Shared miracles (9-1-1 TV Series)

Summary:

Buck discovers Eddie’s plan to leave, leading to a heartfelt confession. Buried feelings surface, turning a broken goodbye into a fragile step toward hope.

Chapter Text

Buck knew something was off the second he walked into the loft. Eddie was at the table, hunched over his laptop, eyes fixed on the screen with an intensity that made Buck pause.

It wasn’t the usual Eddie, zoning out while scrolling for gear or watching videos about baseball drills for Chris. No, this was different.

Buck frowned, stepping closer. “What’re you looking at?”

Eddie didn’t answer right away. He just sighed, sitting back in his chair. The laptop remained open, the image of a modest, single-story house staring back at Buck like an omen.

“...You buying a house?” Buck asked slowly, a nervous laugh bubbling up in his chest.

Eddie didn’t look at him. “It’s in El Paso.”

And there it was.

The words hit Buck like a freight train, stealing the air from his lungs. He blinked, trying to process, trying to make sense of something that made no sense.

“El Paso?” he echoed, like maybe he’d misheard.

Eddie nodded once. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Chris is there. He needs me, Buck.”

Buck felt the room tilt. “He has you. You’re here for him, every day–FaceTime, calls, trips back and forth. You don’t have to move, Eddie.”

Eddie finally turned to face him, and the look in his eyes nearly broke Buck’s heart. It was resignation. Finality.

“You don’t get it, Buck. It’s not enough. He’s my son.”

“So what?” Buck snapped, his voice louder than he intended. “You’re just going to pack up your life–leave everything behind? Leave me behind?”

The words slipped out before Buck could stop them, raw and exposed. Eddie’s eyes narrowed, but there was something soft in his gaze, too. Like he was searching for something–an explanation Buck wasn’t ready to give.

“I don’t have a choice,” Eddie said quietly.

Buck’s hands clenched into fists. The panic was clawing at his chest now, rising too fast for him to push down. He watched Eddie close the laptop, and the sound of the lid snapping shut was like a door slamming in his face.

He’s leaving.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Eddie couldn’t just leave–he couldn’t walk away like Buck didn’t matter. Like they didn’t matter.

“Eddie,” Buck started, his voice cracking. “You can’t–”

“I don’t have a choice,” Eddie cut him off, his voice rising. “I can’t–” He stopped himself, jaw tight, and turned away.

«He can’t what?»

Buck’s brain was spiraling, scrambling for something–anything–to stop Eddie from walking out of his life. Desperation grabbed him by the throat, and before he could think, before he could stop himself, the words were tumbling out.

“I’m pregnant, and it’s yours!”

The silence that followed was absolute.

Eddie froze, staring at Buck like he’d grown a second head. “What?”

Buck’s face went pale. His heart pounded in his ears as reality came crashing down on him. “I–”

Eddie’s brow furrowed, and then, impossibly, he laughed. A low, disbelieving sound that made Buck’s cheeks burn.

“You’re stupid,” Eddie said, shaking his head. “That’s not funny, Buck.”

But Buck wasn’t laughing. His pulse was racing, his chest heaving as panic and something bigger–something heavier–pressed down on him.

“It’s not a joke,” Buck said, his voice shaking. “I mean–okay, obviously the pregnancy thing is insane, but–Eddie, you can’t go.”

Eddie’s smile faltered. He blinked, suddenly unsure. “Buck...”

“You can’t go,” Buck repeated, stepping closer. “Because if you do, I–” He swallowed hard, the words sticking in his throat. But he couldn’t hold them back anymore. “I love you, Eddie.”

Eddie’s expression shifted, his face going still, unreadable, frozen.

“I love you,” Buck said again, softer this time. “And I know I’m an idiot for saying it like this–like that–but I couldn’t just let you leave without telling you. I can’t lose you.”

The room felt smaller now. Eddie didn’t move. He just stood there, staring at Buck like he was seeing him for the first time. The silence stretched between them, too long, too heavy.

And then Eddie spoke, his voice quiet. “This is why I need to go.”

Buck flinched. “What?”

Eddie looked down, shaking his head. “I can’t do this anymore, Buck. I can’t keep–” He broke off, his hands curling into fists. “It’s not just about Chris. I thought if I left, if I put some distance between us, maybe I could...”

He trailed off again, but Buck heard the words he wasn’t saying.

Buck stepped forward, his heart pounding. “Maybe you could what, Eddie?”

Eddie looked up, his eyes burning with something Buck had never seen before–something raw and vulnerable.

“Maybe I could stop feeling this way about you,” Eddie admitted, his voice breaking.

Buck’s breath caught.

Eddie looked away again, like it hurt to say it out loud. “You think this is easy for me? Watching you, being around you, knowing I–” He cut himself off, letting out a bitter laugh. “You’re my best friend, Buck. I can’t–”

“Then don’t,” Buck interrupted, stepping closer. Understanding. “Don’t leave. Don’t walk away because you’re scared of how you feel.”

Eddie’s gaze snapped back to him. “It’s not that simple. I...”

“Yes, it is!” Buck’s voice was fierce now, his eyes locked on Eddie’s. “Maybe we’re both idiots who don’t know how to deal with our feelings, but running away isn’t going to fix it.”

Eddie didn’t say anything, but he didn’t move away either.

Buck took a shaky breath. “You said Chris needs you, right? Well, I need you too. And I think you need me, whether you want to admit it or not.”

Eddie’s shoulders slumped, like the fight had finally drained out of him. He looked at Buck, really looked at him, and for the first time, Buck saw it–the love, the longing, all the things Eddie had been trying to bury.

“Say it again,” Eddie murmured.

Buck blinked. “What?”

“Say it again.”

Buck swallowed hard, his voice soft. “I love you.”

Eddie closed his eyes for a moment, like he was letting the words sink in. When he opened them again, there was no hesitation.

“I love you too,” Eddie said quietly.

Buck let out a shaky laugh, relief crashing over him. “Then stay.”

Eddie looked at him for a long moment, and finally, he nodded. “Okay.”

Buck sagged with relief, a smile breaking across his face. “Good. Because I don’t think I could survive another fake pregnancy announcement.”

Eddie huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah,” Buck said, grinning. “But I’m your idiot.”

Eddie smiled back, and for the first time in weeks, it felt like everything was going to be okay.

***

Later that evening, after a long conversation and a quiet reflection, Eddie sent a message to Christopher:

I know things are complicated right now. I want you to know I’m here, no matter where you are. I love you. I always will.

Eddie stared at the screen for a long moment, his heart in his throat. He wasn’t sure when Chris would be ready to talk to him again, but he would wait. He would fight for his son, for the family they could still be.

As Buck came up behind him, resting his chin on Eddie’s shoulder, Eddie smiled faintly. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but for the first time in a long while, he had hope.