37 Days Later

POV

Millie

The days leading up to today were simple really. I sat in the hotel suite going over my thoughts in my mind on a decision but honestly, the decision has always been simple, it’s him. No matter how hard I fight, it’s him.

I’ve known all along that X is the man for me, I was just too stubborn and filled with self-pride to admit it to myself. He makes me feel alive for once in my life. Is what he did acceptable? Not in the least, but has he shown me that he’s regretful for his actions? He has.

I’ve never met a man like X. He is a complicated, complex human and his list of 20 answers showed just that. His life was chosen for him since day one and it’s all he’s ever known.

But when it comes to me?

I am unknown territory, love is new to him in every single way and he shouldn’t be constantly punished for his regretful mistakes. It’s going to take time to get to where we once were but I’m hopeful that we will and step one is forgiveness.

Today, I can offer forgiveness. Trust will have to come in time but my love exists yesterday, today, and will be tomorrow. I don’t know where we will be in six months from now, a year, hell even five years.

If you asked me five years ago where I’d be today I’d laugh in your face. Life is completely unexpected, you’re on a roller coaster of highs and lows and no matter what you do, or what you plan, you’re buckled in tight for the ride.

As I sit on the ledge of the cool concrete fountain, I twiddle my fingers together as I become engulfed with nerves. I pray X knows where to find me but above all else, I hope he can also forgive me for my childish behavior with Nick. The other night when X saw Nick and I together was an absolute shit show. It was beyond uncomfortable on all ends but especially for me. I broke all three of our hearts by my immaturity. I wasn’t necessarily trying to get back at X this time around but I was trying to get over him, unsuccessfully might I add by seeing Nick.

I pull down X’s black hoodie to cover my hands as a nervous reaction and bite at the nail of my middle finger.

About forty minutes ago, I sent the letter written to X with Steph before she came here. She badgered the hell out of me to know what it was all about but it’s only for X to know. Honestly, Steph has no idea that I’m awkwardly sitting out here waiting for the love of my life.

The minutes are starting to feel like hours at this point and I’m starting to question whether I should still stand out here or just go to my new apartment. I still haven’t gone into my new home, I went to the building to sign the paperwork this morning but my priorities lie with X before I can do anything else.

My heart is about ready to pound out of my chest when I see the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen in my life open the front door. He’s clearly out of breath, panting for air like he just ran a marathon. He runs down the stairs, two at a time, and towards me. I can’t help the smile that comes over my face when he reaches me.

“Are you serious?” X asks when he reaches me.

I nod my head because I can’t even form real words right now.

He drops to his knees, praising the lord for this amazing moment. I contemplate falling to my knees as well to show my appreciation to god.

I can’t help but laugh at his silly nature as he lifts me into his arms twirling me around as he gets too much saliva all over my face, but right now I wouldn’t want it any other way.

He sets me back down searching my eyes as I search his. I take both of my hands to cradle his soft stubbled face and simply ask him, “Xavier, what on earth is the point of being alive if you’re not really living?”

I recite those same words back to him from the other night on the beach. The words hold so much truth to them. We’re given one life, do with it what you will, but I want to live mine, I’m done living each day without meaning. I’m done being the NPC in life, I want to be the main character again.

He takes my hands in his and presses his forehead to mine, “Baby…” he says and brings his lips to mine stealing away such a passionate kiss, telling me he couldn’t agree more to what I’ve just said.

The feeling of X’s soft lips on mine are doing too much to me. I want him in so many ways right now but I know I’ll just be backtracking if we attempt to have sex again too soon. Baby steps I remind myself indulging in a deeper kiss knowing it’s all I’ll be able to allow myself for the time being.

X sinfully removes his lips from mine.

“Mmm,” I mumble out disappointed.

He laughs caressing my cheek so subtly, “I didn’t want to take it too far baby.”

“I know,” I whisper into his palm.

“I still can’t believe it, I don’t want to fuck anything up, I need you to show me the way, okay?” He asks slightly bending his back to meet my eyes.

I nod into his palm, never wanting to leave this position but I do because if I don’t wrap my arms around him this second I may die of physical neglect. I wrap my arms above his toned tatted shoulders and he wraps his large hands around my waist, picking me up just slightly off the ground.

“Let’s go inside,” he gently demands into my left ear and sets me back down. He grabs a hold of my hand, intertwining our fingers together and turns his back to me taking a step towards the opposite direction of me. I stay planted to the ground, he turns back around with a puzzled face.

“What’s wrong?” He asks with furrowed eyebrows.

“Nothing, why don’t we go to my place?” I simply suggest.