Chapter 1
It all happened when I started college. The need for money, even with a scholarship, had been knocking at my door, and the options were limited. I was neither against nor pro when it came to video chatting. Everyone had a choice, and I didn't expect to make that one. A cam girl? My roommate was one, and she suggested I should try too. It was quick money, and I was desperate at the time. Living in the heart of Chicago wasn't cheap, and I had to pay rent, consume food, and take care of all the essentials. When I started, I didn't even think I could make it, but the surprise was huge when I earned more than my roommate, who had started just after she finished high school.
The men loved me instantly, and for months, I kept wondering why. Perhaps it was because of my choice in displaying me, or better said, the lack of it. I kept everything on the show except my face, hidden by a delicate porcelain mask and the bubblegum pink wig. I was cautious about my reputation and identity.
That was when I started college, and I kept telling myself I would quit after I finish my studies in digital design, and will get a proper job. The years passed by, college was over, and I still maintained the cam girl posture as Miss Bunny. That's my alter ego on SugarGirls, the video chat site where I hosted my shows.
Today I woke up earlier, did some groceries, and came back to my apartment in Chicago. I was still living by rent but looked forward to buying a house and getting away from the pressure of paying rent every month. Setting my grocery bag on the kitchen counter, I started to unpack when my phone rang. Checking the caller ID, it was my former roommate, Irma.
"Hey, Irma. What's up?" I asked after I answered her, putting her on speaker so I could continue unpacking the groceries.
"I called you to congratulate you on being one of the top girls on SugarGirls!" I chuckled at her enthusiasm.
"Jeez. Thank you. I am sure that's everyone's goal." I commented, putting the cans of food in the kitchen cabinets.
"You don't sound too happy." Her excitement died at my sour voice, and I sighed.
"It's not that I am not happy. You know, when I started this, I thought I was going to do something else at this point." I confessed, opening the freezer to put the bags of food inside.
"I know. You wanted to work in digital design, get a respectable job at a huge company, but you know the competition is thick, especially in big cities." I rolled my eyes.
"I have put my application and CV on a lot of companies. One must call at some point."
"And you're gonna quit being a cam girl then?" She asked, and I thought deeply about it.
"Just making and saving enough money to buy a house, something permanent, then I will put this side of my life on delete mood." She started to laugh at my plan, but I could tell it wasn't a genuine one.
"Oh, and you think as a digital designer you will make the same amount of money as a cam girl?" her question was rhetorical.
"I am not hoping for that," I whispered, finishing unpacking the groceries. Picking up the phone from the table, I went into the living room and laid down on the couch with my phone on my chest, just staring at the white ceiling.
"And you surely don't enjoy the fancy gifts the male fans are sending you, huh? Come on, Selina. The moment you give up on this, you will miss out on the little luxuries coming with this position, not to mention the male attention."
"Trust me. I can live without the male attention." I remarked, closing my eyes and trying to make order in my mind.
"Speaking of men... When was the last time you went on a date with a guy or had a relationship? You need to get out more and meet new people." Irma told me, bringing into the conversation the romantic aspect of my life, which was pretty much inexistent.
"Let's assume I go out on a date with a guy. What are we supposed to talk about? What will I say when he asks about my job? Oh, hey... you know I work as a cam girl. You know, nothing fancy." Sarcasm dripped like venom from my tongue, and I rubbed the bridge of my nose, feeling like a headache was forming.
"Alright, wise girl. Then what's your plan?" Irma sighed, knowing very well how stubborn I could be.
"I am gonna continue with being a cam girl until I have enough money to buy a house. Maybe in one year or so, and until then I will find a proper job to keep myself on a balance, and I will put Miss Bunny into the history." I explained so she could get off my back.
"Sounds like a good plan, but seriously speaking now. Do whatever makes you feel happy and at peace with yourself." A soft smile curled on my lips, knowing even if she could be harsh sometimes, she wanted the best for me. After all, we went through college together and through hardships, and we have built a strong friendship in these past years.
"Thanks, girl. I really do miss our college days." I admitted, nostalgia filling me as I recall the late-night studies, the weekends of hanging out, and simply having fun.
"Me too, but sadly, time goes by, and we are adults now, 26, and before you know it, we will be old grannies. You know, you just have to find a guy who will accept you with all your luggage, bad and good."
I chuckled. "Like you did?"
"Of course, duh!" I laughed at her overly dramatic voice. "I am happy for you and Kaden. I think it's nice to have someone who knows everything about you and doesn't judge."
