❄️⛓️1. Chain⛓️❄️
Approaching this period only makes my heart freeze more.
I see everyone happy, but I can't understand why.
Even Silk keeps smiling! She is doing preparations and chores, and my princess, April, is always happily jumping around the house singing Christmas carols.
I want so much to share in their joy because I can't. It doesn't work for me. I try to smile hurriedly, so as not to spoil their mood but I think Silk has this magical ability to read me very well! But she is discreet and doesn't tell me anything... for now...
Christmas has always been a day of celebration, joy, hope, and carefree for everyone! It might even have been for me... if I hadn't gone out that snowy day...!
{Flashback}
Snow is said to symbolize joy. I remember very well what I felt when I first saw it outside the window of my room!
I wanted to go out and see what it was, to catch it, to play outside in the thick, layered snow like some children I saw in the background!
I've always been alone. I had no brothers I was bored alone all day. I had to lock myself in my room because mom didn't want me to go out. She was drinking while she brought her friends to our house.
But I knew that she wakes up late, usually at noon, so I got ready full of curiosity and after dressing warmly, as warmly as I could, quickly putting on the only jacket I had and the only boots, I went out to face this white wonder!
It was my first time going out to see it up close! It rarely snowed in the winter where I lived. Other years when I happened to see it, I was younger and at that time a lot was happening at home, as a result of which I would stay locked in my room and see passers-by from the window, but mostly children, warmly dressed in their caps and mittens, grabbing snow in their hands, making balls, and throw it at each other. It looked like so much fun. I could tell by the laughs and smiles on their faces. They had friends, the brothers. I was alone, locked in here. I was trying to find a way to pass my time but no one would show me how, I had no toys, no books. No one cared what I wanted. Since I grew up locked up here, I didn't know what I was missing, or what other kids like me were doing, so it seemed normal to me.
What demands should a child have at 3 or 4? But when I grew up and had to go to school, I saw the world around me for the first time. I compared... then I realized how deprived I was living. I understood what kind of family I grew up in. Something I thought was normal, but unfortunately, it wasn't. Something I thought was normal turned out to be an awful reality.
When I first got up the courage to tell my mother I wanted a toy for Christmas, I got a "gift" of a slap, accusing me of being ungrateful and demanding.
I began to remember when I went to school and discovered the awful world in which I now live. I preferred to live in my comforting delusion because the truth was inconsolable, there was no turning back...
I was always locked in my room but now that I'm older I've found a way to unlock the door.
So last year, I took a chance and ran away from home for the first time! I felt proud of myself. I felt like I had accomplished something big! I felt like I was old. I got out of my prison.
I stepped on the thick snow at first scared, then, I felt free!
For the first time, I felt this feeling of freedom!
I reached my home instead.
I watched insatiably as the other children playing various games with their friends. I bent down and took a big bite then I decided on a tree just to see how it popped I didn't saw some of my classmates playing together! When I went to greet them they simply avoided me and moved away from me. I went to turn around, but then I understood why they left.
- Didn't I tell you not to leave the house? My mother said.
Painted, in a torn fishnet kilt, and boots, her face smeared with what she usually wore to look pretty, only she looked worse because she'd slept with them on her face as usual and she looked miserable. Her speech was heavy from cigarettes and tobacco, she spoke like the drunkards I sometimes saw on the street and avoided them. I felt really bad. I wanted to run away.
She pulled me by the jacket in a nasty way and dragged me into the house.
Another day I would spend alone in my room, accompanied by her voice, hungry..
{End of Flashback}
Every Christmas the same sad memories. I didn't have any good memories to talk about them with Silk, because if I tell them I'll remember them and feel even worse.
I was trying so hard for the sake of the days and after seeing them so happy, to smile as sincerely as I could, maybe I will understand something different this year, maybe my two angels will succeed and do a miracle and something will change in me.
April was jumping and decorating her house together with Silk. If I'm smiling with a big smile it's not because of Christmas but because I see my girls.
I continued to work in the living room on my laptop as long as I could, taking hot breaks by looking at them.
Don't you want to help us decorate my love? Sure you'll always have work, but we do this once a year.
Silk said with a warm and bright smile that every time I saw her, I could feel her eyes smiling too and it made me melt. How can I refuse now?
I closed the laptop and put it aside. I only got up for her.
- Yes!!! Dad will decorate too!!
I opened my stride and ran, making a surprise attack on my princess, suddenly grabbing her by the waist and lifting her into my arms, kissing her cheeks.
- Hahahahaha Daddy!!! Your beard stings me! Haha
What a shame Princess Strawberry, because I find you very tasty!
I said and put her in my arms and she wrapped her little arms around my neck and waved her little legs happily. I knew from the jumping that she would probably be a dancer when she grew up!
- If you pick me up, I'll put the star on the tree! I can't do it alone.
- Whatever my angel wants!
- That's the star, Dad! There in the box!
She said showing me a big box of Christmas decorations, colorful shiny balls with gold dust and silver dust, ribbons, and beautiful designs in a variety of patterns... I found the star meant for the top of the tree, I took it and gave it to my daughter.
