First Crystal

章 1

As the first snowflake settled, it whispered secrets of a winter tale waiting to unfold.

I saw the blinding lights sparkling, and the snowflakes falling upon me, all the liveliness around me, tears every ounce of strength that I have left. Couples holding hands and kissing under the first snow of the year, kids laughing and parents joying.

And what hurts the most is that they might be kissing.

My vision blurs and everything around me blurs, as salty water fills my eyes, and my tears start to drop one after another. Slowly yet gradually I start to break apart, and my walls crumble beneath my feet and I start crying, my legs give up as I fall to the ground and let out loud cries.

Today, I don’t care about anyone seeing me like this because you know what, I am dead.

I am not done but dead.

This life is truly killing me, I am going to end this. Right now, I am at the “Stairs of Love.” There are stairs which lead to this beautiful balcony, surrounded by stalls of food and shops.

Getting up, I take steps and start to climb the stairs. Reaching the top, My hands curl around the railing and I am about to climb and go to the other side when a voice stops me,

“Stop darling stop.” I look around, who is it? But I found no one. “Don’t do this, wait my dear.” I pause waiting for it to continue. “No doubt the rewards of patience are indeed worth the pain and conflict, just don’t give up.”

“But haven’t I been waiting for four years? Isn’t that enough?” I ask, trying to figure out the sudden reluctance in my heart, I leave the railing. I wait for the answer, some kind of reply but nothing comes. No reply, I feel disheartened but this time I am not on the verge of crying.

I go down the stairs, my hands tucked in my pocket when I see them both climb up the stairs, arms around each other and laughing while eating cotton candy.

They look happy together, May God bless them and make their lives full of happiness. I smile and don’t let my tears fall and go to the stall, and buy cotton candy for myself. I tuck my handsfree into my ears and listen to songs, as I run down the lane and then dance. I run into the Photo booth and take cute, and funny photos. Then, I go to the Karaoke room.

I sing till I can’t breathe any more, and along with it, I dance.

Ahh, I am tired. I walk out of the room, covered with sweat, my hair clinging to my face. I gather them up in a ponytail and tie them up.

Walking towards my house, I smile as I look at the photos and the videos I made. I am going to post them on my Instagram, I have a personal Instagram account, but no one knows about it.

It’s just me and myself.

“Ava, stop.” I halt and quickly turn around.

He runs to cover up the small distance between us, “Mom, was saying she is going throw an early Christmas party tomorrow and she’s saying it would be pleasant if you come.”

I nod my head, staring at his face, I say,

“I would be glad to come.”

There’s a myth that always goes like, “If you kiss on the first snowfall, then your love is truly bound to be forever.” But maybe, if things were different then I could’ve been believing in those things.

He stares at me, and I wait for him to continue. But as he says nothing I say, “Then, Goodnight.”

“Oh, Good Ni-gg-ht.” he stutters. He seems nervous. I smile and turn around when he says, “Wait.” I turn around and look at him. He doesn’t look well.

“I wanted to ask you something,” he says blows out a breath, and rubs his hands together. I dip my head indicating him to continue. “Are you okay?” he asks and my lungs refuse to work with oxygen anymore.

Maybe he saw me crying back there, no no. He can’t but this is the first time he has asked me this question. Heck, this is the longest we have talked, apart from the usual invites by his mother.

Even though my insides are rattled by his sudden question, I smile warmly and reply, “ Yeah, is something wrong?” He shakes his head and rubs his hand on his nape. “Well, thanks for asking.”

“May I walk you to your house?” Fuck, freaking fuck. Oh my God. Calm down, his house is next to yours, maybe that’s why he offered and not to look like a freak walking behind you alone, together would be better. Yeah. I nod and walk along. My hands are in my hoodie pockets and his hands are in his jeans pockets.

“It snowed for the first time today,” he states and I nod. “It was magical,” I say. He stops and looks at me, “You are positive.” I laughed, for the first time today, even the fun I had a lot didn’t make me this happy.

“Why are you laughing?” he asks me with an amused expression. “I just, nothing.” I happily say, biting my lips.

“We live next door and have reached.” I motion towards the door and he nods.

“See you tomorrow,” he says and I wave him goodbye. I turn around, walk to my door and insert the lock-in, before entering I look back, to see him entering the front porch of his villa. I look at my house and then his. Exhaling a loud sigh, I entered the house and shut the door of my house.

I look around at my comfortable house, at least I have a warm, cosy shelter above my head. Heck, it’s even better than everything. It’s more than everything that I have ever wanted, as it saves the money for rent that I have to spend on apartments.

Everything happens for a good reason.

MAYBE, I walk into my room and turn the lights on.

Yay, I am going to his house tomorrow. I should wear my best dress. I open my cupboard and look in but pout. I see three to four dresses hanging, my fancy ones but I have worn these a lot of times.

I am going to go to buy a dress tomorrow, I might have some extra money. Jumping and shrieking, I jump on my bed and hide my face in my hands.

I am going to dress up pretty for him.