile, the corners of his lips twitching like he was fighting something back. “I don’t think you could ever ruin my night,” he said. “I’m happy you’re here… And you’ll be a here a while, won’t you?”

Kishil stared at him, a part of her almost wanting to ask him how long he wanted her to stay, a part of her wanting to ask that question that was burning the tip of her tongue, but then she shook her head and looked away.

“You know what they’re like,” she said. “Who knows when my father will want to leave, but… he left my brothers. I guess we’ll be a couple of days at least.”

“Good,” Takoda smiled. “Good,” he said again, getting to his feet and then he reached down, grabbing a spare blanket from a pile near Kaya’s furs and he nodded. “You must be hungry,” he said, holding his hand out for her to take. “And thirsty, hmm?” he hummed, wrapping that blanket around her shoulders, but she didn’t think she’d need it as long as he kept humming like that.

“A little,” she said, her voice soft and quiet, but he smiled again, holding the flap open so she could step back out into the night air.