For Granted

-They will have a HEA. English is my second language, so please forgive any mistakes.

I didn’t start my journey in this world in such a pathetic way, believe me. I was not at all happy to be living in this difficult dilemma. I can’t pinpoint when my life became a bubble of jealousy, but here I was, trembling with anger, feeling like I could snap at any moment. And the person I considered one of the most important in my life was smiling at another woman. The jerk... the lying bastard!

I was born an adorable little baby, and everyone would agree. I have pictures to prove it. My mother has several photos of me wearing pink dresses and fluffy bows in my hair. I was always a very photogenic baby, swear to God. Mom considered signing me up with a modeling agency for a beauty career, but she decided I should choose when I was older. In the end, I opted for a different path in life. One of those paths led me to sit at a ridiculous party, feeling all kinds of shame for the unacceptable behavior of the man I loved.

I was letting him do this to me, yet again. I didn’t know why I kept putting up with his attitude. Unless I was seriously mistaken, I was being led on.

Chase was also a very cute baby—more so than I was, I would say. He was already in this world when I arrived. Our families, neighbors, and longtime friends laid us on the living room floor next to each other for the first time when I was just a few months old. I tried to pull Chase’s hair right into my mouth, and he started crying. But that’s not the point.

For reasons I can’t quite understand, I fell deeply in love with my childhood friend, Chase. It was intensely disconcerting and ultimately unrequited.

Chase, whom some might call a dumbass, was usually very kind and sweet. I might even say he was possessive, as he was always, and I mean always, in my space. He would call me all the time, send me texts, and insist on seeing me every day. However, there was one thing he would never do: he would never make any romantic moves towards me. He never, at any point, commented on the possibility of a romantic relationship between us. Never.

One might think he had a hidden interest or a longing for me. It could have been incredibly romantic if that were the case, but the truth was different. The fact that he had girlfriends and hookups proved that none of his actions—the texts, the kisses on the cheek, the arm around my shoulder—actually held any deeper meaning. What mattered most was his fidelity and commitment, and I had none of that. Chase never kissed me or even hinted that he wanted to. I was simply his friend and neighbor, nothing more.

Maybe Chase felt the same way, or maybe not. The truth is that he was leading me on, and I let him. I exhaled deeply as I sat down next to Chase’s companions, looked into space and wondered what I was doing here.

I could have been involved with someone by now. I could be dating, even engaged, whatever. But Chase was always around, just a phone call away to say good morning. And every time I considered giving up on him and living my life, he would come up with flowers, a grin, or an invitation to lunch, and I would decide to give it another shot. Just one more day, he’ll say Just one more day and he will say the right things...

But he was actually an idiot.

He would kiss my cheek and forehead, inquire about my day, insist on bringing me places, and purchase me whatever I desired. He would sit beside me with his arm around my shoulders at any opportunity. He would make me join in all of his games and, on occasion, his training.

However, that was the extent of his commitment to me. Perhaps he doesn’t even realize what he’s doing.

He was making me waste my damn time, that was what he was doing! Why am I allowing this...?

I am currently at a party, which Chase begged me to attend. He enjoyed partying, being with his friends, dancing, talking, and mingling. I loved to read, eat, sleep, and avoid these damn places.

We were in college, and it seemed like folks felt obligated to always party for some reason. But then, to entertain Chase the jerk, I agreed to accompany him.

I always assumed he’d wake up one day and discover I’d always been by his side. All of the work and embarrassment would be worthwhile, and he would realize my worth. As a result, I completed the tasks he assigned me. Let us go to that party or restaurant.Let’s watch a movie, go swimming...

I’ve heard about his exploits because everyone seemed to think I should be informed. I don’t know how much of it was really true; I just knew that people talked endlessly about his conquests.

I never witnessed anything firsthand. Chase never did any of the things I had heard about in front of me. Whenever we attended parties, he would usually stay by my side, but he never displayed any signs of romantic interest beyond friendship. To be honest, I believe that if a guy like Chase is not willing to make a move after all this time—especially since I’m the person he’s been spending time with—it means he’s not interested.

He wouldn’t wait around for no reason. The reality is clear: Erin, you are just a friend!Wake up, girl!I don’t know why I kept wasting my time on this guy. I should just let it go and accept that he doesn’t feel the same way.

It broke my heart to think that what I wanted would never happen. Chase would never treat me like a woman. He would never kneel at my feet to ask me to marry him. He would never beg to be by my side. He didn’t know how to recognize my feelings, and I couldn’t even blame him. Who is obligated to love someone in this world? It’s just that he always made me feel special and unique, in a way that made my heart burn.

Why didn’t he ever take action? The reality is, Chase was my friend, but he wasn’t really my boyfriend. Not in any way or form. We were not a couple; I had no right to be jealous or mad at him. But there’s also something funny about all this.

