Chapter 1
“You sold us for a few bucks!” I tried not to show my excitement by jumping around while my mom yelled at the mayor. Her loud screams could be heard from the other side of the town, for sure. Just like a mama tiger.
“Calm down, Daisy. Let’s talk somewhere more private.” The mayor’s voice was very high-pitched. It reminded me of squirrels but his voice was not as pleasant. It lacked the sensible nature of being alive and in love with the world. The mayor only knew money but money can’t save him from my mom’s rage. He’s trapped. Just like he trapped us.
“I’m tired of you.” Mom stood closer to him. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. He looked defeated, as he should. “Everyone hates this!” Her gestures were big, and her face was almost the color of the pink flowers we have at home. Calla lilies. “You’re a scummy liar! You said this was temporary, that if the people wanted it gone, it would be gone.”
“Daisy.” His tone was sharp and his hands were on his hips. It reminded me of how my uncle acted whenever I had a tantrum to avoid taking medicine.
“Do you wanna know what’s gone? My trust in you.” She spits on the ground next to him. “That’s how much your word is worth.”
“Daisy, stop.” I heard a few laughs and spotted a group of people watching them. Surely, laughing at the mayor. They couldn’t be laughing at my mom. Not now.
Her legs and arms were shaking.
I, mindlessly, took a step toward her but stopped myself. She told me she had shivers when she was angry. It’s normal, like the way her face goes red.
She’s been getting angry a lot lately.
The Mayor’s hands were on his pockets, patting them and putting his hands inside. “Look around; you’re the only one bothered by this.” My mom glanced at the people and then at me. I smiled at her to show support. The city didn’t mind that gray building as much as we did, but it did not matter. They don’t care about the animals either. They would burn the woods if they could and not even think about the poor creatures that would be homeless. They’re stupid. All of them. “Here.” He offered her money, as always. As if we cared as much about that paper as he did. She stared at him for a while, her eyes were narrow, and her lips mashed together.
He had an odd smile on his face.
I hate his smile.
When he looks like this, I understand why Mom gets mad whenever he’s around.
Suddenly, a high-pitched scream came out of my mother’s lips.
A loud and shrieking cry, louder than the town’s sense of superiority.
Everyone got quiet.
The laughs stopped.
Everything went silent.
I could hear the sound of people’s shoes while they were walking, ignoring the scene that was so interesting to them a few seconds ago. Mom laughed and came to me, holding my hand so we could leave.
“You’ll have to stop this nonsense one day!” He yelled, and my mom sent him her middle finger.
Most days would always be like this; Mom would fight with the mayor about the ugly building, and she’d get too upset, so we’d retreat to the woods to calm down. I didn’t mind the routine but I worried about her shaking body. It’s been getting worse with time.
The woods were a soft and warm blanket for my mom and me. Our safe place. Our true home. The sounds were much nicer outside of the town’s stupid opinions. They could keep their stupid jokes with them, My mom had me and the woods. And Uncle Hawk too.
As soon as we reached the stream of water that ran through the woods, we took off our shoes. The cool water felt refreshing on our feet and we splashed around for a bit before finding our usual spot to rest. She sighed.
“You must be tired of Mommy fighting, aren’t you?” I frowned at her words. Why would she think that?
“I love when you fight him! He’s an evil man.” Her lips were close but a hint of a smile on her face was enough to make me laugh.
“He’s not evil. He’s just protecting the wrong things.” I nodded so she’d stop talking about that man. “Do you hear this, my little nymph?”
“The wind?” She smiled and opened up her arms, so I hugged her. The soft breeze brushed against my face. Mom carefully put me on her lap, and I enjoyed the feeling of her hair falling on my face while her warm breath caressed my ear.
“Yes, baby. The water, the birds, the soil.” Mom planted a soft kiss on my cheek. A sweet reminder that we’re safe. She put a strand of hair behind my ear. “If you’re quiet enough, you can hear the smallest animals making the cutest noises.”
“And nymphs too?”
“We’re listening to one right now!” We laughed at her joke, but the sight of her hands shaking stopped me.
“Mommy, are you scared?” She frowned. I glanced at her hands so she could see they were shaking. “Is this because of that ugly building?”
“I guess Mommy is still a bit mad about it, huh?” I nodded, and she laughed.
I wished I could’ve said something to the mayor. Maybe if I tried, he’d change his mind. “Let’s lay down so the earth can help me out.” I get up, shake my body as she taught me, and lay back on the humid soil by her side until we synchronize our breathing.