"It truly is. You will find one of your own one day. Don't worry. Anyway, I have to go. I am preparing a romantic lunch for when Kaden gets home. You know, trying to maintain the romance." She laughed. "Also, you should consider visiting Miami sometimes. We always welcome you here."
"I will think about it. Have fun!"
"Thanks! And have fun tonight. I know your fans are dying to see you again, Miss Bunny." I chuckled, shaking my head. "Whatever you say. Hear from you soon, bye!"
After ending the call with Irma, I went about with my daily routine. I prepared lunch and ate, cleaned a bit around the apartment, then did some research on job offerings in digital design, and as the night closed in, I started to prepare for the erotic show. While I adjusted the black lace lingerie on my body, I couldn't help but think deeply about how mundane my life was. Even if I made a lot of money, most if not all of it, went into saving for my future house, and of course, for the rent, bills, and strict necessities.
Most cam girls travel, live their lives to the fullest in luxury, and meet attractive men at exclusive parties. Me? I was living my life in solitude, attempting to work out my salacious identity to buy some property. I knew I had my male fans, but I barely knew them. Plus, with my secret identity, I couldn't risk meeting anyone of them.
I adjusted my pink wig and mask, checking myself in the mirror, illuminated by LED lights. A sigh passed my lips, not bothering to put on any make-up since I did not show my face, so that saved me a lot of time. Checking the clock, I still had ten minutes before the show. I looked over the room where I did all my videos. It was the typical sexy bedroom scene, with pink accents like Playboy bunny pillows, fluffy carpet, and sensual LED lights to make the atmosphere.
Walking in front of the webcam with the big computer screen, I licked my lips, seeing the fans had already entered the chat, waiting for the live show to start. Even after so long, I still had this anxiety about putting myself on display for so many men.
Five more minutes.
Sometimes I wondered if any of them genuinely liked me, or simply lusted after me. Would they like me if they knew who I truly was? Shaking my head, I took a deep breath and prepared my other self to take control, someone with more self-confidence. The red circle at the top of the chat turned green, announcing the start.
"Hello, everyone! It's so nice to see you guys! I've been missing you a lot, and I love all the gifts I got from you." I spoke in a happy-go-lucky voice, putting a lot of body language on display, arching my back and pushing my chest forward, making my breasts appear plumper by the push-up bra.
Everyone in the comment section of the chat was excited to see me, typing all sorts of compliments, some more raunchy than the others, but it was nothing new to me. That's the world of video chat; sexual energy is everywhere. The show continued like always; we started with some flirty chatting, some provocative posing, and the usual lascivious stripping until my naked body was on display for my audience. The guys were constantly tipping with tokens that resembled virtual money. Some tipped more than others and I decided to do something new for tonight.
"Alright, guys! Tonight, I have a special offer. The one who tips the most will receive an exclusive chat with me tonight. So let the money flow and see who is the most giving of you all!" I announced and for a moment, I felt like backing away. This was against my boundaries, but something pushed me tonight to change the game. Maybe it was boredom, or maybe the yearning to actually talk to a guy, to one of my fans. Call it curiosity, but the need for a change had nipped at my nerves for some time.
The people in the chat started to tip like crazy. Token after token filled my digital wallet and a huge smile stretched across my face. They truly wanted to get to know me or were just desperate to find my identity. Shivers went down my spine, seeing how much I was making tonight and this adrenaline rush only intensified when one guy tipped me 10.000 tokens. My eyes widened, and I nearly stopped breathing, seeing the others giving up, obviously not having enough tokens to overcome this contender. The username of this person was BlackMamba, and it gave me the creeps, but I put the negative feeling aside.
"Well, looks like we have a winner. Congratulations, BlackMamba!" I spoke in a cheerful voice, clapping my hands together and it surprised me the other guys weren't rude to him. On the contrary, they congratulated him too. Comments such as 'Get it man!' or 'Lucky Bastard!' filled the chat section.
"Thank you so much to everyone for joining tonight! We will see each other tomorrow with extra surprises! Hugs and kisses to everyone!" I said before stopping the live stream and I quickly took off my mask, finally feeling like I could breathe properly. This was ridiculous. I've done this for years and should be used to it. All I wanted now was to drink some wine while taking a long bubble bath. The plan of relaxation vanished as I remembered that I had to chat now privately with the winner of tonight.