- Thanks Dad and now let's go to the tree to put it on.
You're amazing and I couldn't spoil her enough.
- Yes my dear!
I took her close and holding her carefully, she placed the star as best she could at the top of the tree. It went in a bit crooked, but I straightened it out too.
- What a nice dad!! Thank you for letting me put it up, said my sweetie.
It's so strange that once I didn't even have a tree to decorate, not even an ornament and I even used to work during holidays. Now, I'm happy with my family, we have everything but still, I can't feel anything. Even when I grab the ornaments I feel empty inside. I consider them unnecessary and distracting for my work. But since they bring joy to Silk and April, I try to find the meaning myself.
I saw Silk looking at me as she was decorating.
I can't escape and I know it.
I let April down.
- Come on, pick out the decorations you want baby, and show them to me later so we can put them on. Ok? I told her and approached Silk.
- How can I help you, baby? What do you want me to do? I asked her.
- I don't want to bore you. We are doing just fine, both of your angels!
Either smiling at me, as if she guessed how I felt, despite my fake smiles and my attempt to be helpful and not let them know what I felt.
- Are you sure? I asked placing a kiss behind her ear.
- Yes baby.
- Dad! Dad, look I picked out the ornaments.
- Nice my dear. I'm coming to tell me where you want it.
I went near the tree and followed my princess' instructions.
Somehow the day passed, and I didn't even realize it until evening.I was so tired and fell on the couch. Silk also sat, leaning her head on my chest.
- After all, you helped us whether you wanted to or not! Silk said.
- April knows how to drag me by the nose. I said laughing.
- You have a lot of work these days...
I turned and looked at her.
- Job never stops my love!
- Not even for these days of celebration?
I remained silent. I didn't want to spoil it for her and tell her what I thought about these days.
- But I imagine you have let all of your employees take some days out, she said in turn.
- For this very reason, one must work!
- Chain, you gave them all permission to leave so that you work in their place?
She was looking at me in shock.
- Baby, you know me...It's not the first time...
She couldn't hide the disappointment that was painted on her face.
- Yes, every time you work on such days... I believe it happened by chance, but now I see that it is something else...
- What do you mean?
- Nothing Chain... nothing. She said and got up tiredly.
- I'm going upstairs to sleep.
- I'm coming too.
We had put April to bed early because she was sleeping on the carpet from exhaustion.
I followed her to our room.
- Silk? What happened just now?
- Nothing Chain. She said and continued to remove her clothes.
- You can't leave me without saying a word. What did you mean?
I asked again approaching her what she was doing turning to me.
- I meant you became a workaholic.
I didn't believe her.
- Forget it, baby! She said softening and wrapping her arms around my neck bringing my lips close.
I let her magic drag me into our world, the one I understood very well! In her tongue, I knew how to follow the rhythm she gave me, her scent which I followed with my eyes closed in the erotic monotonies of pleasure she carved for me. I don't need to think, I don't need to worry about things, I don't need to know. All I needed, was for my fairy to enchant me in her magical dance, wrap me in her gold dust, and get lost in her Land of Love.
Her fingers skilfully slid under my t-shirt making my whole body shiver! She knew what she was doing.
I took her lips longingly. I missed them. How long has it been since I last kissed her like that? Five or six hours? I missed them anyway!
The caresses of her tongue made me stifle the moan I was about to let out. My hands wrapped around her body and started caressing it.
I drove us slowly to our bed.
She grabbed my T-shirt pulled it over my head and threw it away. Luckily she hadn't put on pyjamas. She did not have time. I smiled wickedly.
I leaned over her and assumed the position and expression that foretold one thing: that we would be up all night. Maybe I could get her to confess what she meant by her words.
- Well baby? I said as I slid into her the way she liked making her moan.
- Chain...
- Yes baby, it's me! I didn't know what I did was so good it made you lose my mind.
I continued even more slowly but persistently improvising and discovering new techniques that left her speechless and me fanatically admiring the new screams and sounds of her voice.
I lifted her legs and grabbing her hips gently lifted her hitting a new spot deeper making her almost cry out.
She showed tremendous restraint given the circumstances. It was Silk that I couldn't easily resist but when she rode me like that with her claws and got into forbidden areas my limits were in danger of being overstepped. My little self-control was shaken in the wind and my panting breath was completely cut off. Only if I gave an end to my torment would stop.
My dangerously fast heartbeat was the hallmark of a redemptive climax. Her body squirmed under mine, drawing me into the luscious feelings that only Silk awakened in me.
- My Angel! Are you here? I groaned lost in the paths of love, passion, subconscious, past, and present!
- Yes! Chain, I'm here! Silk moaned whimpering into mine as I felt the magical moment of our union once again that was never the same butmade me wonder about this miracle that happens to me every time I'm with her.
- You are mine! I screamed into her hair as the sweetness of the union shocked me again, and left me exhausted in her arms.
Silk's lips stuck on my chest where my heart still beat irregularly.
- I was always yours Chain, before I even met you....I just hadn't found you yet...