She always says the main problem in our society is the lack of contact with nature. I believe her. I love being in the middle of the trees. The woods were my everything. I could hear the water passing near my feet, the birds chirping everywhere, and the leaves’ movements. I love the feeling of being quiet while surrounded by everything. Mom told me this is life. I still don’t think I understand it, but I like it anyway. Soon, the earth calms us down, and we head home.
“Wait, Nixie. Why is that car in our house?” I frown as I spot the car and look back at her. I guess she forgot again.
“Uncle Hawk’s car?” She shut her eyes closed. “He’s visiting us again today; you told me last week!” She looked at me while I jumped around her, too excited to stay still. “See, I knew you’d forget it!”
“Good job, baby.” She took my hand and we went home. I quickly saw that Uncle Hawk was cooking something in the kitchen, so I pointed at him to my mom and put my index finger on my lips. This was my chance to scare him. I silently walked towards him, eager to make him jump in fear. He was so busy with his whistling that he didn’t even see me. I bet he won’t notice me at all.
“NOT THIS TIME!” I stared at him with my hand in my heart while he laughed. My heart was beating faster than when I play running with him. How did he see me?
“It’s not funny.” I crossed my arms, and he mirrored me.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Nixie. I thought you were trying to scare me.”
“But I was!” He laughed. “How did you see me?”
“Oh! Guess you forgot I’m a Hawk, huh? You’ll have to be quicker next time.” He opened his arms, and I hugged him, resting my head on his shoulder. “Missed you, soybean.”
“I missed you too.” I kissed him on the cheek. He stared at my Mom.
“Daisy? What happened?” Mom sat by the table, and I sighed.
“Mommy was fighting with the mayor, so we went to the woods to calm down.”
“Again?”
“Yes! He doesn’t want to build a prettier building; he likes that foggy smelly thing.” He laughed as if I said something funny. I took a deep breath in. I tried not to take it personally the way they kept laughing at everything I said. It happened a lot. “You should’ve seen Mom!”
“Was she fierce?”
“She was the fiercest, like a lion!” He smiled and turned off the stove. “Actually, like a dog. She was shaking so much I thought we were going to have to lie down on the ground already. It’d be a little hard with that many people around.”
“Shaking, Daisy?” Mom rolled her eyes while I sat by her side and Uncle Hawk put a slice of cake on a plate for me. “Have you been to a doctor yet?”
“It’s nothing.” Lemon cake. My favorite.
“Bullshit. And your legs...” I took a bite.
“I’m fine, can’t you see?” The sour taste of the lemon was dancing on my tongue like a flock of birds in the sky. So good.
“Of course, he can see, Mom! He’s a Hawk!” They laughed and I smiled, putting another piece of cake in my mouth. I wish I could marry this cake. But then I’d have to murder my husband. It wouldn’t be very nice. Although there are animals that do this. Something to think about.
“I’m worried about you.” And I wanted another piece of cake.
“And that’s why you came!” It wouldn’t be very big girl of me to ask them now. They were fighting.
“No.” He let out a sigh. “I told you I have something to deal with here.”
“And what is it?” He put a hand on her shoulder. Maybe now I could get their attention.
“You should stop fighting about the factory.” Mom rolled her eyes. “It’s a load of crap. I get it, you’re fucking mad, but it shouldn’t cost your health.”
“It’s not costing me my health.” My cake. My sweet and sour cake. I think I could say I’m starving now. But I just ate. It wouldn’t make sense.
“You keep fucking forgetting things, Daisy.”
“You have a lousy mouth.” Mom got up and Uncle Hawk followed her. I stayed. I had to find a way to reach that cake, there’s no way they’re coming back soon.
Uncle Hawk was visiting more frequently and they always fought over the doctor. He wanted Mom to go, but she didn’t want to.
I don’t understand her, I love going to the doctor. I always eat lollipops there.
She always wins at the end. I don’t know why Uncle Hawk keeps trying. But we are a very persistent family. Kudos to us. Too bad they had to fight while I’m hungry.
A few knocks on the door took me out of my thoughts, and Uncle Hawk asked me to see who it was. Whoever it was, it wasn’t very nice of them to interrupt my plan to get more cake. I glimpsed through the window and saw the journalist that talked to my mom a few months ago.
“It’s the cameraman!” Everything happened so fast. Uncle Hawk walked to the door in small and quick steps and gripped the man’s shirt. I gasped, and he told me to get inside.
