Fairhope

(8 months before Aspen Falls--April)

Bristol

HDE (hunter): hows porpoise nose paul?

cupcaker (bristol): do what?

HDE: dingle dick dave?

cupcaker: who?

“What the hell?” I set the phone down on the counter, ignored my own confusion, and went on with my measuring.

“What?” Aspen looked over her shoulder while she was getting boxes ready for the latest round of her cookie orders. They had to be dropped off all over town before 6 tonight. We always did order drop offs together.

I shook my head and nodded my chin toward my phone. “Hunter. I know he doesn’t drink heavily, but I swear he’s drunk right now.”

Aspen glanced at the clock in my kitchen -11am- then made a ‘meh, alright’ face. She unlocked my phone and read the random txts her oldest brother had sent me. “Oh my god.” She choked on a laugh. “I think he’s talking about Philip. Super weird way to ask, but yeah...I think that’s what he’s doing.”

Alright. “Why? Why does he wanna know? That’s weird. I mean he’s the big brother I never had, but why’s he asking?” Hunter never just txt or called me. There was always a reason. These just seemed random and out of the blue. And he was asking about an ex?

I had noticed that he’d liked a couple of my Instagram pictures I had posted the other day. Lauren wanted to check out a new place to see if it would work with her photography vibe. Whatever the hell that was. Or meant. I was the only one available and I’d never pass up on free pictures.

Social media was all about looking better than the next profile, right? And Lauren? She could do that with one photo and her eyes closed.

When she sent me the digital files and asked me what I thought. If people would wanna do shoot at that place? I put a few of the pictures on Instagram and took a poll for her.

Hunter liked them, voted for AND commented. Which was all new, to me, in itself. I may have forgot how to breathe for a second or two when I got the notifications. He never did anything online beside stalk and learn from the background.

Now he was randomly txtn? Something was up. It smelled fishy.

“Who knows? Maybe he just now heard y’all broke up and wants to check in? I think he’s been overseas for a minute. Last I talked to him looked like.” Aspen slid the phone back to me. She didn’t act like any of it was weird.

I turned the mixer on and went to reply.

cupcaker: are you talking about Philip?

HDE: purty sure thats what i said.

cupcaker: *eye roll emoji*

cupcaker: he left like two months ago

Every time I said that or typed it, a new wave of emotions hit me. Sometimes it was white hot rage. Other times it was down in the dumps depression.

I still couldn’t figure out Philip’s reasoning, or lack thereof. One day he just decided that transferring schools and jobs and states was just what he needed. He tracked Aspen and I down in town, left a fucking note on the windshield of my jeep and that was that. Everybody in Fairhope knew within hours. The rest of the dessert drop offs were horrendously awkward and filled with the old lady hand pats and hugs and the head cocked to one side sad look.

My status went to single. He changed his number. All of his online profiles had been turned to private, or simply just disappeared. I’d been deleted. The girls had been deleted. It was cool. Everything was fine. All sunshine and rainbows over here.

I want to set fire to his asshole. Literal fire to his literal asshole. I guess today’s emotion was white hot rage.

HDE: where’d he go?

cupcaker: anywhere I wasn’t?

cupcaker: *elmo shrugging meme*

HDE: dicknose nut biscuit

cupcaker: should I even ask what that is?

HDE: probably shouldn’t. need me to take care of him?

What the hell was going on? This wasn’t Hunter. Not the one I knew and grew up with, at least.

cupcaker:if I wasn’t worth an explanation then

he’s not worth costing you your military career.

HDE: he wouldn’t cost me anything. it’d be my pleasure, darling ;)

What. The. Fuck. “He’s now threatening to take care of him? Is Jason stateside because this suspiciously sounds like Jase.”

“Maybe he has been drinking.” Aspen shrugged. She always got this broken look in her eye whenever her brothers were mentioned. It didn’t have anything to do with them. It had everything to do with their fourth roommate, Beau Brighton. The love of her life who listened to her pour out her feelings then tucked tail and ran. Ghosted her two years ago. I would set fire to his asshole too.

I knew a fraction of what she felt. Sure, Philip ghosted me but he wasn’t my destined in the stars, other part of my soul, can’t breathe, world doesn’t turn right kind of love. That was what Aspen had with Beau. He just needed to get his head out of his fucking ass to realize it.

I don’t think I even liked Philip? I couldn’t even remember how we got together in the first place, let alone lasted eight months. So I guess I only knew what it felt like to be left with no explanation. The rest I was fine with. Super fine. Like Ross from Friends fine.

cupcaker: okay...so i’ve concluded this isn’t Hunt.

Jase give him his phone back you twatwaffle.

he’s gonna kick your ass so hard.

HDE: that hurts Bris. it’s really me.

cupcaker: i’m sure it is. give him his phone back

Jason Alexander Ellington.

HDE: *shirtless selfie*

Holy shit. HolY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!!! Why is he so fucking gorgeous? Why is he shirtless? I can’t breathe. My insides are on fire. Why are my insides on fire? I would literally let him do anything he wanted to me.

What the hell Bristol? That’s Hunter. We do not have sexual thoughts about Hunter!

I mean we could...just look at him. The tattoos. Those muscles. The beard alone would leave lovely sorts of burn in between you le...

No!! WE DO NOT HAVE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT HUNTER!!!

Oh great. Now I was fighting with myself inside my brain. Not crazy. Nope. Everything is fine over here. Just making cupcakes. I’m sure he’d eat your cupcake. *wink wink*

Oh my god. I might actually be crazy. I should check that out. There were online quizzes on Facebook and whatnot that would tell me yeah? Those are totally legit.

I had all but abandoned the cupcake batter and was just standing there at the counter with my derailing thoughts about a man that I had no business thinking about. And yes, he was a man.

“You good? Because you’re kinda drooling and your face looks fucked up.” Thanks, Aspen. Thanks a lot.

I wasn’t drooling. I wasn’t drooling. “Yeah. Good. Everything’s a okay. It’s hot in here yeah? I think it’s hot in here.” I was totally drooling.

“Yeahok. You’re not okay. What the hell did Jason send you?” She went to reach for my phone which instantly sent my hand flying in the same direction. We both watched as my phone fell off the island and the screen shattered on the floor.

Fuck. My. Life.