Whenever I tried to step back a little and be more indifferent to him, he would make a big deal out of it and ask me to stop pushing him away. It was like I was hurting him like he didn’t like the space I was trying to create.I know. This is absolute bullshit. He was giving me mixed signals, and I was letting him do it.

My mind was boiling with indignation. I sat alone at that moment, feeling abandoned, my stomach churning with apprehension. People were walking and dancing around me. Couples were kissing, conversations were happening. My gaze darted around the room, but I couldn’t see anyone. I was thinking about the boy who brought me flowers when I was ten years old because I was “sick” during my first feminine problems. Not knowing what to do, he came to visit me with his mother and brought the most beautiful flowers my young mind had ever seen. He stayed with me all afternoon, playing tea time. But now, he wasn’t by my side. He wasn’t that boy anymore, and his kisses on my face had no meaning at all.

I don’t know when my feelings for him started to change. We had been friends for so long, and now... now I just wanted to throw myself at him, to kiss him senseless, to hear him say he felt the same way about me. But it never happened. I felt like it was a lost cause.

He was hurting me with his thoughtless attitude, and he didn’t even seem to care!I caught sight of him in the crowd and smiled without even realizing it. My heart jumped in my chest when I saw the brightness of his smile directed at someone I didn’t know. He was so handsome, so gorgeous, so tall. His blond hair was perfectly styled without any effort. Everything about him overwhelmed me—his looks, his attitude. He was striking. But knowing that he was not interested in me like this...it hurt. It hurt deeply. Wait...

What is he doing?I frowned as I focused on Chase’s face. He was smiling—happy and genuinely interested.

That expression seemed strangely out of place for me. I sat up straighter in my chair, feeling my face flush with confusion. That look had never been directed at me. Yet, he was talking to a woman and looking at her in that particular way. The shock of seeing him act so... sensual with someone else hit me like a lightning bolt. I felt suffocated, dizzy, and embarrassed—almost numb.

He had said he was going to the kitchen to get me some water. It wouldn’t take more than two minutes; he’d be back soon. I sat there, looking around and feeling slightly out of place. Meanwhile, he leaned against a wall in a relaxed position, chatting with a stunning woman I didn’t recognize.I was in shock at that sight. I was seated next to some of my friends and several of Chase’s teammates, waiting for him to return. Before he left, he had said to me, “Babe, wait here for me. I’ll be back with another drink, okay?”Fine, I thought. I’d wait here. And now, here I was.

I focused on where Chase was talking to that gorgeous stranger, clearly deep in conversation. The girl was clearly enjoying herself, laughing at something he said, and playfully touched his chest with her beautifully painted nails.

A wave of nausea washed over me. Chase didn’t pull away; instead, he smiled, took a sip of his water, and leaned in closer to her. “Look away, Erin,” my subconscious warned me. I knew this situation was bound to end badly. There was no way it wouldn’t turn into a disaster. Yet, there was a certain thrill in watching a runaway train barreling toward a crash, so I couldn’t tear my eyes away. T

ears of confusion began to form in my eyes, and for a brief moment, I feared I was going to break down in front of all those people. I glanced to the side, hoping to find someone who understood my embarrassment and met the gaze of a classmate. She looked back at me with a worried, sad expression, reflecting my own distress.

Her hand touched mine gently, and I looked at Lili, a friend of mine and also the girlfriend of one of Chase’s teammates. She was giving me a sad smile that conveyed what words could not express.

“Do you want to go home?” she asked me in a whisper. I swallowed hard and turned my gaze to the couple leaning against the wall. I wanted to leave.

There was no way out. I couldn’t live like this anymore. “Give up, Erin. Just give up,” I thought.

The pain of humiliation, knowing that someone else was participating in it alongside me, ignited something inside my chest. He won’t do this to me anymore. I won’t allow him to treat me like this.

A headache was forming at the back of my head. I tried to soothe it by massaging my neck, but it was no good. I felt like a fool. Maybe Chase had been trying to be kind all this time, avoiding confrontation. But it was now painfully obvious—he didn’t care about me. Someone who truly cared wouldn’t act this way. I was a fool.

Perhaps he didn’t want to make me sad. Maybe he didn’t want to let me down too hard. Am I really that pitiful? Was he with this girl to show me how much of an idiot I was?

Lili squeezed my hand tightly this time and said, “Hmm... honey, let’s go to the bathroom for a minute?”

I didn’t immediately understand her urgency, but she stood up and tried to drag me with her to the other side of the room. I turned to look back at Chase and... no, no...I remained seated despite Lili’s efforts to get me to stand. In front of me, I saw my Chase kissing an unknown girl, kissing her in a way that left no doubt about his interest. I felt like I could die at that moment. Why did I let him treat me like this?! Chase. He was actually kissing her—as if I didn’t exist, as if I wasn’t even there.

How could he do this to me? I put my face in my hands, feeling completely bewildered. This was the price of ignorance. When the truth finds you, it can make you sick.

