Goodnight, Tessa
I want to write her, name in the sky.
I'm gonna free fall, out into nothing.
I'm going to leave this, world for a while.
I'm free, Free Falling...
Tom Petty.
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A saxophone reed requires moisture to easily vibrate at low volume. The player places the shaped wood in her mouth and produces as much saliva as possible. She then caresses it with her tongue, using enough force to work her juices into the pores, but without splitting the paper-thin edge. The sensual process, so identical to passionate kissing, makes the saturated implement a very personal item. Many players also keep one idly in their mouths as a prop, the way a thug might use a toothpick.
The lingering taste of Tessa's mouth infused the reed resting between my teeth with a new flavor:
Ours.
I saved the worn-out bamboo sliver in my locker as a memento of our intimacy...
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11:55 PM.
December 12, 1980.
Southern California.
As her bus passed mine on its way out of the Disneyland parking lot, I slyly glanced over at Tessa through my window, a small violation of Silent Bus. The unique protocol seemed pointless while leaving an empty theme park at midnight. However, maintaining our rigid discipline paid off at contests, when the troglodytes of opposing school bands stood gaping at the sight of us facing forward, completely still and quiet. We would then exit in an orderly, practiced manner, and fall seamlessly into a tight formation, ready to dominate the music competitions.
Everyone has things in their lives they hold sacred. Mine were our award-winning marching band, plus the numerous other music programs and ensembles that took up much of my senior year. Thus, I only allowed myself a small swivel of the head.
I don't know what I expected to see from Tessa, but I blinked in surprise when her best friend's harsh scowl targeted me. Samantha had taken the window seat next to Tessa, probably to make her displeasure clear, and I considered flipping her off. Our drum major Alex shot me an "Eyes Forward!" gesture, which triggered my defiance reflex. Normally I would have contained it, but still reeling from the events of the night, I fully turned my head to see Tessa boozily swaying behind Samantha, desperately trying to stay upright. She even tried to sneak a brush through her disheveled hair.
My Tessa is a tidy girl...
I had caressed its silky length throughout the night, mussing Tessa's shining, dark, and most attractive feature, with no complaints from her. Not for the first time, I felt a surge of admiration for the shy Mexican freshman's adorable fortitude. Until a few short hours before, I would not have dreamed what a wonderful girlfriend she could be.
Just another few more minutes, Babe. Then we can both go hurtling into a spinning oblivion...
Tessa and I metaphorically sailed in the same unsteady, barnacle encrusted, puke-inducing boat, which would have been deliciously poetic, had I brought Captain Morgan rum instead of Bacardi. The thought prompted a drunken giggle to escape my sagging lips, earning another scold from our constantly vigilant band leader.
Fuck off, Alex. Baton twirling, pornstache-wearing, pompous douchebag...
He showed a total unwillingness to deal with my insubordination and called an exasperated end to Silent Bus three minutes early.
I win. Again...
With a petty triumph complete, my drooping eyelids finally gave up their struggle, but Brillo-haired seat-mate Steve jostled me. His whiny voice could make winning the lottery sound like a tragedy. "Ray, I saw you kissing Tessa. She's with you now?"
He wasn't exactly my friend, and I had bullied him many times, despite being a nerd myself. "No, Steve. Not really."
A pathetic complaint piggybacked every word creeping from his overbite. "I didn't think she even liked boys, Ray. Back in September, I asked her to the movies and she kind of freaked out."
My Tessa burns with desire, but she has standards. I'm the lowest she will go...
Unexpected pleasure dribbled out like yellow droplets, at the knowledge that someone showed even more ineptitude at romance than me. I presented a drooling half-smile at his puzzled face. "Thank you, Steve."
He scratched his wooly head. "How did she end up with you?"
Steve's annoying vocal inflections matched his words of protest at the unfairness of it all. The world of romance could be cruel to the best of us.
Steve has a point. I can't believe it either. None of it should have worked...
Shaking my swirling head, I drawled, "I guess Tessa likes me."
His whine went into overdrive. "What are you going to do with her?"
It was a fair question. I had thoroughly enjoyed Tessa's shadowed charms, but...
When I'm sober? Who knows...
Ignoring his attempt to shame me, I closed my bloodshot eyes, then focused on replaying the quickly fading, grainy, Kodachrome Super 8 mental movie of the best Disneyland trip of my life. Come Monday, I would probably have to face the consequences of my actions, but that could wait, as the first reel from 9:00 AM had already begun its flickering narrative....
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