The thought of talking with an old and libidinous man made my skin crawl.
Maybe he is not old. Maybe he is good-looking, and considering the number of tokens of tonight, he had money in his wallet. I mentally laughed at this highly unlikely prospect. Truth be told, I never cared about money when it came to men. I believed in myself that I could provide financially alone. If I were to look into a guy for something specific, it would be natural attention. A man who has eyes only for me, and for the feeling to be mutual. My laptop rang as I received a message, and a private chat box appeared on the screen. It was the guy who won, and he was calling me on video. My fingers trembled as I put the mouse cursor on the green accept button. I deactivated first my webcam so he couldn't see me, and then I hit accept.
Anticipation filled me as I took in the person on the webcam. He was masculine, obviously, but a black balaclava obscured his identity with a white skull design over it and a dark hood. There was a certain dark attractiveness to it, and what intrigued me the most were his eyes. They were a stark light grey, almost seeming to look straight through my soul. I've never seen eyes like his before, from what I recall.
"H-Hey..." I was the one who spoke first, and I hated how trembling my voice sounded, so different from the confident one my alter ego used in the sexy shows. My true self was shy, self-conscious, and perhaps awkward when it came to speaking to the other sex.
"Hey there." His voice was very deep, gravely so, and it punctured right between my legs. I've always had a weakness for husky and deep voices, giving off masculine energy. At least he had a pleasant voice, so the conversation wouldn't be obnoxious and unpleasant to my ears. There was also a hint of an accent in his voice. It sounded something like... Italian, maybe?
"C-Congratulation and T-Thank you for the huge tip." I shuttered out, and I was ready to face-palm myself for sounding like a broken record. There came a deep chuckle, and I clenched my thighs at how good it sounded, almost like the deep jazz music from a classy club.
"You sound different from before, ragazza." I was lucky I was sitting down on the fluffy white carpet because if I had sat up, I would probably have fallen from how my legs turned to jelly in the smooth way he spoke. He was undoubtedly Italian by the strong accent, plus I learned Italian for one year in high school and knew some basic talking in this language.
"W-What do you mean... different?" I questioned, shifting a little as I tried to find a comfortable position on the faux fur carpet with my legs tucked underneath me.
"You sound nervous... kind of shy," he answered, all laid-back and relaxed, almost like he had all the time in the world.
"I-I've never done this before, talking with one of my fans in private." I nibbled on my lower lip and my fingers constantly twitched as I glanced from time to time at the porcelain mask. He couldn't see me, so why bother putting it on?
"I know you don't do private shows, and I am curious why. Most girls do it to get more money out of it. Extra tips, if you'd like me to say so." I didn't expect these questions from him, and a part of me was glad he wasn't some sort of old pervert, but another part made me wonder why he was so curious about my type of approach to the video chat industry.
"True. I could make more money on private shows, but I want to keep a certain distance between me and my fans. Call it abrasiveness, but I do prefer privacy over monetary winning." There was no lie in my speech. Honesty was important, even with a masked stranger. It was hard to depict what he was thinking with his disguise on.
"And what changed tonight?" There was a moment of silence, and my mind felt like a chaotic library and I was in search of a specific book.
"I-I don't know..." I whispered, and I sounded like someone whose ambitions have been killed; a sour cherry in a basket of fruits.
"You sound a little down. Everything alright?" He sounded genuinely concerned and his grey eyes softened, the only aspect I could read about him.
"I-I am fine, just been having a lot on my mind in the past few months," I admitted, running my fingers through the white fur of the rug absent-mindedly.
"Do you want to talk about it? I know nothing feels better than talking about your problems with someone." His suggestion surprised me, and I felt reluctant to speak with him about the thoughts that haunted me at night, keeping me awake and making me constantly analyze my life.
"Are you sure?" A bitter chuckle left me. "I doubt you want to listen to someone's sour problems late at night when you have something better to do."
"I did win the high bid tonight, no?" He narrowed his eyes a little and crossed his arms over his chest. Even if it was very dark from where he was video chatting, I could make out his body structure. He wasn't skinny that much, I could tell. His bulging biceps were prominent even with his black sweater hood. "So I decide how to spend the money, right?" His question was rhetorical. I sighed, knowing he had a good point. Plus, I felt sort of grateful he didn't want anything sexual; only talking... about me.
"Alright, point taken. What do you want to hear?" Another slight pause, and he spoke again.
"Everything that haunts you, Bunny."