I didn’t know if I should feel grateful. It would be really pathetic to start crying, wouldn’t it?So why was I doing it? I stood up suddenly, making Lili jump in surprise.

“Sorry,” I told her, clutching my bag to my chest. “I’m going to go. Thanks, Lili.”

“I’ll go with you. I’m sorry... I didn’t...”

“It’s okay,” I said, cutting her off. “You don’t have to apologize. It’s not your fault. He just doesn’t see me that way. Look,” I said, wiping my face, “I’ll be going now. Please say goodbye to everyone for me. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I am okay. Seeing how he acted behind my back would make everything easier. Maybe love is ignorant, but humiliation certainly isn’t. Waves of shame and self-loathing crawled up my spine, and I felt goosebumps cover my arms as I approached the front door to call an Uber.

A heavy hand landed on my arm, and I let out a small cry, turning to see who it was. It was Jason.

“Erin,” he said. Jason was Chase’s friend and Lili’s boyfriend.

“I’ll get Chase. Wait here.” I pulled away from him as if his touch had burned me.

“No, thanks,” I responded, feeling offended. No way, no way in hell! “I don’t need him. I don’t want him,” I said firmly. “I’m going to leave now, thank you, Jason.”

He scratched his head, trying again. “Look, Erin, it will be just a minute...”

“No, but thanks anyway, Jason. I really appreciate it. Bye-bye, I’m leaving now.” He muttered something I couldn’t understand and began to mess with his hair. I decided it was best to make a quick escape and went outside to call for an Uber.

Within minutes, I was inside the car, heading back to my dorm.A sense of loss filled my heart. Staying with Chase was out of the question now. I knew I would never be able to get over this. I placed my hands on my cheeks, anticipating what lay ahead. How could I ever look at his face again after witnessing how he acts in person?

He doesn’t care... he truly doesn’t care. I should have given up a long time ago. I don’t know why I was even considering staying with him. It was foolish... so foolish!

At least Chase hadn’t seen my reaction. I didn’t know if any of his friends would comment on how I had left... I hoped not, as it was humiliating enough. I could act like nothing had happened. I could ignore him and keep him at a distance.

I would take one step at a time to distance myself from him. It wouldn’t be easy, but I could do it. Chase didn’t know anything, so he wouldn’t realize how humiliated I felt. It was my responsibility to take care of myself.

I couldn’t allow myself to be treated this way. If he wanted to enjoy his life and be a womanizer, I wasn’t going to stand by and watch.I was forming a little plan in my mind. I didn’t want to be overly dramatic, but something had to be done. Here’s what I thought of:

- It’s time to step back from Chase. You still care about him as a friend, but things are different now.

- Set some boundaries: don’t let him touch you, hug you, or anything like that. It’s not okay; you’re not his girlfriend, and he can’t just act however he wants.

- Look around, Erin! There are plenty of great guys out there. It’s totally fine to say yes to dates or grab coffee with someone.

- If Chase insists on this behavior of acting like a boyfriend without being one, tell him how mean it is of him to act this way. He is so full of himself, the jerk!

- Take care of yourself, Erin. Don’t feel guilty about this; it happens all the time. I assure you, you will find a kind and genuinely nice guy.

With these small plans forming in my mind, I feel somewhat better. I know I need to start setting boundaries in this friendship because it’s just not working anymore.

I was lost in thought when I was startled by the ringing of my phone. I looked at the screen and saw that it was an incoming call from Chase. What does he want now ?I answered the call and placed the phone to my ear.

“Erin,” Chase said immediately, “Where are you?”

“I’m in my dorm, Chase. I’m heading inside now,” I replied in a flat tone.

“Why did you leave like this, without waiting for me? You know I don’t like it when you do that. You need to wait for me. I would have taken you. Just wait, okay? I’m coming to your dorm,” he said. I interrupted him, almost rudely.

“Don’t,” I said through gritted teeth. “No, Chase. I’m tired; I’m going to sleep. Talk to you later, okay?” I said firmly, wanting to end the call.

“What? Why? Erin, I’m coming to your dorm,” he insisted again. “I don’t understand why you’re acting like this.”Too bad.

“Don’t come over. I’m serious. We’ll talk later. Bye.”

“Erin, wait...!” I abruptly hung up the call.That’s it, Erin. Good job. No more of this. Chase is a friend—let’s act like friends, for goodness’ sake. A potential boyfriend won’t be okay with this kind of relationship. You did well for yourself! Now, you need to...

-Incoming call-

Chase. What does he want? I’m not answering.

I entered my room and went directly to bed, throwing myself down with my face on the pillow. What a night.

-Incoming messages-

What the... hell!

I look at my phone and see that Chase already sent me five different messages:

"Answer the phone.”

“What the hell, Erin?”

“I am coming to your place.”

“Erin, you better answer me right now.”

Chase... Stop being a JERK!