Chapter 1
The first time my eyes locked with his, I felt something pull at me—a strange magnetic tug that I couldn’t explain. It wasn’t just attraction, not the kind that flickers for a second and dies away. No, this was something else, a current humming between us, something that whispered of purpose, of inevitability.
I didn’t say it out loud then, not to him, not even to Maria. But that moment carved itself into my memory like a scar: his gaze, steady and unreadable, meeting mine across the schoolyard. His eyes—God, those eyes—held something so mesmerizing that I felt exposed, as if he could read every thought I’d ever buried.
I should have turned away. I should have told myself he was a teacher, nothing more, nothing less. But instead, that day became the beginning of a story I never expected to write.
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“Maria!” My voice cracked, the words tumbling out of me like glass shattering. I was sobbing so hard my throat burned. My eyes felt like they were swelling out of my skull, puffy and red, but the tears wouldn’t stop. “There’s something between us. I know it. A force, a vibe, something that wants us to unite!”
Maria stared at me from the other end of the couch, her hand pressed to her forehead like she was holding back a headache. I could see the exact moment she wanted to scream. She’d been listening since morning—hours of my spiraling grief—and now, as the day dragged toward its end, I was still at it.
“Joey,” she said flatly, “you sound insane.”
But how could I stop? How could I breathe when my world had just caved in?
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It started with a simple habit, one that seemed harmless: checking his Friendsgram every morning. His posts were my secret sunlight. Even when the world felt gray, he gave me color.
But today, the color bled out of me.
Because the photo he posted this morning was the end of everything.
His hand—his beautiful, steady hand—slid a sapphire-studded ring onto Lori’s finger. The photo caught the moment perfectly: her delicate palm in his, the shine of the diamond burning against the screen.
*Happily engaged. Love you L! #ALforever*
That caption detonated inside my chest.
My breath vanished. My hands went cold. And then the sobs tore out of me, unstoppable, humiliating.
I clutched my phone like it might dissolve in my grip. My heart felt like it was bleeding in real time, every drop heavy, every beat unbearable.
---
Maria tried reason. She always did.
“Joey, don’t bother him. Unfollow. Block. Do whatever you need to stop torturing yourself. You’re lucky he didn’t find out about… you know. If he had, you’d be in jail right now.” Her eyes narrowed, her patience thinning. “This is not love, Joey. It’s obsession. And obsession burns everything.”
I knew she was right. I *knew*. But truth is useless against longing.
“Maria,” I whispered, clutching her sleeve like a child, “I love him. I love him crazily. I need him. If I just tell him the truth, maybe he’ll stop. Maybe he won’t marry her.”
“Joey—”
“Do you think Lori’s prettier than me?”
The question tumbled out before I could stop it. My voice cracked. My reflection was right there, framed in the mirror across the room, taunting me with all the ways I was lacking.
Lori was polished, perfect. The kind of beauty that earned rings and captions and hashtags.
Me? I was just Joey. Eighteen. Too young. Too desperate. Too reckless.
“Am I not beautiful enough?” I asked, my voice a broken whisper meant more for the girl in the mirror than for Maria.
Maria groaned, dragging her hands down her face. “You are beautiful, Joey. But you lied to him. You showed him someone who wasn’t you. And if you tell him the truth now, do you know what he’ll do? He’ll report you. He’ll destroy your future before it even starts.”
Her tone softened, but the edge of exhaustion lingered. “There are other guys out there. Handsome ones. Caring ones. Real ones. Who will love the *real you*, not some Catherine you invented online. Stop risking your life on something so toxic. Please.”
Her words should have anchored me. Instead, they slipped through my fingers like sand.
Because the truth was, I couldn’t imagine a future without him.
For two years, he had been printed onto my heart. For eight months, I had lived in a fake relationship that felt more real than anything else in my life.
“My soul has accepted him,” I whispered. “I can’t erase that.”
Maria’s arms wrapped around me, pulling me into the kind of hug that felt like a lifeline. I pressed my face into her shoulder, silent tears soaking her shirt. She didn’t flinch. She didn’t scold. She just held me.
And for the first time all day, I felt a sliver of peace.
But peace doesn’t last. Not when your heart is tied to a man who belongs to someone else. Not when the secret you carry is heavy enough to shatter both your lives.
And I knew—deep down—that this was only the beginning.
