Chapter 1
It’s been two months since my father passed away. I never imagined I would experience pain like this. I always assumed he would live forever, that I would be the one to go first. But reality proved otherwise. He’s gone now, and no amount of grief can bring him back. I’m left under the care of my uncle, my godfather. From the moment I was born, my father insisted that he play this role. Despite my mother’s preference for her ex-boyfriend to be my godfather, my father’s decision prevailed. Now, I feel like an outsider in my uncle’s family. He never anticipated being put in this position when he agreed to be my godfather. Taking me in was a responsibility thrust upon him. Yet, amidst the upheaval, there’s a silver lining—I have newfound siblings. At least, I think that’s what they are. Since my uncle formally adopted me, I’m unsure whether we’re siblings or cousins. Beatrice and Alexander, their perspectives mirroring their father’s, make me feel invisible. I wish I could leave, but I have nowhere else to go. No one else offered me shelter. They’ve arranged a space for me in what used to be their craft room. An inflatable mattress, four blankets, and a single pillow lie amidst stacks of quilts, paintings, and unfinished projects. Whenever I see the room, a wave of dread washes over me. Lying on this plain inflatable mattress, gazing at the ceiling, I can’t shake off the feelings of humiliation, unworthiness, and being unwanted.