I didn’t.
“You listen to me, you despicable piece of fucking crap.” He held the man against the wall as he squirmed, trying to get out of Uncle Hawk’s hold. “You get near my sister again, and I’ll make you eat pig’s shit.”
“I was doing my job.” My uncle slammed him against the wall and I screamed, asking Mom to come.
“She fucking trusted you! You told her you wanted to know more about her worries only to make her look like a fucking freak in your shit-ass news.”
“I think that was all her.” Uncle Hawk punched his face and the man laughed. I started to scream louder, asking Mom to hurry.
“Get your dirty ass out of here.” Uncle Hawk gritted his teeth. The cameraman stared at Uncle Hawk with a weird smile showing on his face, similar to the mayor’s, and then he looked at me. I squinted my eyes and scrunched my nose, trying to look mad.
“See you later, girl.” He bowed and my uncle pushed him out.
“Don’t fucking speak to my niece.”
“Hawk! What are you doing?” Mom was visibly trembling, her body quivering with a force that seemed to come from within. She held her head with one hand, as if trying to steady herself and keep the world from spinning out of control. Her eyes were tightly shut, and her face was contorted in pain or distress.
“Mommy, what happened?” She didn’t answer me, instead, she looked at my uncle, with her lips mashed together as he closed the door. “Uncle Hawk, you angered mom!”
“I’m fine, little nymph. Have you eaten your cake already?” She smiled at me and I nodded. “Then, go. I’ll get you another piece.” I looked at my uncle and he smiled at me. I nodded and went back to the kitchen. I’ve never seen Uncle Hawk being mean to someone before. I tried to remember what did the cameraman do to him, but they had never interacted before. The last time I saw him, he asked Mom a few questions in our living room. He had a big camera and even let me use it a little. As soon as I sat down, I heard a loud noise of something heavy falling.
“Nixie, get my car keys. We’re going to the hospital.” Uncle Hawk appeared in the kitchen holding my mom in his arms, and I rushed to find the keys.
“What’s happening?” Uncle Hawk ignored my question and pointed at the door with his head and I rushed to open it.
The journey to the hospital was scary, Mom was shaking and her eyes were closed. Uncle Hawk didn’t know what was happening, and there was little I could do to help. I held her hand while her head rested on my lap. Although she trembled a lot, I had a good hold of her. As soon as we arrived, the doctors took her inside, and I stayed at the reception with Loris. Uncle Hawk went with Mom and told me to wait for him.
Usually, I liked Loris. She was fun and clever and always let me eat candy when Mom and I came to take vaccines. This time, though, I just wanted to be with my mom.
After too long of a wait, Uncle Hawk sat by my side. His eyes were shiny, but he wasn’t smiling. A bit weird since he always told me not to cry. He took my hands, and I noticed his feet tapping on the floor. He usually did this when he was nervous.
“Uncle Hawk, your eyes are not sparkling.” He held my hands tighter than before and started crying.
“No, princess, they’re glistening.” I hugged him, and he pulled me into his lap.
“Why are you crying?” He kissed my hand while weeping. “You told me eyes should only sparkle with joy.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He placed his fingers on my jawline so I would stare at him. “I’ll have to change that now.” He closed his eyes and a few tears came down his face. “Soybean, it’s okay to feel sad. When the world falls apart, your heart will swell and a bunch of water will come out of your pretty eyes. Your head, it may feel like it’s going to explode.” My heartbeat went faster and my hands began to shake. Mom already talked to me about crying. She said Uncle Hawk didn’t like to see me sad but it was okay if I wanted to show sadness. He took his hand off my face to hold my hand again. “It has its beauty too.”
“What is happening?” His grip on my hands was stronger than before and his hands were shaking as much as mine. Maybe, more. It worried me. He was repeating the things Mom told me when my bunny ran away.
“I want you to know that when your eyes get watery like this, especially if it misses something so bad, it’s because you had the privilege to have known the most beautiful of things that exist on this planet.”
“What did I lose?” He held his breath, and I mirrored him. I looked at his face searching for a clue about what he might be trying to say. Maybe Mommy told him about my bunny. I didn’t have a chance to tell him about it, yet. “Is this about my bunny? It’s okay. Mommy told me they go away.”
“No, soybean.” He placed a kiss on my forehead and took a long breath in. “I’m so sorry, Nixie. Daisy...” He sobbed, and I kept looking at him. Waiting. “Your mom just died.”
